Believe it or not, PUA game isn’t universal. It’s based heavily on the English speaking world: US, UK and Australia. It was invented by this part of the world, based on the women in this part of the world… and unfortunately, straying too far out of it leaves you screwed pretty quickly. But this is good, it’s always good to be exposed to as many pick up situations and cultures as possible… the idea is that it will make you as good as possible overall.

Argentinian women are a full step up from those in the US in terms of looks. They tend to be very skinny and often have much bigger tits than would seem normal for women that thin. Height can be an issue, as can the faces… but all in all, the average Argentinian girl is a full point higher than the average American in my opinion.

This is probably all the motivation you need to become interested in going and partying there. But throw on top the fact that cost of living is maybe 1/3 of what it is back home, and the fact that the nightlife regularly goes until 5-6AM every night, and you have a recipe for pick up heaven, right? Especially if you know Spanish… right?

Eh… it’s a bit more complicated. I’ll be honest to a fault here: Buenos Aires kicked my ass. For the amount of time, effort and energy I put into picking up girls down here, my results probably would have been triple in the States. That’s not an exaggeration: 22-23 nights in the last month, all of which lasted 6-8 hours.

Unfortunately, from a pick up perspective, BA is not all that it’s cracked up to be… in fact, it’s actually deceiving in that it’s not even that great. First of all, the clubs, while going off almost every night of the week, suffer from a lack of quantity. Either they’re stuffed with tourists, or they’re empty, or their ratios are awful (3-to-1 and even 4-to-1 were not uncommon). At first, we thought we just didn’t know the right places… but it didn’t get that much better when we DID get to the right places.

The other problem is that Argentinian culture is notoriously stand-offish and reserved. Every foreigner I talked to from Brazilians to Colombians to Mexicans to Germans complained about this. Argentina is also much more of a social circle culture. This actually explains the horrible ratios at the clubs. Girls only go with a group of friends. The only people who DON’T go with groups of friends are other guys looking to pick up girls. Which reminds me, the guys here are insanely aggressive. It’s not uncommon to literally wait in a queue for a girl to finish blowing 2-3 other guys out before you go and take your turn at her.

The way to go is day game, the casual bars, and social events like tango classes and house parties. Work your way into a social circle, and then hit the club with them. That’s really the only consistent way my friends and I were successful. Even splurging for tables yielded nothing but girls hunting for cocaine.

It sucks that it took me over an entire month to figure this out. Looking back, I was trying to shove my classic American-style PUA game into a completely foreign culture and set of standards. I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, and as a result, I just beat my head against the wall incessantly. It’s no surprise that out of the few girls I DID succeed on picking up, all were Brazilian, British or American. Only one was Argentinian.

If you get out of Buenos Aires, the people (read: girls) become much, much friendlier… I only went to Mendoza. The quality was a step down, the quantity and ratios were just as bad, but I don’t remember getting blown out there once. Once you get out of the mega-cities, people become enamored with your foreign status, whereas in the mega-city they think you’re just another gringo schmuck there for cheap drugs and hookers.

Everything I’ve read and heard points me to Cordoba. Better quality, quantity and nicer people. I can’t say for sure. But next time I’m in South America, I’ll be sure to hit it.

The other factor of this experience is the massive amount of rejection I’ve had to live through again. I have to say, having a girlfriend for two years was nice and cozy. And even beyond that, picking up in the US, I rarely ever have to experience more than 2-3 blow outs in a single night. And it’s REALLY rare to suffer more than 10 in any given week without getting laid at some point.

Argentina was brutal in this regard… Mainly because of the language barrier, partly because of the cultural differences, partly because of the god-awful ratios everywhere, but it was blow out city… for me and every guy I winged with over the months. As I wrote last week, it has been dearly humbling, and has actually made me take a long hard look at myself in terms of dealing with rejection.

