My buddy Bobby Rio (from http://www.tsbmag.com) has had the hookups for years in the Dominican Republic, and last summer started this event which was totally off the hook.

This year, he’s recruited myself and Rob Judge (http://www.datehottergirls.com) as well as 8-10 guys learning pick up to hit the DR and party it up like rockstars. We stay in a druglordish villa on a tropical beach, we party it up VIP style every night, all food and expenses are taken care of, and Bobby’s got the hook ups so that there will be 10+ hot girls in the pool WHEN WE ARRIVE.

This event is all about having fun with beautiful women and relaxing first and foremost. Having a bunch of awesome wingmen and getting free advice from the coaches is just a side perk. Oh, and the beach isn’t bad either.

Last year, every single guy on the trip got laid — some even laid more than one girl. Basically, we spend all day partying by the pool with the girls. And then at night we hit the clubs VIP-style and bring back even more girls to the house. Rinse and repeat.

There’s even a complimentary white water rafting trip thrown in to scare the hangover out of you.

This trip is non-profit — the coaches and Bobby make little to no profit off of it. Every dollar is put towards expenses for the group and more partying.

Testimonials:

If you’re interested, here’s what you need to know:

• It’s August 12-15.
• All expenses covered.
• Get to hang out with two professional PUA instructors and spend the week winging with them.
• Complimentary white water rafting trip.
• Bobby’s arranged for some of his girl friends from last year to be IN THE POOL when we get there. So yes, HOT GIRLS ARE GUARANTEED.
• This is open to ANYBODY. Any skill level. This is NOT a bootcamp, but a great way for like-minded guys to get together on a beach and party our faces off, while learning about pick up on the side.

The running price for this was going to be over $1,575+ per person (not counting airfare). But Bobby’s told me that I can personally bring three guys for a $1,200 discount price.

That’s $1,200 for an all-expenses-paid, all-inclusive, VIP partying, pussy-palace-living, pick-up-fest, in one of the most beautiful locations in the world.

If you want in, shoot me an email me at entropy@practicalpickup.com. There are guys flying in from as far as England and Germany for this, so it’s going to go fast. My guess is I’ll have my three guys within a few days.

More Info:

• http://www.tsbmag.com/wingman-weekend-retreat/
• http://honeyandlance.com/mansformation-w…estimonial

At this point, after spending a significant amount of time in all of the major cities in the western world, and meeting a significant amount of the coaches from around the industry, something occurred to me. This occurred to me after going out in London — I was taken aback by their seeming worship of “posh” and how the pretension in their clubs revolving around status is probably only rivaled by LA.

And here’s what I noticed: look at all the guys who are insanely good from London (AFC Adam, Beckster, Extraction Tim) and all of them were/are top promoters, are socially networked out the ass, and play the social status card hard for big success.

By the same token, all of the great guys from New York City (Brad P, 60 Years of Challenge, Rob Judge) have styles that involves escalating extremely hard and fast. Brad P has his “blow me or blow me out,” as well as 20 minute bathroom pulls, 60 with his “escalation is attraction” and Rob Judge mauls girls with a startling amount success.

All of the “routine” methods of pick up (Love Systems, Mystery, Style, Mehow) all come from southern California. Much of the inner game only/authenticity styles of game (AMP, Sean Messenger, Pickup101) come out of San Francisco. Guys in Vegas — Nick Quick, Epik, Start Being — all shit on ideas of comfort game or inner game and focus on pumping the girl’s buying temperature — to which I say, well, no shit, you’re in Vegas. The coaches from Dallas a few years ago (Sinn, El Topo, Captain Jack) all focused on sexual framing and qualification.

I could go on and on… Even Vin DiCarlo and I (both from Boston) have a similar analytical style in which we calibrate our game around connecting with each woman’s specific personality. This also struck me, as being back in Boston… it just feels easy again. Like I’m unconsciously wired to pick up women in Boston and so I have to try 50% as hard here as other places.

