I get what you’re saying, but I think it could fall into that “Easier said than done” category, where a lot of “Just have this one attitude and your inner game will be tight” advice falls into.

If I know deep down I see a girl as a 10 I can’t just simply say to myself, “She’s a 6 now”, and then magically become confident and at ease around her. In my heart, I don’t feel it’s true.

I think to really make that mental shift, you need real world experience and success, and your outlook changes over time.

That’s pretty much what happened to you – after three years, then the 9 become a 6. You didn’t just think yourself that way.

Is 5 supposed to represent the median girl, or the average one? Because the ugliest girls are far ugly than the hottest ones are hot. So that would mean the median girl must be significantly hotter than the average.

@Anonymous: You’re right it takes times, but try it dude. You’ll be surprised.

Next time you’re in field and you see some girl who’s ridiculous, just shrug and tell yourself, “she’s an 8.” Yeah, you’re kidding yourself, but you do that 9-10 times and you start to believe it.

It’s called affirmations. You can convince yourself of anything if you tell yourself something enough time. Oldest self-help trick in the book.

This is going to be a blunt comment. I just think the rating scale is dumb. How can we possibly capture the essence of another person in a number? Why not just see everyone as a human being? FFS.

“Guys who adapt insanely high standards without any success or experience are just making excuses.” –Entropy

“Guys who adapt insanely high standards without any success or experience are just making excuses… for the fact that they are GAY.” –Savage

I think Frank Kermit and I are the only guys that talk about this: A lot of guys in the community are closet homosexuals. And it’s not the guys getting laid (to 6s and 7s or whatever), it’s always the guys making excuses. It is often easier for a guy to admit that he is bad with women than to admit that he is gay. The women feel and see this though. One of the ‘attraction switches’ is simply proving to her that you are not a closet homosexual.

“And then suddenly one day, you’ll run into an old fuck buddy of yours from three years ago, and realize she isn’t even close to as hot as you remember her.” –Entropy

Two things are at play here. One is the simple and unavoidable process called aging. It is rare for a girl to be as hot as she was 3 years ago.

Two is the simple fact that a new girl is always subjectively more attractive than a girl you have already slept with. Often when my friends think that my GFs are 9s and 10s, and I’m thinking, if I really want to rate her she is a 7 at best, I have to remind myself that they have not experienced her personality or sexuality like I have. As a tangent, if a woman is bad in bed, her rating goes down QUICK.

The solution for NEWBIES is simple. It is binary. There are girls you want to experience sexually, so you approach. And then there are girls that you do not.

Soporno explains it for logical guys in in this short video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDujTDXN0Ng

And then suddenly one day, you’ll run into an old fuck buddy of yours from three years ago, and realize she isn’t even close to as hot as you remember her.

Honestly this post was amazing, sooo true.. I’m not sure why this isn’t getting more attention. I used to look at 10’s as attainable, but I would do the classic things, like act way too needy, treat her like she’s on a pedestal, and essentially while trying NOT to be like every other guy who compliments her,I gave her way too much attention and was no challenge to her.
Could you write about text message game sometime, Mark? Like if a girl you’re into texts you a lot, whether its worth replying as much as she’s texting you, and when its a good idea to text or call after getting a number? I’d like to see your thoughts on it. Excellent blog, thanks for your thoughts!

Savage: The aging point in a lot of situations isn’t true. For instance, some girls get more attractive at 22 than at 19. In my opinion at least.

As far as the experience, I agree with that. Although the girl I used as an example I never had anything more than casual sex with.

I’m a fan of the binary system as well. Just as long as guys don’t get married to this weird idea of there being static “9’s and 10’s” that are all-glorious and unavoidable.

@Erika: word.

I think that the scale doesn’t only screw you over in the end, but it totally objectifies woman. Personally, I’d much rather be banging a chick that some would call a 6, but funny as hell and makes me feel good about myself, than a 9 that I feel is a constant mind battle, and just kinda sucks as a person.

DJ Fuji said something that I really liked. It went something like, “The more successful you are with women, the more willing you are to sleep with a woman that some would consider ugly. This is because you don’t identify your abilities and self-worth off of one lay anymore, as someone with little experience with women would.”

BTW, the site looks great.
Erik

Erik: I disagree that it necessarily objectifies women. It only does if a guy bases his value for women SOLELY on her “Attractiveness.”

Look, I understand that all women have wonderful things about them and ugly things about them (as all people do), and that some of the hottest women have ugly personalities and vice-versa. But on a purely physical basis, I find some girls hotter than others. End of story. So the scale does have some sort of validity.

I would argue what Fuji is saying is that as you get better, “the scale” becomes less important to you than when you start out. Which I found to be extremely true as well.