Even when I was a newbie, I never got rejected a whole lot. But getting blown out 8-10 times in a in a row is fucking rough. Now do it every night for 3-4 nights, and it’s easy to get pretty upset. And although I’ve seen students go through it for years, I never truly appreciated how rough it actually is. It’s making me think that maybe I’m not nearly as good at dealing with rejection as I thought. And for how bummed out/frustrated I became, it made me examine my motives and my needs a little bit more closely. Why am I STILL taking this shit personally? I know it’s a crap-shoot over and over and a complete joke in that the girl is literally judging me within seconds based on some shitty Spanish I blurt out… but it still fucking sucks. I have no idea why.

All in all though, what I’m hoping (and thinking) the outcome is going to be, is that I’m going to go back to the US and shit’s going to be easy… like stupid easy. Like, “I can do this shit blindfolded” easy. Vamos a ver…

From my posts in the last month a lot of guys have emailed me with the impression that I’ve been killing it here in South America. Yes, I’ve been getting laid and hooking up, but compared to the amount of time and effort and blow-outs, it’s been one long exercise in humility.

I’ve been going out 5-6 nights a week, often up to eight hours in one night. If I put in this much time and effort in the US, I’d probably have 6-8 lays this month.

For a long time, I’ve felt like I’m pretty good at dealing with rejection and blow outs. But this has really tested that, and I’ve actually found myself pretty frustrated some nights. In the US, it’s been a long time since I’ve had to deal with more than 2-3 blow outs in a single night. Typically, I know if I go through 5-10 sets, I’m going to eventually get laid by one of them.

Not here. It’s been brutal at times. 12-15 blow outs and/or flakes in a row seems to be standard affair if you’re avoiding tourists. I think most people are tempted to jump on the “Country X is super hard to pick up a girl in,” or the “Country Y is much harder than Country Z” bandwagons. But I actually think there’s a much more universal effect going on that has little or nothing to do with specific nationalities and cultures.

The more I travel, the more I realize that cultural differences and perceptions are blown out of proportion and that these struggles everyone experiences really boil down to basic and fundamental factors.

The truth is that every country I’ve been in where they aren’t native English speakers, it mostly comes down to pre-selection. If there’s a language barrier, ANY language barrier, then you become a slave to pre-selection. And as a slave to pre-selection, the reactions to your approaches are going to be far more hot/cold than they are at home… and mostly cold.

What I mean by pre-selection is that a certain percentage of women in the country you’re visiting will be naturally interested in you and your culture, but most will be neutral. The ones who are neutral, will not have the patience to overcome the language barrier with you, whereas the ones who are interested in you will be excited to.

To use here in Argentina as an example. Being an American in a lot of these clubs, a large common perception of me tends to be: young, rich American guy on vacation… in a club… probably here for cheap drugs and/or prostitutes. Unfortunately, this is the perception of a lot of “party gringos” visiting down here. These women immediately want nothing to do with me — blow out.

Next, you have the girls who are neutral about American guys. I talk to them, and despite my Spanish being very good now, communicating well can still be a struggle and take a lot of effort, especially in a loud club. As a result, these sets either go nowhere after a while (as I’m far less witty and spontaneous in Spanish) or she simply has no patience for trying to listen to my accent over the music, so she leaves after five seconds.

Then, finally you have the pre-selected minority. The girls who love American culture (usually our music), like my “rocker” look which is practically non-existent down here, and usually have studied English in school, if not traveled abroad. These girls immediately become excited to meet me and usually (almost always) want to immediately practice their English on me.

These girls, once you find them, become very easy — again, they’re already enthralled by my culture, so as an extension of that, I have to do very little to gain attraction — but again, the hard part is finding them. In some clubs and bars, they’re practically non-existent.

So the result?  You get strings of 15, 20, even 30 sets in a row that lead absolutely nowhere, are full of awkward situations, or are demoralizing rejections.