There may be something to it. There may not. But food for thought.

How much of success is inner game and how much is outer game? A lot of people say all you need is inner game, which makes sense to me. What else do you say to a guy whose whole reality is “I’m bad with women?”

That he’s probably right and needs to fix some basic things about himself. Anyone who knows me knows that the whole “inner game only” trend drives me absolutely nutty because I think it’s wrong, wrong, wrong. A guy with bad outer game and great inner game will never get laid. A guy with great outer game and bad inner game will get laid all the time — he’ll just lay low quality girls and not be able to keep them around or be happy.

No matter how awesome the shit going on inside your head is, it’s just that: going on inside your head. All a woman ever experiences is your outer game.

If you want to change a guy’s reality that is “I’m bad with women,” then you change it by giving him good outer game first. Fixing your inner game is a luxury of those who already have outer game. I’ve never understood why having this reality is such a bad thing if the guy never gets girls. If you never get girls, then it’s true and you should face it. The problem begins when you meet a guy with 200+ lays who says the same thing: “I’m bad with women.” To have a newbie virgin deny this reality is just shooting himself in the foot. It reminds me of the RSD monkeys I’ve coached who walk around clubs shouting out, “MY GAME IS A 10!” in between getting blown out 11 times in a row… They’re not doing themselves any favors… just deluding themselves from the painful reality: they have a lot of work to do.

Also, second question: how much is just dumb luck? Every guy I talk to with a high lay count has a couple stories that are just lucky.

Or quite a lot of stories… the more experience I get, the more I realize how much is out of our control (And hers too sometimes) and is just dumb luck. I can usually judge a guy’s experience-level these days based on how aware he is of how much luck is involved. It’s always the guys who tell me with a straight face that they’re practicing cold approach threesomes, or that they’re currently working on their bathroom lay technique that I immediately assume have no idea what they’re doing but think they do because they have like 20 lays or something. There’s no technique… you just find a really fucking horny girl (the luck), escalate fast (the skill) and then drag her to the bathroom. She either goes with you or doesn’t… no technique involved.

For instance, when I first came into the community, I was sold on the idea (marketing) that we could control 90-100% of our fate with a certain girl. When I got out into field, I soon realized that was probably much more like 50%. After I banged a few dozen girls and had some ultra-wacky and crazy experiences under my belt, I realized it was a minority, probably 30%.

These days, I honestly think, even when you include all the inner game stuff, the social circle stuff, the lifestyle stuff, on top of all of the mechanics and techniques… we’re talking 20% control of our own fate with any particular girl — and that’s probably still a HUGELY generous estimate — come to South America some time and see how much control you have over the interactions…

Fact remains, the absolute best thing you can do to get laid or get girls, is to just go out and meet as many women in as many situations as possible. Everything you learn, study, practice, think about, etc. is completely supplementary. Give me an average guy will all the pick up theory and skills who goes out twice a week, and give me an average guy who is clueless and goes out five times a week, and the guy who goes out five times will (usually) have better results in the long-run… There are just far, far, far too many intangible and extraneous forces that you can’t learn about until you’ve been forced to face them. I think really the difference between a guy who’s amazing with women and a guy who isn’t is a 90% fail rate versus a 99% fail rate. It doesn’t sound like much, but over the course of 100 sets a month, it adds up very fast.

It’s only when you’re going out all the time that that 20% advantage theory gives you adds up over time. If you’re not putting yourself out there consistently, then there’s nothing anybody can do for you.

As always, field is king.

Leaving is bittersweet and I have a lot of thoughts about the city and Argentina in general, but I’ll save those for a post tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m grateful that I got to live with a good friend of mine, and hang out with some really awesome people — Argentinian, British, American, Israeli, etc. In particular, there were a handful of high-roller American dudes who have been down here visiting at various times that were a blast to party with. These guys were all a fucking riot and in combination with the absolutely degenerate and non-stop night-life down here, a lot of hilarious quotes and situations occurred. So, in homage to this fucking insane city, I present some of the highlights below.

