Check it out.

But seriously, I’m really excited about the product. Some details:

- 3 Hour Audio Course
- 30 pages of PDF’s
- Various Bonuses

Stay tuned to http://www.manoncampus.com/ tomorrow to check it out.

I’m also doing a bunch of interviews right now. One is supposed to be for a local news station, but the broad keeps flaking on me (women…).

But anyway, this week’s mailbag deals with more theoretical stuff of why you should escalate, social circle game, and limiting beliefs.

Hey Mark, I’ve been analyzing my game lately and I think that the only thing that I don’t do is pushing the interaction, your famous ABC! I get telephone numbers easily, but I think anyone can do that. I’ve made out few times and when I do it I see the girl again. I’ve never had a SNL or sex in the bathroom. Why is it so hard to see the girl again if you don’t have a physical interaction with her? What does she think that she wants to see you again? What does she think that she doesn’t want to see you again when yo don’t have a physical interaction with her? What’s going on in their minds? Why do I have to have the physical interaction ASAP? What is the problem with dating?

Thanks, Leo.

There’s nothing “Wrong” with dating or taking things slow. The more physical you get with a woman, the more invested they become in the interaction. For instance, if you talk to a woman for two hours one night and get her number she may think three days later, “Oh, he was a nice guy,” but not make any effort to see you again. But if you talk for two hours and passionately make out then she’s much more likely to remember you, be more emotionally invested in you, and backward rationalize reasons why she liked you and wants to see you again.

I recommend guys get physical as soon as possible because it increases their chances of seeing women again, decreases flakes, and gives them more flexibility in establishing expectations for the relationship.

Entropy,
I’m 20, but I feel like I’m 60. I feel like I’ve been wasting my life. Everytime I try and improve my discipline, skills, whatever, a little voice inside me goes “Damn you, John. Why didn’t you do this years ago?” I need to get over my regrets.

Thanks,
John

Yeah, you do. Dude, you’re so young, it’s ridiculous. Just remind yourself every time you think this to go ahead and do now because if you don’t, five years from now you’ll back and say, “Damnit John, why didn’t you do this when you were 20.” This way, you can prevent those thoughts from even occurring in the future.

Hey Entropy, I think you are right on with your Personalizing Pickup ideas. To follow up on the question from anonomous, for us lucky guys who have physical advantages, would you suggest different openers since we are coming in with high value as it is? Direct or indirect, maybe low-investment or compliment openers, or even low value openers like Braddock’s “I’m not sure what to say to you, but I had to meet you. I’m Braddock.”

How about with qualification? Should we avoid the large and harsher hoops like “What do you have going for you other than your looks?” and stick with small/medium hoops? Or should we assume rapport and go straight into comfort after the opener?

Thanks.
F

Yes, the more physical advantages you have, the more going direct will take care of literally all the attraction game you need. Also, much lower investment openers work really well, such as, “Hi, I’m F.” because most of the time when you approach girls figure you approach women a lot and want to be hit on by you.

As for qualifying, you don’t want to be harsh, but definitely get as deep as possible with your hoops to build more comfort. Again, the disadvantage of being good-looking is that women are going to be slower to trust you and think that you say this shit to every girl. You’re much more likely to come off as a “player” and often they have to feel like they earned your affection. This is why the more natural (passive) attraction you have, the less you need to build (active attraction).

Hey Entropy! Sad news Doc is done but I’m actually glad for him. Simple question: how do you handle getting a reputation with being with a lot of women. For a while I felt like my dick was on the black list but recently I have been cleaning up, but certainly girls have heard about me. Any ideas?

Best,
Adam

I wrote about this last year. I call it “Attraction by Osmosis.” It’s an interesting effect once you infiltrate a social circle and start sleeping with the girls in it.

What happens is they naturally become more attracted to you (this is what I called “attraction by osmosis”). But because of their increased attraction for you, they become more skeptical of you and will test your congruence a LOT. I think they also do this for social reasons because they don’t want their other friends to think they’re trying to steal their man or whatever.

But basically these girls will ACT really bitchy towards you, but if you remain unaffected and get one of them alone, usually sleeping with them is very easy.

This is a follow up to Sunday’s Conversation Demolition. A reader had a great question about gaming girls at work and how having a reputation as a player can affect your career:

Does developing a “reputation” in the office seem to hurt your ability to rise in the company? PU stuff all aside. I would think maybe, especially in this day and age where women have more power in the workplace. if they are showing disdain on the surface, even if they really want your penis, that could still hurt you. But maybe not.

