Connection, Relationships - Written by Entropy on Thursday, April 30, 2009 10:32 - 8 Comments

Love Letter from a Billionaire

A reader emailed me this article about Red Sox co-owner and billionaire John Henry picking up his current girlfriend through email. I decided to break down the email here. It’s good to know the result: he ends up with the girl. But is it because he’s got game? Or is it just because he’s a billionaire. Well, I’m sure the money doesn’t hurt things, but let’s find out:

John Henry:

Dear Linda,
A man needs a muse. Well, he doesn’t really. He doesn’t need nearly as much as he generally thinks he does. A man is greedy. Greedy for what he doesn’t think he has and what he thinks he wants. We probably wouldn’t have wandered far beyond the basic necessities without that pushing us. Progress is one of its most important byproducts.

So you will ask, “Why are you writing this?” Because a brief encounter-and-a-half with you gave a cool spin to this little blue planet from my vantage point.

We feted the Celtics tonight and the skies opened. The sun emerged and created a giant rainbow between the city and the park. We were transfixed. You only saw it if you were in the right place. I was in the right place when I noticed you.

I barely know you. I don’t have any illusions about capturing your heart. But the world is brighter, better, lighter and warmer when a man imbues a woman he knows — even tabula rasa — with the attributes that I believe reside in you. It’s the small things that ultimately matter, the subtle things.

I am honest. I don’t play games. And I see no reason not to say that I’ve been smitten by you and you’ve done me a great service.
You’ve very innocently made my world brighter, better, lighter and warmer.

So thanks.

No response is necessary because a man doesn’t need nearly as much as he thinks he does.

Wow… Well, if anything, he’s definitely poetic and a good writer. But did this work? She does end up with him. Here’s her response:

A man may not need as much as he thinks he does, but courage and honesty should be acknowledged. I am not so naive as to believe I actually possess the qualities you attribute to me. But thank you.

Before we jump into this, there are a few things to keep in mind: 1) They’re older, 59 and 30, 2) They’re both probably looking for long-term relationships, 3) They’re both obviously very educated and have had serious relationships (or marriages) in the past.

So let’s look at this in terms of the Seven Immutable Laws of Pickup because as you guys know, the only “model” that I subscribe to is whether a certain guy is offering value to a certain girl — negs, bantering, teasing, etc., etc., is incidental.

1. Rejection – He’s obviously completely resigned and immune to her rejection. An email like this out of the blew says, “I’m putting myself out there” more than almost anything you could do.
2. Lifestyle – Billionaire. Owns the Red Sox. Check.
3. Aggression – Again, he’s sending this email out of the blue stating his interest in her. He’s pushing the issue, he’s not sitting idly and hoping she becomes interested in him.
4. Sub-Communication – This is huge because sub-communication is always determining where the attraction comes from. What does Henry’s letter sub-communicate to her? He’s poetic, that sub-communicates a depth of emotion and passion. Very attractive. He’s intelligent and well-spoken (who says “tabula rasa?”). He states his interest intently, and THEN — and this is the most important part of the letter — he says, “no response is necessary because a man doesn’t need nearly as much as he think he does.” A bit over the top, but this just bleeds of genuinity and sincerity. There’s no pressure on her. He’s shared his emotions beautifully and intelligently and she has no pressure to respond or return it. Not only that, but his interest was light. He didn’t say, “OMG, I LOVE YOU,” or that she’s the love of his life. He simply says, “you make things lighter, warmer,” etc.
5. Connection – he’s sharing his emotions wonderfully. Apparently she resonates with them, although she’s a bit coy. What’s interesting is her humility which indicates a lot of flattery.
6. Relationships – He’s indicating that he’s interested in an emotional connection and commitment. She can take it or leave it.
7. Inertia – Doesn’t apply to a single situation.

