Development, Inner Game, Personal - Tuesday, June 17, 2008 23:11 - 1 Comment

The Post-PUA Life

I didn’t plan on making this post until about thirty minutes ago. Mr. Awesome and I were out getting drunk celebrating the Celtics recent NBA championship and I felt the same feeling I’ve been feeling a lot recently: “I should be approaching.”

I don’t know what it is or why. But I consisently feel an obligation to approach sets when I genuinely don’t want to or don’t care anymore. In the winter I took a hiatus from gaming and soon after I converted one of my FB’s into a girlfriend. Ever since then, even when I’ve “returned” to game, I’ve felt no desire, no passion, no burning fire to fuck every hot girl in sight as I used to. I could never figure out why. I always figured that I was being a pussy or that I had created some fucked up limiting belief in my months off, but I think I finally realized tonight, it’s simply not there.

I have a beautiful girlfriend who is wonderful beyond what words could describe. I love her and she loves me. I haven’t felt this way since I was an AFC chode pussywhipped motherfucker. And that’s cool. I have a perfect open relationship with her. I have an occasional ONS. I have an occasional threesome. And I’m more than content.

Yet I feel obligated to do more.

This post kind of goes along with the post I made months ago, concerning the the value of PUA. Now that I’ve met some gurus, some of them seem to have this crazy desire — even though they’ve fucked over 100 girls, they go out as if they haven’t gotten laid in a year every night. I just don’t seem to have that.

On the one hand, I can lament me being a “pussy”. But I prefer to view it a different way. I’m pushing boundaries in other ways. I feel like relationship management, beyond being by far the most overlooked topic in the community, is possibly one of the most valuable. To any guy out there who has never had a steady girlfriend or been in love: get one. Do it. It’s possibly the most worthwhile experiences you can have.

Meeting the gurus and instructors of the community, there have been a variety of things that have surprised me, disgusted me and impressed me. But by far, the most disturbing and disappointing thing I’ve found is how most of the top teachers and instructors have never had a steady girlfriend before. They can’t even fathom, much less relate, to the deep, subtle and personal dynamics that occur within a sincere relationship.

For those of you who don’t know (or forgot), I technically live in a project. Although we began by living together a year ago with the aim to pick up girls constantly and push our games further, our living situation and friendships transformed to something more significant. One of my roommates, a few months ago had an FB who he deeply cared about pull “the ultimatum” on him. He was torn — as most of us pussy-hungry PUA’s often are — between his emotional draws and his social ambitions. After some reflection I told him he should do it. He had never been in a serious commited relationship, and despite all of the community dogma against “oneitis” and the subtle attacks on emotional responses, I felt that cherishing a relationship provided by far more education than any PUA lifestyle ever could.

His experiences have shown as much, and so have my own. Don’t ever forget that despite our goals to master social dynamics, we’re still subject to our human nature. We’re here to give ourselves better lifestyles, not to eliminate our lifestyle in the name of “progress” or “advancing our skill-set”. Because, really, what’s the point of all of this if you can’t find happiness?

We all arrived here because we came from a dark place. But we neglect leaving that dark place; we just defer it — we obsesses over opening the harder set, escalating faster, getting the threesome, doing the bathroom pull quicker, fucking that model — yet afterwards, we’re still in that same place.

It’s funny. Another guru recently commented to me amusingly that, “every guru that has a girlfriend somehow ends up dating a girl that’s not that hot.” After reflecting, it may not be a coincidence. It’s rarely the hottest girl that we meet who makes us the happiest. That’s a reality I sucked at accepting. Maybe it’ll be easier for you.