To be honest, I’ve never held a stable 9-5 office job for more than six weeks, so I couldn’t really answer it, but some other readers were able to offer good points.

It’s specific to the industry in which you work. In the financial services world (or what still exists of it), there are very few women in management and it’s a very alpha-centric social order, so fucking one or multiple female assistants or associates is no big deal and probably helps your office status. In other worlds, building a reputation as the office slut will not be a good thing for your career path at all.

In general though, and to quote my old Italian professor and life mentor, don’t shit where you eat. While it can be hot to fuck one of your co-workers on your work desk, and you can certainly get away with it, you’re creating a ton of potential for screwing up your career if you don’t navigate the situation well. 1,000 times more true if one of you in any way reports to the other one.

If you’re serious about your career (and you don’t work in an atmosphere where fucking co-workers is encouraged as it is in banking), dip into that pool at your own peril. There are plenty of other ways to meet hot women.

And another good point:

Keep in mind that if anything goes wrong and she uses the dreaded words “sexual harassment” you are in for a world of trouble. Not worth the risk IMO.

But I suppose a fact of note is that the hero in the demolition is from Europe and Europeans tend to be much more lax about sex in general than Americans, so I asked the man himself, and this is what he had to say:

I have been sleeping and fooling around with girls on various jobs, and it has never hurt my carreer.

What is very important though, at least in my opinion and also for most of the girls, is that you are discrete and keep it on the down low. Not only shouldn’t you want to be seen as a player that uses all the girls, she doesn’t want everybody to know either. This is also something that you can use to build attraction and sexual tension, for instance by mentioning how naughty it is to sleep with a co-worker. Furthermore, most bosses don’t appreciate office romances, simply because it’s distracting and thus may influence performance. So if your boss notices that you’re screwing all the girls in the office he won’t be happy about it, especially not if he isn’t getting any of them.

My advice would be to keep it discrete, and try to make sure nobody finds out.

And there ya have it. Use your judgment and discretion wisely. Or as my dad used to tell me, “Son, don’t dip your pen in company ink.” But luckily I’m in an industry that’s pretty accepting about those things.

I’ve been getting some great questions. So keep them coming. Send them to: entropy@practicalpickup.com.

Do you think that in dealing with sexual anxiety that finding a good therapist to work with is the best method?

- Dan

Lots of talk of therapy going around lately. I’ll say this: therapy helped MY sexual anxiety and inner game in general more than about anything else. Now granted, I had a SHIT TON of baggage (previous relationship, parent issues, messed up adolescence, etc.) which was the root of my sexual anxiety and most of my inner game issues.

Would I recommend therapy to anybody who’s gotten out of an absolutely atrocious relationship? Yes. Absolutely. Would I recommend therapy to anyone who had a fucked up childhood or has horrible relations with their parents. YES! No question.

But don’t take therapy as a cure-all for inner game issues. There’s a lot of stuff that it won’t fix.

And I have to say this again, because it’s crucial. THERAPY WILL NOT WORK IF YOU DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR CHANGING YOURSELF. I think most people tend to show up to therapy, plop down on the couch and expect the shrink to fix them. No, you are fixing yourself and the shrink is there to facilitate it.

I’ve been meeting new girls constantly from college. I don’t want to be a PUA. I just want to be, like you say, a normal guy. But a socially successful normal guy. A guy that has fun wherever, whenever. Dating science has been helping me tons with it. Is it worth it spending all that money going out and all that time spent? What if I already know what I want?

- Rodrigo

If you already know what you want, then just focus on that. Don’t focus on what ebooks, DVD courses and forums tell you to be. Focus on what YOU want to be. It sounds like you have a pretty solid lifestyle already. Use PUA to supplement it, not replace it.

You’re a guy I would tell not to pay for coaching. Read stuff. Get some advice. Try it out in your regular social life. That should suit your needs.

Could you touch on building attraction in bars / clubs / book stores in a future post? This area is a bit of a mystery to me, and I’m curious how you go about generating attraction prior to moving to comfort game.

- TR

I give the girl my patented “blue steel.” We make out within 30 seconds. Then if I decide I like her, we fuck in the bathroom. If she’s good in the bathroom, then I go into comfort game. If she’s cool and we fall in love before last call (2AM in Boston), then I’ll take her phone number. If not, I open another set.

Seriously though, what you just asked is the subject of like 5,000 pages and 60 hours of seminar. But how do I build attraction? Teasing and banter mostly.