So assuming the following things, he’s hitting it on all cylinders: she’s interested in an emotional connection and commitment, she’s intelligent and romantic, she’s not turned off by an older man worth billions of dollars, this is going to hit her in exactly the right ways. I realize this goes against a lot of classic PUA community dogma, but if you haven’t figured it out yet by reading this blog, a lot of PUA community dogma is plain wrong.

Kudos, Mr. Henry and congratulations.

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Apr 30, 2009 11:01

Umm…the letter didn’t work. Did you read her response?

“A man may not need as much as he thinks he does, but courage and honesty should be acknowledged. I am not so naive as to believe I actually possess the qualities you attribute to me. But thank you.”

Apr 30, 2009 11:05

Umm… the letter did work. Did you read the article? They’re getting married.

Apr 30, 2009 12:23

I’m sort of with Five. This was an incredibly chodey letter which may have worked or may have not, but if it did it’s only because he’s SO overqualified (see: billionaire) that the fact that he’s showing interest in her for any reason other than her looks is pretty much going to get at least a chance. I have a feeling that it didn’t really work though, and while he may be marrying her, she’s probably wearing the pants.

That said, it’s really not that hard to field test. Send this email to the hot girl in the office, or random girl who you picked up last week. It’s pretty much a copy paste email that would require only 1 or 2 tweaks. Maybe I’ll send it to some of my dead numbers and blog about it.

Apr 30, 2009 12:34

@Hammer: I’m pretty sure it would work on any woman who is: single, looking for a committed relationship, romance and emotional connection, like intelligent and successful guys. That’s a large chunk of women out there. Think outside the box of club sluts and college girls.

Obviously, there’s a lot more going on here. Keep in mind they’d already met and probably flirted a lot. For all we know she could have been all over his nuts before he sent this.

And again, you have to remember this is an email going on between an older man and an older woman so classic ideas of “chodey” behavior don’t necessarily apply. “Chodey” behavior is when you put a woman on a pedestal and worship her. He’s not doing this. He’s retaining his power. He’s basically say, “I like you,” in a fancy and beautiful way.

Don’t underestimate connection and love game.

Re: Love Letter from a Billionaire |
Apr 30, 2009 13:32

[...] in response to the comments and a couple emails I’ve gotten regarding the earlier post today: Love Letter from a Billionaire. Everyone’s responded with the same point: “She’s only with him for his money, [...]

Apr 30, 2009 16:35

I was one of the e-mailers who thought this guy was being a major chode too but…

you do make a great point in that I can’t imagine anyone in the community being at this point in their lives so the typical approaches don’t work. The community seems to be made up mostly of geeks and losers, the downtrodden, the wretched of the earth who are out to prove something. I remember how you once said that when you initially came in you wanted to emotionally damage as many women as possible. I think that’s probably lurking somewhere in my motives too at this point. I would guess that probably a large number of community guys feel that way too given the number of people who come in with “I was in a great relationship until she cheated on me” story.

But anyways like you said, he’s not looking for a SNL or a FB. He seems to be world-weary and looking for emotional fulfillment. If the goals are different, can the methods really be faulted? For the record, I thought the letter was atrocious and Keats’ worm-eaten bones probably did a triple lutz but I suppose that direct interest survived that.

But at any rate, I don’t think the marriage can be conclusive as to whether it “worked” or not. We really have no idea what’s going on or what kind of guy Henry is from just this letter. The sample size is just way too small.

Apr 30, 2009 22:49

Excellent way for a billionaire to make himself seem human – plus it plays directly into a woman’s wildest romantic fantasies to believe she can be the one missing piece to “complete” a man who otherwise has it all. A thousand movies have been made on this very theme, and women eat them up.

As far as the quality of that letter, I’m sure you ARE aware that John Henry personally knows Stephen King…?

Benedict M. Smith
May 6, 2009 10:45

this is mind boggling. she’ll be banging some guy who works part-time at Blockbuster inside of 3 years, then get a fat ass alimony check to boot.

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