Posts Tagged ‘Wingman’
Humor, Personal, Stories - Wednesday, July 30, 2008 6:53 - 3 Comments
I’m back in Boston and glad to be home. Overall impression of Orlando: cool town with some serious quirks. During some evenings and days, everyone in the city seems to disappear (I guess they go to their many theme parks?). There was a serious lack of restaurants downtown… which makes NO sense to me. And somehow there was a big cycling culture down there, which was very cool to see.
But the night life was a pleasant surprise. It actually reminded me a lot of Austin’s — an array of bars and clubs all on the same street right next to each other. There were two main streets, the nicer, posh one and then the one with more of the bars.
But here’s the weird thing about Orlando that seemed to be a running theme with all of the instructors at the convention: the girls were EASY to pull, but would FREAK THE FUCK OUT later.
Everyone seemed to have a story like this by the end of the week. I know Doc already wrote about his (which is fucked up… running up to our room to interrupt him and tell him the chick’s friends were crying rape downstairs to security is pretty intense). Sinn and I had our own little escapade.
He covered most of it on his blog. But I guess I’ll give a mini-FR about what happened from my perspective.
It was our first night out there, Doc’s 21st birthday, and Sinn and I were on a mission to get him plastered out of his fucking mind. We kept shoving shots of Jager in front of him and opening fat girls and forcing him to talk to them. It was a great time.
After Doc puked, I started hanging out with some of the students of the convention. I was chilling with some guys I had hung out with that evening at dinner when I told him I’d do a set with him. So I drag him and his brother to the dance floor and just grab the first girl I see. I don’t even remember what I opened with, just that it was very direct, probably something vague like, “hey, come over here, you need to dance with me.”
She complied. Introduced her to the student but then just started dancing with her. Typical Entropy style, it was like a two minute makeout. So we grind and shit on the dance floor. I meet her friends, one is being kind of sassy to me, but the other one seems cool. Sinn comes flying in and I introduce her to the cool one. Within 30 minutes, we’re both outside hooking up with our chicks, and the third (bitchy) girl is out there hooking up with some random chode.
Sinn and his girl bounce to his hotel, and I ask the bitchy girl to drive my girl and I to my hotel (in hindsight, I should have gone for the cab ride). Either way, we hop in her car and are going. In the car is where shit starts to go awry.
This girl driving starts GRILLING me. “I don’t even know you, if you treat my friend bad, I’m going to kick your ass.” Blah, blah, blah. Girls say shit like this a lot, and it’s pretty easy to acknowledge it and move on. But this girl would not shut the fuck up.
Then it got really fucking weird. She’s asking me all about myself, when she looks at me in the rearview mirror and asks, “Do you have any kids?” I say no. She says, “You know, I used to have one night stands — you know, go home with random guys from the club, and now I have a kid. Do you think you’re ready to be a father?”
WHAT THE FUCK?!
As you can imagine, my girl is silent and buying temperature is plummeting. The girl starts disqualifying me as too immature, too young, not-trustworthy, etc. right in front of my girl. I can’t be an asshole because it’s her friend. I qualify myself in vain, but I can FEEL my value dropping every time I do it. And I’m stuck in the goddamn car with her. Meanwhile, chodey dude is just going along with whatever the chick says. Throw me a goddamn bone, brother.
Now that my shit’s fucked up, I suppose the bitch decided to fuck up Sinn’s shit too because she started freaking out about where her other friend was and what the fuck was she doing with Sinn. Literally a block from my hotel, she turns around and heads to Sinn’s hotel. I’m calling Sinn but he’s not answering. I text him to try to warn him. We get to the hotel and I call up to his room telling him we’re here, we’re coming up and shit’s hit the fan. He replies, “Dude, it can’t get any worse than my night’s already been,” and we go up.
We start heading to his room. My girl is suddenly silent. The bitch is ranting about how Sinn’s girl is a slut and should know better. The douchebag has just stood by all night and watched all of this happen. Thanks for the help, faggot.
When I walk in, the first thing I see is Sinn’s girl in tears in the bathroom. I look at Sinn and he just throws his hands up like, “Fuck it, I give up.” Bitchy girl runs into the room and starts screaming, “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER? OH MY GOD!”
I hit my limit. I tell them to get out. They all look at me confused. I say, “This shit isn’t worth it. Go home.” Then MY GIRL bursts into tears and runs out of the room.
Turns out that she just got dumped by her boyfriend and is really sensitive. Whoopdie-fucking-do… now get out.
They all leave. Sinn’s girl makes an attempt at an apology, but his patience has run out too. We talk about how Orlando girls are fucking nutcases and go to bed.
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