Hey Entropy I know BradP learned a lot from naturals but what exactly do your naturals do differently than a mpua or is it something intangible that they have? I know a couple naturals in my school but I don’t necessarily think they are naturals they are just good looking guys is that the case here?

- Anonymous

Absolutely not. The word “natural” is one of the most misconstrued terms in the PUA community. That’s why I tend to call these two guys “supernaturals.” You have to have 300+ lays and have fucked a model from a major magazine to qualify as a supernatural. These guys both have (Maxim and Vogue-Italy respectively).

But to answer your question, “do they do things that mPUA’s don’t?” Yes and no. I would say they do FEWER things, because they only do what works and nothing else, although they’re not aware of it. Are the things they do similar to mPUA’s? Yeah. They just do them a lot better, so they don’t have to do as MUCH stuff.

I heard faking body language can be IMPOSSIBLE due to micro movements, lightining fast eyebrow raises, pupil dilation, etc…

What do you think?

- Love Potion

Interesting question. On a conscious level, yes, it’s totally fake-able. But those micro movements are only noticed sub-consciously — i.e., it’s those micro movements that tell us a “vibe” a person has. So you can be doing the right body language overtly, but your “vibe” will be off, and you’ll seem incongruent.

This is fine and a phase pretty much everybody goes through when they start out. The other thing about body language though is that you can actually train your mind by changing your body language. For instance, if you fix your body language, your mind will begin to reflect the postures you create.

So in time, the micro movements will catch up to the conscious movement.

Thursday, I headed over to a British friend’s place — he was holding Thanksgiving for Thanksgiving orphans. This is the first time I didn’t go home to Texas for the holidays, so it was nice to hang out with a bunch of friends and meet new people.

The meal and everything was great. One guy brought over four different Brazilian/Latina girls. They were nice, but I didn’t find any of them particularly attractive. I thought it was kind of funny though, because he’s going one on four with them and his friend just sat idly in the other room, doing nothing for him. The dude needed a wing. Myself and the host helped out a bit but then the guy switched targets after like two hours… and then an hour later he switched AGAIN. Oh, and now his friend finally comes in and occupies the first girl his friend was hitting on. All in all, it was a pretty textbook example of how NOT to handle set logistics and how NOT to wing. Both of these guys are in the community too. So if you guys read this, you seriously need to practice winging and coordinating! Shame!

Anyway, this 40-year-old cougar somehow got me on her lap and started giving me a back rub. Note to women: I’m the biggest whore for a good back rub. Start rubbing my back and I’ll do just about anything. No shame.

Well, after awhile the cougar starts not-so-subtly discussing how good she is at giving head and how men are never able to handle her. It’s pretty obvious what she wants.

I get up and go to the kitchen to get a drink and she follows me. As I grab the bottle I turn around and she’s just standing there facing me. Moment of truth… do I do it?

Nope… couldn’t. A year or two ago, I probably would have, but I just wasn’t attracted to her enough physically. As much as I love cougars, for whatever reason, once they’re more than 15 years older than me, it’s not hot anymore.

So the rest of the evening was spent subtly avoiding her. Luckily some other girls came over.

The next girl I ended up talking to was interesting. She was kind of edgy, had tattoos, black hair. Caught her looking at me a lot, so I eventually took the opportunity to sit next to her. Kino (on each other’s tattoos), and immediately get the conversation sexual. We quickly got into some kinky shit. I don’t even remember how, but I think I was telling her about the time I had a SNL where the girl wanted me to punch her in the face (I don’t mean hit or slap, I mean wind up and punch her), and how I couldn’t bring myself to do it and left.

Next thing I know, we’re talking about pissing on her and how she likes to be shackled up and treated like a slave. Uhh… whoa.

This conversation goes on for a bit and I’m getting tipsy. I pretty much tell her at point blank, “You know, I’d totally be down for that sometime.” These days, when I’m in deep comfort with girls I’ll usually just tell them out right what I want to do with them and it works better than anything else.

She smiles and says she has an exclusive boyfriend… and no they don’t do threesomes. What?! That’s so lame. But she gives me her number anyway in case things change.

Next day, I’ve got a one on one the first half of the night. But I run into a bunch of the senior Boston Lair guys — guys I haven’t gone out with and sarged with in a long time. I’m coaching until about midnight, and finally get in state and interested in sarging by about 1AM. (For whatever reason, coaching requires such a different mindset, that it’s actually hard to sarge for yourself and coach at the same time or in the same night… at least for me it is.)