This makes sense though. If you reverse the situation, I think I’d be the same way. For instance, if I was in a club in NYC, and I met a Japanese girl who spoke very poor English, I’d probably have little patience or interest in sticking with her for more than a couple minutes. I have little to no interest in her culture and am not willing to struggle through her bad English and put up with all of the awkward situations it will create (this is assuming she’s not smoking hot of course).

But in the same club, let’s say I met a Colombian girl. I like Latin women a lot. I speak Spanish. I’ve traveled all throughout Central and South America. Bam… she’s immediately a +1 in my book and I’m probably going to be even more interested in her than I would be in a random American girl for the night.

This is also creates the perception that the women in your home country (typically the US, Aussieland or some European country) are far easier than any other country. No, you just don’t have to deal with language barriers or cultural pre-selection. Personally, I’ve found the UK to be the easiest country for me — as I imagine most other English-speakers will find the US to be their easiest country. Why? Again, cultural pre-selection. English-speaking peoples love each other’s cultures and that just greases the wheels when it comes to meeting each other’s women.

From what I can tell in every country I visit, this pre-selection factor is 100 times more important than any perceived cultural difference. People always make a huge deal about cultural differences, but I’ve really found that once you get a girl in a one-on-one conversation, they’re all more or less similar. Sure, South American women are a little pruder, but they also don’t play head games or cockblock each other. Sure, European women (continental; Western) are generally more polite and friendlier, but they also expect a little more investment before they bang you.

But in the end, these differences are minuscule compared to the glaring fact: to do well in another country, she either needs to be very interested in your culture, or you need to speak her language fluently. Otherwise, prepare for the oncoming humbling.

If you have questions you want answered, pickup-related or otherwise, serious or humorous, personal or philosophical, anything, feel free to email them to me at: entropy@practicalpickup.com or leave it as a comment to this post.

Could you possibly tell us what you learned from those 2 naturals? Could you interview them?

- Anonymous

My first natural friend — the one who helped me get good exceedingly fast — had more dominance than anyone I’ve ever met. His frame and inner game was generally impenetrable. As a result, him going direct was just lethal. No matter how the girl reacted, he wouldn’t back down or be phased.

The second one I met about a year ago. Most of the deep comfort and connection stuff you read about from me was inspired by him. When I met him, the stuff he talked about I couldn’t even fathom before (getting girls to cry tears of joy while talking to him, etc.).

The first one I have lost touch with as he moved to Florida a year or two ago. The second one I still keep in periodic email contact with, although we don’t talk about pick up much anymore.

The first one I doubt I could ever interview. The second one, I have about 75-100 pages worth of email exchange on the subject of pickup with that I may do something with one day (he’s given me permission). These were all long emails (some as long as 20 pages) and very involved. It’s advanced content, but the content of those emails trumps most products I’ve ever seen. Many of the “new” ideas that I’ve had on this blog were inspired by him.

Is it healthy to take rejection and roll it off and laugh about it? Or to take it and work on yourself to get better ?

- Broken Dreams NYC

Ideally, the answer would be both. We all get rejected, so we all need to deal with it. I would say in the moment you get rejected, it’s never bad to laugh it off. Getting rejected sucks, and anything you can do to keep your spirits up in the moment is worthwhile.

I think down the road you need to analyze the situation and fix whatever caused the rejection. What I typically do and tell students is wait until the next day. For instance, if you go out Friday night, I wait until Saturday to think about all my sets and analyze everything or journal/write field reports. Sleeping on it detaches your emotions from it and gives you perspective. There are a lot of times that I would be upset about bombing with some girl and then I’d wake up the next day and not care anymore and actually be able to objectively figure out what I did wrong.

You wrote: “Some guys are simply horrible at instituting new behaviors. They don’t know how to change themselves. Other guys are horribly un-disciplined. A lot of guys don’t hold themselves to high standards, or have poor beliefs about themselves.”

Ok, that’s me. Is there an answer beyond “get some balls?”