Buenos Aires, I bid you adieu… much love, but fuck you, I’m going to Cordoba next time.

———————————————————

Entropy: “I thought she was kinda cute with her little accent… well, except for that whole desperate whore thing…”

Entropy: “Out of all of us, why do all the trannies come and talk to me?”
Charlie: “Because you’re the only one taller than them…”

Argentinian Girl: “Do you want to go to an after party?”
Entropy: “You realize most people are going to work right now, right?”
Argentinian Girl: “It starts at 9AM.”

Jon (to me): “Don’t you hate it when you’re trying to have a spiritual experience with a girl, and she asks you for cocaine?”

Cruise (on the phone talking to someone): “Yeah, Anthony couldn’t make it out tonight… He was puking at like 8PM… No, no, he was just still drinking from the night before…”

Taxi Driver: “You guys want some cocaine?”
Us: “No, thanks.”
Taxi Driver: *Shrugs* “More for me…” *Pulls out his stash and does a line while speeding down the highway with his knees*
Jason: “We’re going to die tonight, aren’t we?”
Entropy: “Welcome to Argentina, buddy.”

*Walking, holding hands with an Argentinean girl on the street, little kid comes up to me and begs for change*
Entropy: “No, kid. Sorry…”
Kid: “Please, sir.”
Entropy: “Sorry, I have no money.”
Kid: “If you can pay for her, then you can pay for me…”
Girl: *Hits kid with her bag* “FUCK OFF!”

*Club bouncer screws us over, and ends up asking for over double the cover from us because we’re gringos. We get upset and decide to leave.*
Jason: “Doesn’t he realize we are ‘Fuck You’ rich?”
Entropy: “What’s ‘Fuck You’ rich?”
Jason: “When you have enough money to get anyone fired… where’s the club owner? Fuck this guy. I’ve got an AMEX.”
(Note: We did not, in fact, get the bouncer fired. And Jason was not, in fact, ‘Fuck You’ rich… just very drunk.)

Toryn: “Gentlemen, under principle, I refuse to take part in a porn site that I would not jerk off to myself.”

Weird American Girl: “You have no books in your room!”
Entropy: “Yeah, I just moved in last week.”
Weird American Girl: “Oh my God, I don’t think I can sleep with a guy with an empty bookshelf.”

Jason (asking Toryn to translate): “Tell her that my penis, while not big, is quite rich.”

*An old prostitute, probably in her 40’s, approaches Barrett and I*
Prostitute (in Spanish): “I want you two.”
Entropy (in Spanish): “No thanks.”
Prostitute: “At same time” *points at us*
Entropy (in Spanish): “No thanks.”
Barrett: “Wait, at least ask her how much…”
Entropy (in Spanish): “How much?”
Prostitute (in Spanish): “200 pesos.” (Equivalent to about $50US)
Entropy: “She says 200 pesos. That’s like $25US each. I don’t know, man. She’s pretty busted.”
Barrett: “Yeah, but you can buy a pizza for more than that…”
Entropy: “I think I respect the pizza more than I respect her.”
Barrett: “True… Tell her we’ll get back to her…”
(Note: Despite getting quite a bit more drunk, we did not double team a gross hooker for the price of two large pepperoni pizzas.)

1. First, and most obvious point of the speech was described expertly by a commenter — that we’re a slave to our thoughts and our own perspective. Day in and day out, whether conscious or not, we choose what to focus on and what to think about. Most of us do this unconsciously and as a result, we live in on an auto-pilot of selfishness and negativity. Wallace points out that by simply being mindful enough to a) become aware of our present reality, b) admit that we know little or nothing at any given time about said reality, and c) choose to assume the best and choose positive, unobtrusive thoughts, is the key to surviving a rather dull, banal and repetitive existence which — let’s admit — we all end up living.