In the meantime, I end up spending a long time goading these guys (was still a bit in coaching mode). One of them was the creepiest staring guy I’ve ever seen in my life. (Mr. Awesome, if you’re reading this, he made your worst nights look very tame). A girl would be 10 feet away and he’d just stare her down with his mouth open for a good 15 seconds, visibly creeping her and the rest of us out in the process.

The other senior lair guy, who has some game, then practically wet himself over a “perfect 10″ (She was like an 8.5 at most). So I twisted his arm to go direct on her for 20 minutes. This guy is pretty good and respected up here in Boston. So it was kind of fun to watch approach anxiety get the best of him. He eventually did open her, but it didn’t go anywhere.

So finally, I’m just standing around and all the sudden my buddy says, “Hey dude, that girl checked you out as she walked by.” I look over to see a tall brunette walking away. 5′9″, super skinny (model’s body), long legs, long brown hair — TOTALLY my type.

I walk straight over her. Go direct. Cold read — read is dead on, chick freaks out. Fluff a minute, tease her about her job. She gives IOI’s. I kino. Bounce to dance-floor in 10 minutes. Yup… STILL GOT IT.

But wait… shit’s fucking up. She will only dance with me for 30 seconds at a time or so and she keeps getting distracted by her friends. This is a fuck-up report right here guys, it turns out I was pretty rusty after all. I should have at least gotten a make out from this chick. For whatever reason, I read the situation that her buying temperature wasn’t high enough and so I kept caveman’ing her back to the dance floor, where she’d dance for 30 seconds, get awkward and start talking to her friends again. At the time, I was kind of at a loss for what was going on, I just assumed she wasn’t attracted enough, so at last call I just bailed.

Looking back, I think she just didn’t really dance a lot. Why? She was a bad dancer. She was an engineer (i.e., dork). She responded extremely warmly every time I cavemaned her, and when I pushed her about logistics, she was sure to make a point to say, “I don’t have a boyfriend and I definitely don’t want one.” (By the way, I responded, “Yeah, I don’t want a boyfriend either.”)

I should have cavemanned her to isolate and ditched the dancing. Should have been even more aggressive with the kino as it was last call anyway. Oh well, my wing wasn’t getting anywhere either, so we bounced.

But what I actually wanted to talk about was an interesting experience last night. File the following story under the “Talk to everyone/Be naturally social” lesson of PUA/life.

We finished up the first night in-field of our bootcamp here in Austin and I hopped in a cab to head across town. Usually, as long as the cab driver speaks English and isn’t on his cell phone, I’ll talk to him and ask him where he’s from. I’ve traveled to many countries and studied International Politics in college, so I’m usually genuinely interested what some of these guys’ stories are.

I’d say once in a blue moon I hit a cab driver with some really cool shit to talk about. Well, this guy took the fucking cake.

He was from Ethiopia. I originally related by telling him how my girlfriend travels to Tanzania and does a lot of educational and development work there. Tanzania is close to Ethiopia and Kenya. We talked about Swahili and somehow we got into his life story.

This guy’s family was a high-ranked political family in Ethiopia in the 90’s. His father was one of the main ministers in the government. When he was a teenager his father was assassinated and his family was thrown into exile in Kenya. Not only that, but the opposition party and militants began hunting his family down in Kenya as well. He related stories about hiding in random people’s homes for days, eating leftover food and sometimes not at all with his mother and sisters.

Finally, the American Embassy granted his family asylum in the US and so here he is, driving a cab in Texas. The guy didn’t know his way around town to save his life (objectively, he was a fucking horrible cab driver), missing turns and all sorts of crap. But he was well-spoken, intelligent and extremely interesting.

He turned off the meter in the parking lot and we sat there for another five minutes talking about African governments and the culture of east Africa.

I guess the lesson is you don’t have to number-close or befriend people to get value out of talking to them. It’s also that you never know when someone with an amazing perspective and story is sitting right next to you.

I’ve been going out with some of my old college social circles a lot the last few weeks. I’ve been doing it because I’ve felt like I severely lost touch with my old social circles (which used to be wide and prosperous) since I left school and since I started coaching full time.

As you’ve probably noticed from my recent posts about the Post-PUA life, I’ve recognized that a large portion of my identity for the last three years was based on my sexuality and the validation I received from fucking a lot of girls.

I had kind of a disconcerting experience tonight. I hung out with some female friends that I’ve known for a long time. And no matter what we talked about, we seemed to always end up back on topics of my sex life, my sexcapades, and in particalar, the threesomes that I’ve had recently.

