I think if you can relate it back to yourself as well without seeking validation/attention then that’s the best way to relate. Because not only are you empathizing with the other person but you’re also creating them the opportunity to empathize with your empathy. Example:

Person 1: My dog died. I cried all day.
Person 2: That’s awful. *Hug*. I’m really sorry. I lost my cat last year and I couldn’t stop crying either. My friends who don’t have a pet didn’t understand how painful losing her was. But I know that you have to go through a grieving process that can be far worse than people imagine. If you need to talk about it then tell me.
Person 1: Yeah my boyfriend was really caring and sad for me at first but I could tell that after a few hours he got sick of my misery. He just didn’t understand how this is going to take a while for me to get over.
Person 2: That sucks. My mum was the same. You just need to take as long as it takes you to get over it though, no matter if other people don’t understand. Here, drinks on me… and we’ll toast to the best damn dog there’s ever been. May she rest in peace

When you can drop the ego then you have the deepest form of communication.

I have the same problem about relating to others by talking about myself (irony) and I recognize it comes from my ego’s need to be heard. It leads you to generalize other peoples feelings and make assumptions that make the situation relate to you. Often I do this when I don’t find the other person interesting or the problem seems mundane and unimportant to me. When you can really care about what the other person has to say (in a Dale Carnegie way), no matter if you’ve heard it from other people a million times before or if most people would see it as unimportant, then you’ll connect so much better with them. Not that I need to tell you this Mark.

mhhh will try it..sounds very like 60s stuff

Insightful. Tried this today once and found it pretty hard to do it. Looking back the last two years I´m actively reflecting on my social interaction, I noticed, that I always relate to people situationally, and never the way you describe it in your “best way to relate”. And in fact, often people back a little bit off, or then can´t relate to what I´m saying…

Could you do three more examples, maybe for typical superficial – pickup – conversations? I would really appreciate it.

[...] Entropy: Relating to Others Well [...]

This is really good stuff man, very easy to understand too. I had an urge to see what you’ve been up to and I totally feel this was worth the visit. Fantastic!

So Entropy, curious: how does this work in with revealing your own personality?

I ask because I used to be real good at this (relating) pre-PU, but terrible about sharing about myself, now I’m worse at it (but better at sharing about myself/being open), and I’m working to redevelop it. I’m trying to find that balance between sharing about yourself and relating and empathizing with what the other person has to say. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes wrong. You have any thoughts, as someone who’s been down a similar path?

Thanks!