1. Get Over Anxieties

- Social Anxiety: Approach regularly, relax into conversations, be able to build rapport consistently and easily.
- Sexual Anxiety: Be able to physically escalate, go for closes, talk sexually and fuck well.
- The only way to get over anxieties is by CONFRONTING THEM. People will use anything and everything to rationalize ways to avoid confronting their anxieties, the chief of which is inner game.

2. Balance Comfort and Attraction

- Attraction Heavy: A lot of guys are naturally attraction-heavy. They try too hard. They focus more on entertaining, joking, and excitement than actually connecting. They’re usually great at the first 5 minutes and bad at the rest. Girls flake on them constantly, give them tons of LMR, don’t stick around and are generally distrustful. These guys tend to have more sexual anxiety than social anxiety
- Comfort Heavy: Guys who are naturally comfort-heavy end up in the friend zone. They are more focused on connecting, building rapport, talking about life, experiences and genuine topics. They usually get blown out for being too boring and not expressive enough. They’re awful at the first 5 minutes but tend to be very good if a girl already likes them. They have trouble building attraction, but once they get it, girls rarely flake or give them LMR. These guys tend to have much more social anxiety than sexual anxiety.
- Balancing comfort and attraction is calibration. Every guy must learn to balance these two sides within themselves and also for each woman they talk to.
- Calibration is built through applying pick up theory through experience.

Side note: Most “naturals” are comfort-heavy guys who have some sort of natural attraction advantage. For instance, they’re good looking, in a rock band, nightclub promoter, etc. Their natural status or looks takes care of the attraction so they don’t ever have to.

Side note: Inner game is only useful inasmuch as it makes one aware of his anxieties and how to confront them.

That’s it.

1) The laws of passive/active attraction. This has been discussed ad nauseum on this blog in the last two months: here, here, and here. The cliff’s notes? Basically if a woman perceives you to ALREADY have more value than her, than you have to DLV yourself, compliment her and act “chodey” to get her. I just explained this in my calibration post and even provided examples! For anyone who thinks this guy is a “chode,” please go back and read all of those articles.

With that said, this guy is a BILLIONAIRE, well-connected, good-looking for his age (59), educated and probably smart as hell. His passive attraction is through the goddamn roof. Also, this woman most likely met him through a social circle and was probably already attracted to him. For this guy to do ANYTHING but write a sweet, emotional letter professing his feelings for her would be a mis-step.

2) For those of you who have listened to my audio course (downloadable from the front page), I make the point that attraction = value. Basically, we’re all attracted to what we find value in — this is true for men and women. For instance, if we value petty sex, we’ll be attracted to care-free party girls who are really hot. If we value emotional connection and a relationship, we’ll be more attracted to girls with character and personality. Aside from his billion dollars and his baseball team, this guy is demonstrating that he’s romantic, passionate and courageous (as she even points out). How many 30-year-old single women out there are looking for a rich man who’s romantic, passionate and successful? Uhh… practically all of them.

3) I tried to emphasize the point that at no point did he “give up his power” as Tyler Durden would say. This is a HUGE point for guys to understand about emotional connection, because most guys who get good at this automatically assume that anything that makes you emotionally vulnerable = chodey and needy. Not true. Pussies use their emotional vulnerability to because they’re putting the woman on a pedestal. This guy isn’t. He even says, “you don’t need to respond, I just wanted to let you know.” From an inner game perspective, he’s not being needy in the slightest, what he’s conveying is complete genuine interest — which, as we know, is one of the biggest turn-ons in a woman.

4) We need to remove the words “Chode” and “AFC” from our vocabulary. If there’s one point I’ve been constantly hammering home the last few months, it’s that “chodey” and “AFC” behavior works better than any PUA material if it’s used in the right situation and for the right reasons. There’s a reason 95% of the population uses it. I was recorded in-field by DJFuji last fall. I made out with a girl and pulled her and he commented the next day, “Dude, I don’t even know what you did. You barely said anything after you opened her. You like complimented her, bought her a drink and then took her home and fucked her.” It’s because if you have the right frame and aren’t needy, a lot of this “chodey” shit works like a charm. You just have to know when to use it.

Hopefully this makes more sense. I threw this up because this is an example contrary to typical PUA pick ups in a lot of ways. It’s good because it gets us thinking “outside the box.” And not only that, but if we’re going to have any theories about attraction and pick up, they need to be consistent in all situations, not just club skanks and college girls.

As always, ask me anything in the comments, or through email at entropy@practicalpickup.com.

