So my girlfriend (if you don’t know, dating for almost 2 years, completely bi) has gotten on a big threesome kick recently. Not sure where it came from, but I’m not about to discourage it.

As a result she and I have started tandem sarging regularly for the first time. We had done it before, but we never really took it seriously or pushed very far. But recently, she’s gotten hooked on it. She’s started experiencing that same emotional rollercoaster between approaches, rejections, phone numbers and flakes… and she’s hooked. She gets it. She gets why we spend so much time on this, and she finally gets why getting laid for us is such a big deal.

Pretty cool.

Anyway, we’ve been tandem sarging a bit and she and I feel like we’ve finally hammered down our “process.” It took a while, some successes and a lot of failures, but we think we “got” it… or at least what works for us. I’m sure a lot of other couples can and would do it differently.

Her Role: The Gatekeeper
We’ve slowly found out that she needs to be doing almost all of the heavy lifting and/or “outer game” I guess you would say. Women, when hitting on women, have an advantage in almost every department. It’s actually quite sickening.

- They almost never get blown out by anyone, males or female.
- They’re able to screen for bisexuality almost immediately by flirting with the target a little bit.
- They have insta-comfort and trust.
- Other girls don’t flake on them, almost ever.

But there’s an even bigger and more important reason that the woman needs to be leading the charge in most of these sarges.

The second girl — assuming she’s at least bi-curious — is typically going to have only two major concerns with the whole threesome thing: making sure she’s attracted to both partners, and making sure she doesn’t fuck up the relationship that they already have.

Women are very sensitive about this, but it’s HUGELY important that they know that EVERYTHING is cool with the girlfriend of the relationship. We noticed this when often I would sarge girls and would then tell them about my girlfriend and I and see if they were interested. They just never seemed to believe me. They thought I was some scumbag with a greasy story, and for some reason, whatever reason, I was lying to them about something and they couldn’t put their finger on it.

These girls always flaked.

This is why having your girl take the lead is so huge, she kills two birds with one stone: she immediately weeds out any women who aren’t at least bi-curious, and she immediately establishes credibility that this is real, that we really want to do it, and I’m not just some creepy guy coming up with an elaborate plan to get into her pants.

Your Role: Director and Puppetmaster
Your role is to take care of logistics and keep your attraction levels up. The nice thing about tandem sarging, is that your girlfriend’s social proof and comfort levels are going to automatically be so high, that you have to do very little as far as “classical” game is concerned. Comfort-wise, you really just have to show that you’re not a creepy dude, and attraction-wise, you really just kind of “stay cool” and not say anything retarded.

Our big role is logistics and escalating… although both of these things are done through your girlfriend. What I’ve noticed is that if you leave two women to their own devices to hook up, they’ll just call each other back forever, brainstorm get-together ideas, ramble on about their hair or something and then nothing happens.

Things really started to change for us when my girlfriend and I figured that I basically just needed to act through her. She’d do the approach, she’d get the phone number, she’d call. But I’d be whispering in her ear what to do and what to say the whole time. We came up with a few little signals to each other and would brainstorm before phone calls together. I wrote all of the texts on her phone.

The other thing that I’ve noticed is that it’s important to get some face time with your target one on one. If this doesn’t happen, then the threesome can quickly become about the two girls and you just kind of sit there with your dick in your hand.

My girlfriend and I have made it a habit to logistically set things up so that we each get at least 10-15 minutes alone with our target. This way, I can establish some attraction (through light joking and banter), and show I’m a cool dude without her around. I think this goes along way to making the experience feel more engaging for everyone involved.

Example from the other night:

So I’m just going to blow through a successful tandem sarge really quick to illustrate some of these points and some patterns that we’re picking up on.

About two months ago, my girlfriend went out to get us breakfast and coffee. Amazingly enough, my girlfriend has picked up more girls buying coffee than any other place. She gravitates towards day game and is totally a natural with approaching and flirting and whatnot.

(She actually uses Practical Pickup’s old direct day game stack. I don’t think she realizes it, but she does it without much guidance from me. Pretty funny.)

So she’s getting breakfast and I think she ends up insta-dating this girl she met in line. It’s so easy for girls to do shit like this with each other, it’s not funny.

My girlfriend’s not very subtle and doesn’t hold back. By the end of breakfast, she told the target that she thinks she’s sexy and me and her like to double team sexy girls. The girl seemed interested. They trade numbers. She comes home and wakes me up all excited that she picked up a sexy girl who wants to sleep with us. Needless to say, this may be the only way to wake me up before noon without getting swiftly kicked in the face.

We call her, she doesn’t pick up. We play some text tag (I write the texts.) Turns out she’s going home for a couple months (she’s still in college.) I tell my girlfriend that we’ll try her again halfway through the summer, but I pretty much wrote it off as a flake.

Well, once again, I underestimated the power of chick-comfort. This last weekend, we were tandem sarging some night game, and between venues, I told my girlfriend to call this girl again. Just see what happens. She did, no answer, leaves a voicemail. Next day we wake up and target texted her back saying she’d call soon. Score, we’re back in the game.