- Pure Win

Yes. There is something fundamental, deep down, and probably emotional, that’s holding you back. Starting probing yourself for WHY you don’t want to improve, why you believe shitty stuff about yourself, why you don’t push yourself. I guarantee it’s a deep, underlying emotional issue that you haven’t resolved. Look into therapy if you have trouble.

How do you handle mixed sets? I have read various things on approaching mixed sets, and it appears some folks take the go directly to the girl vs. befriend everyone and then work the target angle. Personally, I prefer to approach the target and then work on the friends. And pointers for working mixed sets?

Keep up the killer posts!
- TR

Well, I don’t really know the “official” way to do mixed sets, but I’ll tell you how I do them.

- If there are more guys then girls, I approach and befriend the guys first and find out how they all know each other.
- If there are more girls than guys and the guys look like a bunch of pushovers — i.e., dorky work friends who have no chance at dating any of the girls — I approach the girls directly. I’ve noticed in these situations, when girls are with what you would call “beta” (I fucking hate that term) males, if you approach confidently and dominate the conversation, these guys will just kind of slink into the background. They don’t really need to be befriend other than for logistical reasons.
- If there are more girls than guys, but the guys don’t look like pussies — i.e., if he looks like he could actually be fucking at least one of the girls — I may approach the girls or him (depends on situation I guess), but I make a point to befriend him and figure out his logistical situation within the group. For instance, if he’s obviously gaming one girl, I’ll respect him by going for the other.

Mixed sets make a lot of guys nervous. The truth is, 90% of guys are harmless as long as you’re respectful to them. Often all it takes is a handshake and introduction to disarm an AMOG.

Guys who are shorter or smaller are going to always have a harder time with other guys. If you’re a bigger guy, you’ll just about never get AMOG’d, ever.

A very gung-ho newbie posted saying he set a challenge for himself as far as approaching goes. He wanted to do 100 approaches in ONE DAY.

Quickly, ask yourself, think of the last 100 approaches you’ve done and how long has it taken? A week? A month? Six months? Maybe even a year? Maybe you’ve never even done 100 approaches. There’s one message board (won’t name names) that treats 100 approaches as a year-long challenge (which few guys ever meet — talk about low expectations).

So, predictably, a lot of other guys posted and commented saying, “hey man, you may want to try something a bit easier, approaching is really hard at first, etc.” But the newbie was adamant, he was going to do it that weekend.

He goes out and comes back to report on his challenge. Only 16 approaches. Extremely disappointed in himself. But then again, when was the last time YOU did 16 approaches in one day? I don’t know if I’ve EVER done that many in one day, and my guess is most guys haven’t. For most guys, 5-10 a night is a good night.

But the newbie was disappointed, so he said he was going to go out the next day (Sunday) and try again.

How’d he do? 68 approaches. Towards the end he started having good conversations and actually got a few numbers.

Guys on the board start congratulating him for his determination and his balls. But wait. He’s still not happy. Next day, he’s trying again.

And the following day? 73 approaches. A lot of conversations. A lot of numbers. At this point he has enough phone numbers for him to call and get dates for the next two weeks. This is a guy who’s been active in the community for three days and he just improved more than most guys do in six months.

And guess what? He still didn’t reach his own expectations…

Which brings me to another question… why would you ever de-friend someone on Facebook? I understand people lose touch and many people on there weren’t ever really friends to begin with, but you met every single one at some point. I have tons of people friended who I don’t even remember who they are or how I know them. But I don’t de-friend them. There’s no point. That takes too much thought and effort.

I. The Law of Rejection: He Who Gets Rejected Gets Laid
II. The Law of Lifestyle: You’re Only As Attractive As Your Lifestyle
III. The Law of Aggression: Push Every Interaction to the Limits
IV. The Law of Sub-Communication: It’s Not What You Say But WHY You Say It
V. The Law of Connection: You Can Only Share What You Know
VI. The Law of Relationships: Setting and Managing Expectations
VII. The Law of Inertia: Every Habit Requires Repetition

There’s an elephant in the room of the PUA community. Very few guys talk about it, yet everybody experiences it… A LOT. It’s rejection. And for a subject so largely ignored, your success hinges on few things more than how well you deal with it.

