Mailbag, Other - Written by Entropy on Friday, March 20, 2009 12:00 - 4 Comments

Mailbag! (3/20/09)

It’s the end of the week, and most of us should be heading out. This is actually the first Friday night I’ve had free in about a month, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do. But time to do another mail bag.

I’ve been getting some great questions. So keep them coming. Send them to:

Do you think that in dealing with sexual anxiety that finding a good therapist to work with is the best method?

- Dan

Lots of talk of therapy going around lately. I’ll say this: therapy helped MY sexual anxiety and inner game in general more than about anything else. Now granted, I had a SHIT TON of baggage (previous relationship, parent issues, messed up adolescence, etc.) which was the root of my sexual anxiety and most of my inner game issues.

Would I recommend therapy to anybody who’s gotten out of an absolutely atrocious relationship? Yes. Absolutely. Would I recommend therapy to anyone who had a fucked up childhood or has horrible relations with their parents. YES! No question.

But don’t take therapy as a cure-all for inner game issues. There’s a lot of stuff that it won’t fix.

And I have to say this again, because it’s crucial. THERAPY WILL NOT WORK IF YOU DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR CHANGING YOURSELF. I think most people tend to show up to therapy, plop down on the couch and expect the shrink to fix them. No, you are fixing yourself and the shrink is there to facilitate it.

I’ve been meeting new girls constantly from college. I don’t want to be a PUA. I just want to be, like you say, a normal guy. But a socially successful normal guy. A guy that has fun wherever, whenever. Dating science has been helping me tons with it. Is it worth it spending all that money going out and all that time spent? What if I already know what I want?

- Rodrigo

If you already know what you want, then just focus on that. Don’t focus on what ebooks, DVD courses and forums tell you to be. Focus on what YOU want to be. It sounds like you have a pretty solid lifestyle already. Use PUA to supplement it, not replace it.

You’re a guy I would tell not to pay for coaching. Read stuff. Get some advice. Try it out in your regular social life. That should suit your needs.

Could you touch on building attraction in bars / clubs / book stores in a future post? This area is a bit of a mystery to me, and I’m curious how you go about generating attraction prior to moving to comfort game.

- TR

I give the girl my patented “blue steel.” We make out within 30 seconds. Then if I decide I like her, we fuck in the bathroom. If she’s good in the bathroom, then I go into comfort game. If she’s cool and we fall in love before last call (2AM in Boston), then I’ll take her phone number. If not, I open another set.

Seriously though, what you just asked is the subject of like 5,000 pages and 60 hours of seminar. But how do I build attraction? Teasing and banter mostly.

Hey Entropy I know BradP learned a lot from naturals but what exactly do your naturals do differently than a mpua or is it something intangible that they have? I know a couple naturals in my school but I don’t necessarily think they are naturals they are just good looking guys is that the case here?

- Anonymous

Absolutely not. The word “natural” is one of the most misconstrued terms in the PUA community. That’s why I tend to call these two guys “supernaturals.” You have to have 300+ lays and have fucked a model from a major magazine to qualify as a supernatural. These guys both have (Maxim and Vogue-Italy respectively).

But to answer your question, “do they do things that mPUA’s don’t?” Yes and no. I would say they do FEWER things, because they only do what works and nothing else, although they’re not aware of it. Are the things they do similar to mPUA’s? Yeah. They just do them a lot better, so they don’t have to do as MUCH stuff.

I heard faking body language can be IMPOSSIBLE due to micro movements, lightining fast eyebrow raises, pupil dilation, etc…

What do you think?

- Love Potion

Interesting question. On a conscious level, yes, it’s totally fake-able. But those micro movements are only noticed sub-consciously — i.e., it’s those micro movements that tell us a “vibe” a person has. So you can be doing the right body language overtly, but your “vibe” will be off, and you’ll seem incongruent.

This is fine and a phase pretty much everybody goes through when they start out. The other thing about body language though is that you can actually train your mind by changing your body language. For instance, if you fix your body language, your mind will begin to reflect the postures you create.

So in time, the micro movements will catch up to the conscious movement.

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Mar 20, 2009 13:00

One thing I think would make for a cool post is dominance.

Specifically how can one be dominant in set without coming off like a douche.

There is alot of talk in the community about being dominant and leading to cause attraction but limited instruction of what it means to be dominant.


Mar 20, 2009 14:12

I agree. Although, I have to say that in my experience coaching, the two hardest things to teach by far are dominance and aggression.

It’s impossible to point to dominance. It’s this very ephemeral idea that is hard to explain. It’s one of those things you either kind of know or you don’t.

But I’ll think about it and maybe take a stab at it some time.

Mar 21, 2009 1:21

Excellente question Erick. Entropy4, please try to answer it.

Mar 21, 2009 18:33

Thanks a lot for answering my question Entropy


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