They play phone tag again. Finally my girlfriend gets her on the phone Monday. This is the first time they’ve actually spoken since they met.

My girlfriend talks to her and the target seems a bit hesitant and wants to meet up in person first and talk about things. GF is very accommodating saying that both her and I will be around all night and that she and her could go get a drink if she wanted.

The target says she’s doing a project for summer school that night, but will call us if she’s done. But if not, then later in the week.

Again, I write her off as a flake. But a few hours later she calls and says she’s coming over.

Big Signal #1. There’s a big signal here that’s easy to miss. In fact, my guess is 95% of guys would miss it, but it’s HUGE.

My girlfriend initially offered to go grab a drink with her, solo. But the target changed her mind and insisted on coming over to our apartment to have a drink there.

What does that mean? That means that my GF is already clear in her book — i.e., the target is already set on hooking up with my GF, now she needs to check me out.

She comes over. I play it cool… like ultra-cool… like this is just another Monday and I really could care less where my dick ends up. One thing I’ve noticed with threesomes, is if you even let on an INKLING that you’re excited about the thing happening, or that it’s a huge deal to you, you’re done. More on this in a bit.

So she comes over, we small talk. We offer her a drink. She has one. We really didn’t expect her to want to do it that night. She even mentioned having a class the next morning.

After about an hour (and 20 minutes of me getting face time with her), I’m pretty confident about her being into me and am pretty sure we can set up a day 3 with her and get it done then. As I’m sorting these logistics out in my head, I get up to go get another beer.

Big Signal #2. When I get to the kitchen I realize the entire bottle of Lemoncello that we offered her is gone. That means she’s on like her 4th or 5th drink already. She wouldn’t be drinking this much unless she… oh shit.

Next time target gets up to go to the bathroom I tell my GF what’s up. My GF really wasn’t counting on it happening tonight, and is really tired. I tell her that I don’t want to let target down, because the worst thing we could do is let her think we’re rejecting her as a couple. It probably took a lot for her to not only come over but to decide to herself that she’ll do it, and for us to take that for granted could fuck things up. This may be a “now or never” type deal.

So we decide to bounce everyone to the bar across the street so my girlfriend can get some Red Bull and we can all get a buzz going.

Big Signal #3. In threesome situations, the target will rarely show you overt IOI’s, so it can be hard to tell if she’s into you or to establish a sexual frame. She’s not going to flip her hair at you, or kino you, or whatever. Again, because your girlfriend is right there, and your girlfriend is the gatekeeper. But it’s still important that you and the target show interest in each other in other ways.

Target and I went to the bar together and ordered drinks. I made sure to pay for her. She offered to pay me back and I said “no, I’m buying you a drink” and looked at her intently, as if we were on a date together. She looked back at me, said, “OK,” meekly and smiled. She got it. Although so minor, this establishes a “we’re not buddies” frame, but a “we’re sexually interested” frame with one another.

Big Signal #4. Towards the end of hanging out at the bar, the dynamic in the group shifted. Rather than being my GF and I on a team flirting with the target, it became my GF and the target on a team, teasing and shit-testing me.

This used to really confuse me, but now after half a dozen threesomes, I’ve noticed this happens EVERY time: right before the threesome is actually going to happen, the girls gang up on me, bashing me and teasing me with each other.

This is why guys with weak inner game will never pass these situations. Some guys can’t handle ONE hot girl shit-testing them, well imagine two doing it at the same time and laughing with each other about it. You become the brunt of every joke.

But I realized after a while why it happens this way. It’s because the threesome experience CAN’T be about you. It has to be about them. The girls need to feel comfortable with one another, and for that to happen, the guy has to seem so indifferent and complacent that he could never possibly stir up any emotional drama. So this is accomplished by them taking you on together.

The answer? You just take it. Don’t take it like a chump… I’ll respond with a cocky comment maybe 1/4 of the time, but you have to take it. Don’t react to it. Don’t get pissy. And DEFINITELY don’t start feeling sorry for yourself and complain that they’re hurting your feelings. Just take it. It’s part of the process. If you try to assert yourself too much then you’re going to kill the bonding and last bit of comfort they’re building with one another. Remember, you’re just along for the ride, it’s their show.

So anyway, we get home. It’s really obvious what’s happening now. We go into the bedroom. My girlfriend goes into the bathroom. This is how we start every threesome. One of us goes into the bathroom and the other will start making out with the target while they’re in there. We try to make it so that whoever the target has more sexual chemistry with starts it off. As the night progressed, I was more into this girl than my girlfriend was. And she seemed more into me as well, so I started things off.

So anyway, I’m sitting with her on the bed, fiddling with the music. I ask her nonchalantly, “are you nervous or anything?” and look back at her. She says, “No I feel pretty comfortable with you guys.” I say, “Good” and start kissing her. My girlfriend comes in and that was that.