Development, Inner Game, Personal, Relationships - Tuesday, March 16, 2010 6:44 - 4 Comments

Re: Silent Majority

A lot of people in the comments have asked what “emotional realities” am I referring to when I mention how the hardcore segment of the PUA community is inspired to run away from them, rationalize them away, etc.

(If you didn’t read the article, you should: here)

This is actually an easier question than it may seem. It’s going to be different for every guy, but by FAR the most common deep emotional problems and fears that I come across in the PUA crowd are: ex-girlfriend or ex-wife that broke our heart and/or ruined us, divorced parents, death of a loved one, death of a parent, or just repeated emotional beatdowns growing up — whether it be growing up in the hood, being verbally abused by girls your entire childhood for being fat, etc., etc.

A lot of guys can relate to at least one of the above. I know I can.

Anyway, it’s painful to go back and deal with a lot of that. Some of it REALLY painful. And we don’t do it. We put it off for years. I came here and was motivated primarily by my ex-girlfriend of four years cheating on me and leaving me. That fucking hurt. I thought I got over it, but I didn’t get over it for years. And when I looked deeper, I just realized that that had just been irritating a deeper wound stemming from my divorced parents and family situation growing up. That one STILL hurts. And I think the circumstances in which I grew up in is the largest reason why I’ve dedicated so much time, effort, thought and emotion to picking up women.

It’s not normal. And I accept that.