I’m about to say something you don’t want to hear. It’s anathema to everything we stand for and hold dear. But pick up really boils down to a numbers game.

Yeah, I said it. And it’s true.

The only sure-fire way to succeed and get laid often is by approaching an ASSLOAD of sets.

Those awesome routines you memorized? They might take you from 1% success to 3%.
That cool new haircut? From 3% to 4%.
New wardrobe? Makeover? look like a goddamn rock star? From 4% to 5%.

Even the most weathered veterans and gurus bat a meager 10-20%. And if you account for pre-selection (more on that below), and difficulty of venues, you’re looking at more like 7-8% against the most high value women. (Note: these are all just estimates based on what some guys have posted in the past. No, I don’t have references. This isn’t a goddamn thesis.)

Think about it for a second. What else in this world can you be considered not just good, but GREAT at for failing nine times out of ten? If you missed 90% of your shots in basketball, no one would let you near a court. If you failed 90% of your exams in school, you wouldn’t make it a semester.

Those rejections add up fast. They take a hefty toll on everyone’s self-esteem. This is a brutal sport we’re engaging in — only the strongest can weather the storm of consistent rejection and keep on trying. It’s sexual selection, which literally translates to survival of the fittest.

Can you handle that night when three straight sets blow you out HARD? Are you able to not take it personally? What about going home four nights in a row without a single number? These are the things newbies have to look forward to but nobody tells them about. This shit is HARD. It will take your ego and beat it into the fucking ground night after night with no apologies.

It’s the guys — no, men — who can stand up to that abuse and keep trying that end up succeeding. Why? Because they’re sexually selected. They have the tenacity, flexibility and pure drive to break through, and these are the men that women are inevitably attracted to.

A lair leader in a large city told me once that over 90% of the guys who joined were gone within six months. Of that minority who stay, only a small handful ever truly get good. Nobody tells you this when you find the community.

In the end, your success will come down to how well you weather rejection. If you can’t handle it, you’ll find a reason to quit, you’ll create limiting beliefs that will bar you from any real progress, and you’ll become a keyboard jockey. (Note: If you have more posts on any single PUA forum than you have opened sets in your entire life, you are a keyboard jockey. Just had to get that out.)

But the most common way guys slink away from rejection lies in something called pre-selection. I do it. You do it. Everyone who I’ve ever met in the community does it to some extent. It’s where you pick your targets from afar. This is where retarded claims like “I can go five for five” come from (lame marketing ploys, by the way). Guys wait and see which girls give them eye contact first. Or they’ll dress like Marilyn Manson and stand in a goth club until they’re opened. Or they’ll wait around for a lone wolf or an easy two-set. They’ll go for the drunk HB6’s instead of the HB10 with three guys standing around her. Why? Because it’s easier. We’re ALL guilty of this. And it stems from the same cause: fear of rejection.

How are we to improve without thrusting ourselves in front of the screeching headlights of rejection? Subjecting ourselves to these painful possibilities is what ultimately forces us to grow. This is what us more experienced guys are naive to. We get comfortable in our old habits. HB8 SNL’s are like clockwork to us, so we do little more than show up and collect our reward (once again, I’m guilty party numero uno here).

So why not try that HB10 with three guys around her? Or try that posh club with deafening house music and a $40 cover instead of the same hometown bar you’ve been wrecking for months? Push yourself. Throw yourself to rejection and learn to love the pain.

Studies have shown that being rejected by another human being activates the exact same neurons in our brains as physical pain does. You go to the gym because it’s good for you. No pain, no gain, right? Condition yourself to love psychological pain. Tear your own ego to shreds. It’s the only path to progress.