Could you write about text message game sometime, Entropy? Like if a girl you’re into texts you a lot, whether its worth replying as much as she’s texting you, and when its a good idea to text or call after getting a number? I’d like to see your thoughts on it. Excellent blog, thanks for your thoughts!

- Tyler

Guys are usually disappointed when I tell them my text/phone game, as it’s painfully simple. For one, I hate phones, but also I really believe in just doing the bare minimum to get her out with you again.

First, to answer your questions: the general rule is you can reply up to as much as she’s texting you. If she’s texting you a lot, it’s always preferable for her to be texting more than you.

Secondly, I call the next day. If not, the day after. In conventional wisdom, there’s been a “three-day rule” which is complete and utter bullshit (if you haven’t heard of it, it’s the “rule” that you HAVE to wait three days to call a girl after you get her number.) I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve talked to who not only know that guys do this, but it drives them crazy. If you like her, call her. If she likes you, she’ll be wanting you to call her.

That said, most of my philosophy on phone/text game is that it’s really just to facilitate meeting up. If you gamed her well enough when you met her, almost anything you do should be fine as long as you’re direct and don’t play games. If she didn’t like you that much when she met you, she’s probably going to flake no matter what.

So, I guess here’s a crash course in how I run follow-up game:

- Text either later that day/night or the next day. Just say something cute followed with, “Nice meeting you.” This is nothing more than a ping for a response. If she responds, you know she’s interested. If she doesn’t, you know she’s probably a flake.
- If I REALLY like the girl, I’ll call her the next day. Most girls I call the day after, after I’ve texted back and forth with her some. Again, I really believe that guys lose a lot of girls to flakes because they sit around and wait to call them. You want to maintain communication with her and keep you fresh in her mind. Again, if she likes you, calling her so soon won’t matter, and if she doesn’t, it STILL won’t matter.
- Since I hate phone calls, I tend to do as much texting as possible first. If I can get her into some consistent text conversations, often I’ll just set up the date through text. If not, then I’ll call her within 48 hours.

I also schedule dates ASAP (another newbie mistake every guy makes). If I meet a girl on a Tuesday, I call on Thursday and set up a date for Saturday. If I meet a girl on Friday, I call on Sunday and set up a date for Monday. Etc.

This method — I guess you could call it the “no bullshit” method — doesn’t decrease flakes, what it does is get all the flakes out of the way as soon as possible. I used to waste way too much time texting and calling girls for 2-3 weeks and not be able to get a date with them. This way, I’m basically telling them to put up or shut up, I don’t have time to play phone tag, to play scheduling games, or to wait around and pretend I’m less interested than I am. If she doesn’t like me, I’d rather her flake ASAP to spare me the inconvenience.

If I’m going out regularly, I’ll be getting 5-10 phone numbers a week anyway, so losing half of them to flakes is no big deal.

As for flakes, I’ll try them 2-3 times and give up. Again, I see no point in trying to win over a girl who’s not interested when I can just go open another set. There are guys who will call and try for weeks or even a month or two, and yes, there are ways to revive dead numbers months later. But I never really cared enough to try.

Could you touch on how you perfected the art of teasing / cocky funny? This is something I have trouble pulling off, though I see it works really really well during night game.

Thanks man,
- TR

Teasing requires three things:

1. It’s funny.
2. It makes fun of her.
3. It’s playful.

If you’re not funny, then take a comedy class or two. If you’re not making fun of her (she’s not giving you an emotional response), try being more of a dick. If you’re not being playful, you need to lighten up and have more fun.

Teasing and bantering is a massive amount of trial and error. The best advice I can give you is to try and go overboard — i.e., be as shocking and ridiculous as possible. You’ll end up offending a lot of girls, but then you can slowly calibrate it back and find the sweet spot. 90% of guys are too nice and not playful enough with their teases. So I feel like if you overcompensate first, not only do you become aware of everything you can get away with, you’ll get a good feel for where you need to be.

Just don’t complain to me when you get a drink thrown on you.

You always need a little luck on your side to get her home

Got a good question on a board recently about handling logistics. I’ll forgo the post and just put up my reply:

SNL’s are all about logistics. Getting a girl to the point that she’s willing to fuck isn’t that hard at night once you have solid game and good escalation. What’s hard is dealing with the logistics.

Again.

SNL’s = Solid Game + Fast Escalation + Logistics

Learning solid game just comes down to practicing and learning to calibrate well. Escalation requires a lot of practice and experience as well. But logistics is a different beast. How do you handle them? First you need to know three things:

Logistics will always:
A) Be completely random and situational
B) Be extremely random
C) Did I mention that they’re random and sometimes there’s nothing you can do?

As a result, you have to just follow a handful of guidelines and then hope for the best.