This actually started to bug me because these are friends I haven’t hung out to any significant degree in about a year, and I felt like we should talk about something more substantial than the orifices in which I was sticking my cock. But I realized two things. First of all, I had little else to talk about from the last year than my PUA lifestyle (that and my failed attempt in joining the 9-5 work world) and also that my friendships with these girls had ALWAYS largely consisted of me sharing my sexscapades with them. I didn’t realize this until one point when I said, “OK, enough about my sex life, let’s talk about something more interesting.” One of my old friends replied, “But (Entropy), we ALWAYS talk about your sex life.”

I kind of had a realization that this chronic identification and obsession with my sex life, my love life, women and my success with them dates back years and years before I ever was ever conscious of it. This makes sense, as this kind of obsession is what drives us to find the community in the first place.

If there’s a point to this post, I suppose it’s to say to be aware of the identity you’re creating for yourself. I realize now that I’m a successful PUA coach, that my biggest mission is to create a satisfying and exciting lifestyle for myself that DOESN’T revolve 100% around women. I had adopted the identity of the guy who chased ass and hooked up with tons of girls. I thought I had become engulfed with it and began suffering the repercussions of it only recently. But tonight has shown me that it’s been chronic throughout my young adult life for years, that it was only in the last year that I finally noticed it.

So there’s your monthly downer of a post-PUA post. This community and these skills are extremely helpful in your life fellas, but be conscious of what’s driving you to do this stuff. Always remember that life demands balance, and that obsession and dissection of every male/female interaction, no matter how helpful in the short-term, can be unhealthy in the long-term.

- A poster asked: “Is it wrong to pursue a girl after your friend has tried and failed with her?”
- The overwhelming response is “no, it’s not wrong,” although a couple guys commented that they’ve had problems with non-community friends getting mad about this.
- I chimed in saying I had lost a friendship in this way before.
- I was asked the following question: “Do you think that this has to do with a scarcity/abundance mindset, or is there something else at play here?”
- Another poster noted: “I think one of the main reasons is just the possibility of a deflated ego were your friend to succeed. A guy is almost sure to draw comparisons, etc, and maybe put himself down.”

Here was my response:

Both are true. Although the former was the cause and the latter was the effect. Let me explain…

He was my best friend through most of college. When I found the PUA community I started getting results pretty quickly. So whereas for two years, he and I used to stand around college parties with our beers, talking about how hot certain girls were but never approaching them, suddenly within a few months I was getting make-outs and lays. This was awesome at first, and he was excited for me, and I even tried to help him… but it soon started to generate friction, as I continued to get hotter girls more often and more consistently.

It came to a head after about a year. We both met this girl at the same time and were both into her. She was beautiful, smart, sweet, and she was responding warmly to him — something he wasn’t used to from a girl of her caliber. He asked me not to go for her, so I obliged. He blew it.

We ran into her AGAIN a few weeks later and he gamed her AGAIN. This time he got her number. But he never worked up the nerve to call her.

Another few weeks go by and I run into her by myself out at a bar and talk to her. She was giving me IOI’s and was fucking hot as shit. So I said fuck it, he had two legitimate shots and over a month to make something happen and he didn’t. He had gone after girls that I messed up with and I never cared (and at times, girls who I laid as well… but still didn’t care). So what’s the big deal? So, in this respect, yes, it was a question of scarcity versus abundance mentality. But that’s just the surface… the reverberations of that problem ran deeper and ended up crumbling the entire relationship.

I didn’t tell him I fucked her even though she became my main MLTR pretty quickly. I probably should have told him. About a month later, I brought her to a friend’s party. I was sitting on the couch with my arm around her. Completely unannounced and unexpected my buddy shows up, sees us, turns around and leaves five minutes later and has still not talked to me to this day.

In the end, it wasn’t just the scarcity/abundance mentality. It was the fact that I succeeded where he failed… and not just failed at like golf or poker or something, but with women. Most guys have a TON of pride and base a lot of their self-value on their success with women. The fact that he would have to watch me enjoy and repeatedly fuck this girl that he wanted, tried and failed would be a constant reminder of this shortcoming. I guess his ego didn’t want to deal with it. And not only that, but he probably perceived that I was doing it to gratify MY own ego… to SHOW him that I could do it, even though to me it didn’t matter either way.

They tell you when you get into this that you will lose friends. YOU WILL. Looking back, it was for the better. Overall, he had become a negative influence on my life and I had become a negative influence on his. Once we weren’t able to be lame college kegger guys together, it exposed our friendship… or lack thereof.

In the end, whatever happens is for the better. If a guy is willing to cause drama and threaten the friendship over a random girl… then maybe you should question the value of the friendship.