I don’t know what it is or why. But I consisently feel an obligation to approach sets when I genuinely don’t want to or don’t care anymore. In the winter I took a hiatus from gaming and soon after I converted one of my FB’s into a girlfriend. Ever since then, even when I’ve “returned” to game, I’ve felt no desire, no passion, no burning fire to fuck every hot girl in sight as I used to. I could never figure out why. I always figured that I was being a pussy or that I had created some fucked up limiting belief in my months off, but I think I finally realized tonight, it’s simply not there.

I have a beautiful girlfriend who is wonderful beyond what words could describe. I love her and she loves me. I haven’t felt this way since I was an AFC chode pussywhipped motherfucker. And that’s cool. I have a perfect open relationship with her. I have an occasional ONS. I have an occasional threesome. And I’m more than content.

Yet I feel obligated to do more.

This post kind of goes along with the post I made months ago, concerning the the value of PUA. Now that I’ve met some gurus, some of them seem to have this crazy desire — even though they’ve fucked over 100 girls, they go out as if they haven’t gotten laid in a year every night. I just don’t seem to have that.

On the one hand, I can lament me being a “pussy”. But I prefer to view it a different way. I’m pushing boundaries in other ways. I feel like relationship management, beyond being by far the most overlooked topic in the community, is possibly one of the most valuable. To any guy out there who has never had a steady girlfriend or been in love: get one. Do it. It’s possibly the most worthwhile experiences you can have.

Meeting the gurus and instructors of the community, there have been a variety of things that have surprised me, disgusted me and impressed me. But by far, the most disturbing and disappointing thing I’ve found is how most of the top teachers and instructors have never had a steady girlfriend before. They can’t even fathom, much less relate, to the deep, subtle and personal dynamics that occur within a sincere relationship.

For those of you who don’t know (or forgot), I technically live in a project. Although we began by living together a year ago with the aim to pick up girls constantly and push our games further, our living situation and friendships transformed to something more significant. One of my roommates, a few months ago had an FB who he deeply cared about pull “the ultimatum” on him. He was torn — as most of us pussy-hungry PUA’s often are — between his emotional draws and his social ambitions. After some reflection I told him he should do it. He had never been in a serious commited relationship, and despite all of the community dogma against “oneitis” and the subtle attacks on emotional responses, I felt that cherishing a relationship provided by far more education than any PUA lifestyle ever could.

His experiences have shown as much, and so have my own. Don’t ever forget that despite our goals to master social dynamics, we’re still subject to our human nature. We’re here to give ourselves better lifestyles, not to eliminate our lifestyle in the name of “progress” or “advancing our skill-set”. Because, really, what’s the point of all of this if you can’t find happiness?

We all arrived here because we came from a dark place. But we neglect leaving that dark place; we just defer it — we obsesses over opening the harder set, escalating faster, getting the threesome, doing the bathroom pull quicker, fucking that model — yet afterwards, we’re still in that same place.

It’s funny. Another guru recently commented to me amusingly that, “every guru that has a girlfriend somehow ends up dating a girl that’s not that hot.” After reflecting, it may not be a coincidence. It’s rarely the hottest girl that we meet who makes us the happiest. That’s a reality I sucked at accepting. Maybe it’ll be easier for you.

I have too many FB’s. I’ve gotten to the point where I can open, hook, pull and close 50-60% of 8’s and 9’s, and most of these girls hang around and fuck me over and over and over — sometimes for weeks, a couple for over a year now. The issue with this is that I’ve gone through periods of weeks where I don’t even sarge because I can just sit at home and call FB’s.

As I mentioned before in this blog, I want to take my game to the next level, the highest level. I want HB10’s. I want threesomes. I want models, strippers, actresses, whatever.

So how do I accomplish this? I want to go back and start over, go over each of the skills I originally learned, but instead of only becoming proficient in them, I want to focus on mastering them. This is the process I’ve loosely worked out in my head:

1. Keep no more than one steady FB, and one intermittent FB at any time. This way I should never be devoting more than one night each week to FB’s and I can concentrate more again on sarging.
2. Go back to approaching. Become an approach machine. Approach HB10’s, older women, younger women, rich women, whoever.
3. Every week, I can only call one new girl that I picked up that week. This will force me to continue perfecting opening, hooking and attraction game.

I’ll be satisfied when I feel like I could # close almost every set I open, whether an HB7 or an HB10.

The good news is Fish is doing Vin’s mastermind programs and so I’ll be able to use his challenges to go back and rework my game. The first one is to get six numbers in six days. So far, after one day, I have two.

Which brings me to the purpose of this blog. Awesome and Big have been telling me to get one for fucking ever now, but blogs have never been my thing — in the past they made me feel pretentious or self-centered or just gay. But I’ve decided to capitalize on the opportunity of Project BAB by pushing myself to the next level — whatever that level may be. For the greater part of of 2007 my skills have plateaued and interest waned (I’m not sure which one happened first). Part of the problem (if you can call it a problem) is that I reached the point where picking up and fucking a girl within a week became standard procedure and retaining girls as fuck buddies has become natural. I’ve gone through periods of months where I don’t even sarge anymore because on any given night I can pull up my phone and call one of three girls to come over.

But no more. I recognize my potential to go further with this. If I improved as much this school year as I did last school year, I believe I could approach (no pun intended) mPUA status — on par with the gurus and possibly even become an instructor for one of them.

The purpose of this blog is to help myself track my development and lay out goals for myself. It’s worth a shot I guess, and at least Awesome will shut the fuck up about it. So to wrap this up, the biggest weaknesses in my game right now:

1. Attracting HB10’s. I still get nervous and act AFC’ish around the HB10’s. No way to cure this but to push through it. Only problem is HB10’s are so rare and always have tons of orbiters.
2. Opening Heavily Mixed Sets. For some reason I still get intimidated by sets with a lot of guys in them. I need to work on opening the guys and then working my way to the target. I hear this isn’t so hard, but it’s definitely a mental barrier of mine.
3. Day-Game. I hear it’s easy, but I haven’t tried it since my first few months in PUA. This one should be easy to fix up.

After meditating on these current sticking points, I’ll make a post with strategies on attacking them.