This idea is by no means new. Anyone who’s practiced Zen or studied other forms of Buddhism will be very familiar with it. The concept of awareness, or presence, or “simply being” or egoless perspective comes up all the time in self help and spiritual teachings. But I’ll get to this in a minute.

2. There’s a second and deeper point that raised a lot of confusion and questions from readers, and I think this is the concept of “worship” he speaks of towards the end. The idea that as humans, we are by default programmed to worship SOMETHING — be it religion or power, vanity or morality — and that again, if we retain the awareness and presence to consciously choose what to worship, we can avoid a lot of pain and suffering.

This is kind of a deeper corollary to the first point, but I think it has much wider implications. The key phrase for me is one that is kind of glossed over with all of his talk about vanity, beauty, religion, etc.

“They’re the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that’s what you’re doing.”

I think this makes an easier translation to pick up and self help terms, as we talk about the idea of “value” all the time — give value, create value, demonstrate value, raise your value, etc.

But basically, what he’s saying is that a product of this “choosing what to focus on,” is also choosing what to value. It means all of our measurements for success, value and significance are chosen by us. Many people measure their value in terms of how much money they make, how attractive they are, how popular they are, how many women they sleep with, or how well they abide by some sort of morality or religion.

But again, the downfall of all of these measurements of value, is that they can suffer from the arrogance of certainty. Certainty of a reality, a lowercase-T truth. People who unconsciously value themselves on money or power, will become certain of their superiority or need to dominate; those people who worship vanity and fame will become condescending and demanding, etc.

Again, this comes back to the Buddhist concept of “not knowing” — a concept that paradoxically, in and of itself is worshiped and valued.

“Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. The only thing that’s capital-T True is that you get to decide how you’re gonna try to see it.”

What I think Wallace is saying is that we all end up defining value and our reality for ourselves, so the most important skill we can develop is the wherewithal to always choose wisely.

3. Which brings me to why I love this speech so much. Wallace go through enormous pains to consistently remind us that he’s not proselytizing, that’s he’s not giving a moral sermon, that he’s not even telling anyone what to think, choose or do — in fact, the whole speech is about how we ALL are responsible how we think and and perceive reality. It’s OUR responsibility… he’s simply making observations about the state we all live in.

It’s philosophical observation — the original self help. Which brings me to my qualms with a lot of the modern self help genre and why I’ve always felt uneasy with it, even when I felt it was giving me decent advice.

The whole notion behind self help — that someone of some undefined authority is now going to impart superior information onto me — in and of itself implies an arrogance of certainty: here’s what to value, here’s the measurement of success, here’s what to worship. Despite all of the best intentions, I think this sabotages the whole purposes of the industry. How can you help someone to take responsibility for their own thoughts and awareness by giving them the proper thoughts and awareness?

I’m going to pick on Eckhart Tolle, not because I think he’s a bad guy, but he’s the name that gets bandied about the community more than anyone else.

The Power of Now was a decent book. I personally have a lot of history with Zen Buddhism and philosophy, so none of it was really eye-popping or anything for me. What rubbed me wrong about it was the subtle, yet implied notion that his lowercase-T truth was somehow superior than my own or anyone’s. And I don’t mean Tolle said so much or even thought that himself… I’m just saying that it’s implied. You go out and pay $19.95 for a book that’s supposed to make your life better. That, by its very definition, is a presentation of an arrogance of certainty — it gives you a new yardstick to measure value and a new concept to worship: be in the present, be in the now.

But again, there’s nothing mentioned about having the conscious awareness to CHOOSE your yardstick or what you worship. You just take it on authority, like you did everything else in your life. But here’s something to chew on: what if everyone experiences “enlightenment” differently? What if your path or my path is so estranged and distant from Tolle’s, that there’s little to no common ground.