1) Gather all relevant info. This includes: where she lives, where you live, how she got there, how she’s getting home, how you got there, if she’s sharing a ride, with who, who is she with, how does she know them, when is she going home, can you get her home in the morning, when does she have to be home in the morning, etc., etc.

2) Let HER win her friends over, not you. When it comes to taking a girl home, nothing you say, no matter how charming or cool is going to make you look genuine, “No, really, I just want to show her this cool YouTube video, I promise.” Let HER do the talking. If she’s not willing to appease her friends for you, then you haven’t gamed her well enough.

3) Make decisions and move swiftly. Don’t waffle. Don’t ask her what she wants to do. Gather the pertinent information and make an educated decision. I.e., She came with two friends, one of which is her roommate. She lives 30 minutes away. Have her give her roommate her keys and take her home with you. Tell her what you’re going to do and then do it. If you think the only shot you have is at a bathroom pull or to the car, then do it. Just grab her and go. Make her stop you.

4) Be flexible. Shit happens in night game. REALLY RANDOM SHIT. I’ve had pulls get fucked up because the girl started puking, because her brother suddenly showed up, because her friend started spontaneously crying, because her bridesmaids pulled her away, because her ex-boyfriend punched me in the face, because SHE started spontaneously crying, because she lost her keys and got locked out of her apartment, because the cab took us to the wrong hotel, etc., etc., etc. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED AND ADAPT.

5) Get lucky. Again, shit happens. Deal with it. Sometimes there’s literally nothing you can do.

One of the major sticking points of guys who come into the community is that they lack basic social skills. They are simply unable to maintain a coherent conversation without being awkward.

There are also some people who are insanely driven and will open 10 sets a night, five nights a week for a year straight. They’ll try and memorize every routine and spout anything they read online to the exact word.

What always kind of baffled me was these are usually the same people. It just seemed like an overarching coincidence.

This may seem kind of obvious now, but I realized last night that the REASON these guys are able to open constantly, all day, every day is because they don’t understand social norms and therefore aren’t influenced by social norms.

The root of approach anxiety and the reason guys who already have good social skills have trouble pushing themselves is because they are too aware of the social norms and they’re aware that they have to break the social norms. Guys who lack social skills aren’t even aware of the social norms, therefore pushing themselves to approach 100 sets a week doesn’t even occur to them as difficult.

…and gosh darnit, people like me…

This past weekend, circumstance had it that I got absolutely shit-housed two nights. Friday night, about halfway into the night, I found myself enmeshed in like a 15-set of Indian girls. The fat one LOVED me and kept putting shots of Patron under my nose. It was pretty awesome, as even though she wanted to bang me, I was able to use her to pivot to all of her cute friends.

Me: “Who’s that over there. Do you know her?”
Her: “Yeah, hey HBRandomIndian! Come meet Entropy! He’s great!”

The drawback was that the Patron caught up to me pretty quickly. For the first time since I was in college, I actually fell on my ass I was so fucking drunk. Next time you want to lose a SNL try falling over like a moron. Field-tested, Entropy approved.

Sunday night, a student who works in the film industry invited me to a wrap party. Basically a wrap party is the party they throw when filming is finished and all of the crews, extras, actors and of course, actresses are invited. The bad news was there were only a few decent sets. The worse news (or great news) was the open bar. Once again, I proceeded to mentally annihilate myself.

Now, to the point of this post. The longer I do this and the more I analyze what we’re all doing, the more I realize how almost EVERYTHING comes down to calibration. It doesn’t matter how good your skills are, if you can’t calibrate, you’re cooked.

I never noticed it back when I used to drink all of the time, but since I took about 6-8 months of little drinking, I notice it now. Getting drunk RUINS your calibration. I would give examples and details here, but honestly, I can barely remember them. I just remember saying things that seemed to be fucking money and the girls looked at me like I was a retard. This happened multiple times. Both nights I got some numbers that seemed really solid, but the next morning when I went over the night in my head, I realized they weren’t solid at all.

Guys love to drink because it makes you feel like you’re invincible. If you feel you’re invincible, you can open easier, escalate faster, and be bolder. But unfortunately, it kills your calibration, so many of your sets aren’t going to go nearly as far as they normally would. When you’re sober, you can always force yourself to open, escalate and be bold. But when you’re drunk, there’s no recovering your social calibration skills.

This isn’t to say I don’t drink or don’t think you should either. Community dogma is to never drink. I honestly think I get better with a couple drinks. One or two drinks loosens me up and pumps my state a bit. I enjoy it. The important thing is that you should never NEED alcohol and that you should try to avoid getting hammered.