A reader writes:

If I understand it correctly, you and your ex-girlfriend, you guys would go out together and pick up other women. I’m basically in that place and have never been here before and don’t really know where to begin or what to do.

How do you identify a target that would be up for it that isn’t dykey and masculine?

Once a target is identified, what is the role of the guy and the girl in terms of trying to pull the target?

I just assume that 80+% of women are at least bi-curious, so I don’t even bother with trying to “pre-select” them. Just pay attention to girls that you BOTH find attractive. This is actually a bit harder than it sounds because for whatever reason, women tend to have much different (and sometimes strange) tastes in other women. Venue choice will be important, as it should suit your personalities well. My ex-girlfriend was kind of an “artsy” type, and hated high-end clubs… So we found more interesting off-beat bars and lounges to hang out in.

When it comes to actually picking up the second girl, well… this bursts a lot of guys bubble… but your girl should do most of the leg-work. Basically almost EVERYTHING in the first 10-30 minutes of the interaction, she’s going to be better at and have huge advantages.

1) She’ll rarely, if ever, get blown out.
2) She’s going to screen girls for bi-curiosity VERY quickly. One of my biggest mistakes was I’d work on a girl for like 30 minutes just to find out that she wasn’t into girls. If your girl opens her, then you’ll know within a minute.
3) The only caveat to this is that you’re going to do better in girl group sets, she’ll do better in sets with guys. If there’s 3-4 girls, this is actually the only situation that may blow her out. So if you go in and isolate your target ASAP, then bring your girl in, do it that way.

The problem with this is that a lot of girls love the IDEA of “sarging together,” but when it comes time and you say something like, “OK, go hit on that brunette…” they stop and stutter and suddenly decide they’d rather just be with you… As in all threesome scenarios, managing her security is pretty fragile.

If she DOES approach and is pretty upfront about it (not necessarily direct, but she should be pretty openly flirting with the girl), you’ll actually be surprised by the success rate.

She will get blown out of very few sets. The one’s she’s not, maybe 1/3 or 1/2 will show SOME interest… and then within another 30-40 minutes about 1/2 of those will turn out to be “fake” interest — like they just liked the attention or just wanted to make out and entertain the idea.

You actually lose a lot of girls to other guys… in most cases. Not that guys come in and interfere (they never do), or ever catch on to what’s actually going on (they’re always oblivious), often times the target just knows she can already get with X guy over here, and she’s not sure if experimenting with a threesome or with a girl is an upgrade or not. Nothing I or my ex ever tried prevented this either. I think it’s just that having a guy in the bag is a lot more secure and comfortable to them, so they lean towards that.

Anyway… once the interest is reciprocated, that’s when I jump in. This makes it super easy, because if the target is into your girl, and your girl introduces you as “the guy” then social proof takes care of most of your attraction work for you. Attraction game actually doesn’t help a whole lot in threesome sarging because it just creates awkward dynamics between the three of you more often than not.

I just stuck with comfort.

Also, if you’ve made it this far, they will NEVER flake on you. Girls don’t ever flake on girls. It’s amazing and mind-boggling. Our call-back rate together must have been (again, have your girl get the number and call) must have been 95+% whereas the actually threesome percentage was probably 1-5%

The reason for your girl to lead in the beginning is that women just trust other women pretty much instantaneously. It doesn’t matter how awesome your “game,” is… when you proposition a girl with a threesome yourself, she’ll ALWAYS be questioning your motives in the back of her mind. She’s less likely to believe you. The few times I got girls on board with it all by myself (after like an hour’s worth of work versus like five minutes for my girlfriend), my girlfriend would get pissed because she thought the girl just wanted to sleep with me and not both of us.

Girl-girl-guy threesomes always have to be about the girls. Always. You’re just along for the ride (no pun intended). So that combined with the fact that she’s going to have such huge natural advantages over you, means she should be doing most of the “picking up” on her own.

So, the three of you hang out and you flirt with her a bit and get to know her a bit. It’s around this point either you or your girl mentions her coming home with you. Most girls meet this with shock. They don’t think you’re for real. And then when they realize you are, you’ll lose about 1/2 of them just because they can’t handle it.

Some of them will just kind of flip out and leave. Some will be extremely flattered but just not be able to wrap their mind around it. Some will say they want to, but they can’t for X, Y and Z reasons — and then continue to text you and call you for six months but never do it.

Sometimes you get a situation where she only wants you or she only wants your girl. These can be awkward, and can actually test both of your insecurities. My girlfriend usually hated it. Although one time she did bring a girl home with us because she knew I was really into her and wanted to make me happy (we were very close and secure in our relationship by this time).

There was one time where the girl just wanted to get with her… and did. They ate each other out in the bathroom of the club. That was… kind of weird… hahaha… but cool I suppose. I won’t lie, my ego was a bit bruised… but who cares, it made them happy.

If you’re lucky and she seems down for it, once there’s the implied “go,” that’s when you take over. Manage all logistics. Take care of everyone. Buy everyone drinks. Kino both of them and get them to kino each other.

What happens a lot is that they “team up” on you at this point… and will shit test you together… Just let it happen, it’s part of them making the situation comfortable for themselves… It can be uncomfortable, but don’t worry… it’s a sign that you’re set. They’ll sit there and make fun of you or give you shit, and you just smile and nod and think to yourself “I am going to jackhammer the shit out of you in about an hour for that…” shit, you may even want to say that out loud.

Take them home. I used to think you should get them kissing first… but later on I’d initiate the kiss a lot and it worked just as well. Just make sure your girl is cool with it.

In fact, that’s hugely important, make sure you and her talk about established boundaries BEFORE any of this happens. