Here are a couple questions that I’ve been asked recently, through comments, forums, E-Mail, etc.

Could you talk about merging FB’s and general strategies for threesomes?

I was all excited for this question because I just had a great threesome last week. Now, don’t consider me an “expert” as I’ve only gotten two threesomes by this method, but they were definitely the best ones. I’ve talked to guys like Jeffy who say you shouldn’t organize threesomes this way, but it’s what works for me. In my experience, finding two bisexual FB’s independently and then bringing them together in a comfortable environment is ten times easier than sarging the second girl together and DEFINITELY easier than cold approaching both chicks the same night.

Merging FB’s is a simple process, it just takes delicate execution:
1) Get two FB’s who are at least bi-curious. They should either be a) kinky as hell or b) you’ve worked up a shit-ton of compliance in them over a period of a few months.
2) Broach the topic of bisexuality or being with a girl with them independently, preferrably when in bed. If she’s warm, bring up a threesome as a “thought experiment.” Frame it in a positive light. If she seems into it, integrate it into your dirty talk during sex.
3) Once both chicks are warm to the idea, a couple weeks later bring the topic up again and casually mention, “You know, I know this really sexy girl. She’s bi and I bet she’d be down with trying something like that.” It’s cool if they know you’ve slept with the other one (in fact, it often helps). If both girls were warm in step two, getting them on board for giving it a shot shouldn’t be difficult.
4) Plan a “spontaneous” meet up for the three of you. Tell each of them the same thing, “Hey I was supposed to hang out with that girl, (other FB) tonight, you want to meet her?” Just leave it at that. Don’t create a “plan” to seduce her or anything. As soon as you start engaging either girl’s logical faculty, it’s all downhill.
5) Meet up together. Logistics, as always, are easier said than done.
6) You’ll know within 5 seconds if it’s on or not. Girl’s decide this shit lightning fast. If it’s on, you’ll know by how they engage each other, everyone will be a little bit nervous and tense.
7) Drink… the more the better.
Bounce everyone back to your place, preferrably.
9) Start making out with one and then the other, get them to make out and you should be home free. If one hasn’t freaked out by now (they usually will), then it’s game over.
10) I hope you brought Viagra.

I’m wondering, what repercussions did you face when you identified with being a successful pick-up artist?

This is re: my post “Disidentifying with my Sex Life” a couple posts below. In the post I kind of lament my social life of old and how my obsession with women tinted my perception of my entire social life for years and years.

To answer, the repercussions didn’t hit until I started coaching. When I started coaching, a couple things happened.

1) I slowly began to hang out with more and more guys and fewer and fewer girls (ironic, isn’t it?).
2) More and more of my social circle were guys in the community.
3) Sarging itself, started becoming a grind.

What do these add up to? Basically, healthy people separate work and leisure, both in mind and in practice. You have your work that you do, and then you have your friends who you hang out with. Sometimes you enjoy work, and sometimes you hang out with people from your office or whatever, but in your mind, there’s a clear distinction between work and play.

Being a professional PUA, that’s gone. The line between work and play blurs completely. Your friends are now one in the same with prospective customers, the girls you talk to are both girls your hitting on and a commodity (quite literally). Peter Drucker (like THE guru on management and productivity) calls this living in the grey area. He says when we fail to clearly separate work and play in our minds, both areas of our lives suffer. Well, the way the PUA industry is currently set up, there’s NO DISTINCTION between these two lives.

I don’t want every girl I open to be another marketing opportunity. I don’t want to have to be concerned about my business reputation when I’m just grabbing some beers with some friends. And for God’s sake, I want friends who are capable of talking about something OTHER than sex for long periods of time.

It fucking sucks. Talking to other coaches around the community I’ve come to the conclusion that this afflicts the ones who once had vibrant and healthy social lives pre-community. This shit warps your social life and basically how you deal with people. I don’t like it. And I see how the old school coaches who have been living this for almost a decade have gone off the deep-end (not naming any names).

I totally see why Ciaran quit (for those of you don’t know, Ciaran was one of the top RSD instructors who up and left for seemingly no reason recently). It’s funny, when he quit I read his farewell posts and was like, “Hah, what a sissy.” Now, I TOTALLY get it.

I appreciate the comments on these posts when I put them up. Sometimes when I write them, I feel like a spoiled brat who’s complaining. But it’s how I feel, it’s what I’m going through in my PUA development, and it’s my fucking blog. So deal.

I totally feel the guys who comment, “Yeah, but I get no results, I’d trade my problem for yours in a heartbeat.” I guess I would too. But getting into this business is kind of like selling your soul in a lot of ways. Sure, you gain the skills to gets monsterous amounts of pussy, but you lose perspective and a lot of aspects of a healthy social life in the process. There are some days where I wish I could move to a random city where I know no one and pretend nothing happened. But enough of my emo crying…