Here’s a question recently from a message board which I answered about sexual anxiety.

“I get nervous / in my head while with a girl and sometimes I’ll even reject sex / talking to someone because i know it’s going to head to sex and I feel like i’m not competent in bed. It’s not dick size either but i just don’t give poundings like i should be. I’m just wondering if either of you had sexual anxiety, how you got over it, and how to pound pussy like a true champion to keep them coming back!”

I dealt with a lot of sexual anxiety when I started out. I’d make excuses not to bang a girl and all sorts of stuff. It took a long time to work through it.

There are three ways to go about it:
- Use a relaxation technique. Regulate your breathing, close your eyes, and try to be in the moment when facing sexual situations. It may feel a bit ridiculous when you do it (I had a girl think I fell asleep once), but it calmed me down and made me more able to perform.
- Guys with sexual anxiety have one of two problems: they either can’t keep it up or they bust their load way too early. If you have trouble getting it up, go buy some herbal enhancers. You can get them over the counter and they work. Just don’t take to many — you’ll end up jerking off 5 times the next day. If you bust your nut too fast, get some condoms that numb the sensation (they make these now).
- Force yourself into these situations as much as possible. After about the third or fourth time that I suffered from sexual anxiety (and really disappointed the chick), I decided that I didn’t give a shit, I was going to throw myself into sexual situations as much as I could until I got over it. Getting a fuck buddy or two helps. A girlfriend is even better.

As far as getting good in bed. Nothing replaces experience. But if you’re having trouble performing, learning to finger a girl well and eat her out well can keep her coming back so you’ll get another shot.