Or even if the experience of “enlightenment” IS universal, any attempt to convey that experience inevitably gets lost in both his filter of reality and the reader’s. This has also always been my problem with many spiritual practices: spirituality and higher consciousness, by it’s very definition is something experienced. The second you convey it, you lose it. It’s like trying to give someone an orgasm by writing a book about it.

The same is true for pick up. I can write 500 pages about my experiences, my analysis and my recommendations with women, but your experiences can and probably will always be quite different than mine. And any time you take my advice and use it, there’s an implication of authority, of certain and even of arrogance… that I somehow I am more aware of a certain reality than you, my grateful reader.

In the end, we’re all operating beneath inescapable filters. What David Foster Wallace is saying is that while we all tend to believe what is coming THROUGH our filter is Truth, the filter itself is the only Truth. It’s the only certainty… that we choose how to digest reality and experience however we choose. And no matter how aligned our values, goals and dreams may be with one another, they’re always just perceptions of a greater unknowable reality — an idealized certainty in a vast infinity of “not knowing.”

This freaks some people out. But if you rest with it, what you end up with is humility and respect. The recognition that all you really know, is that you don’t really know anything… And suddenly, the crowded grocery store becomes light and dancing; the self help guru ceases to be an authority of truth and is rather yet another reference experience — another item to perceive, acknowledge and integrate if you so choose; the girl who blows you out becomes another emotional expression of human interaction, the relationship had and lost becomes another ebb and flow of life; and any reason for fear or anger subsides to a deeper comfort and joy.

“That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.”

This state is what many self help gurus, New Age spiritual figures and RSD monkeys are always prattling on about — but you’ll never find it in a book, a seminar, a DVD-set or a bootcamp. No one can force you to be in this state. You’ll only find it by searching your own “skull-sized kingdom,” by constantly reminding yourself — YES YOU, THAT MEANS YOU, NOT A BOOK — constantly reminding yourself, day in, day out: “This is water… This is water…” And in my life, David Foster Wallace has been the one of the only people I’ve ever come across who can enunciate this with such painful clarity and elegance. For that, I’m grateful for him.

Vote here

- My knee-jerk reaction to these kind of “celebrity-gate” stories when they happen is always a disinterested, “who cares?” I don’t really understand why everybody gets such a thrill out of digging into some guy’s personal problems and personal business. I have about 1521 more important things to worry about in my life, so I tend to focus on those, and the constant distractions of, “OMG, HE WAS SNORING WHEN THEY FOUND HIM,” flashing everywhere gets tiring very quickly.

- I will never understand the conventional wisdom that athletes, musicians and celebrities are somehow supposed to be held to the highest standard. This seems to exist mostly in the USA from what I can tell. We have this deranged desire to hold our public figures morally accountable TO US for THEIR personal problems and issues. We saw it with Bill Clinton. And now we see it with Tiger — people saying he should take a year off the tour, how he should cancel his endorsements, how he should issue a press conference, etc. When the fuck did we get this right? We forget that these guys are just humans too. I mean, over 1/3 of the US population will cheat on their spouse at some point — the world doesn’t stop for them. Why should it stop for Tiger? Because he can swing a golf club better than anybody else? That’s ridiculous.

The media’s argument for this is that our celebrities and athletes are “role models,” followed by some trite statement about the children and setting good examples, blah, blah, blah. Lil’ Wayne was once confronted with this argument in an interview where his private life came up. He responded, “If you need a celebrity to tell you how to live, maybe you shouldn’t have been born.” Amen.

- And finally, I guess the pick up related part of all of this: you have a billionaire golfer in his prime, he’s constantly traveling and meeting people, he’s one of the most famous people on the planet — is ANYBODY surprised that he was banging some hotties on the side? Seriously… I’d be more surprised if he wasn’t.

I really think what’s keeping this story alive is just how bizarre it is. Yeah, there’s a lot of parts of it that don’t make sense. But guess what? They don’t make sense because it’s a private matter, and they’re going to keep it that way… as it’s their right.

So move along… nothing to see here.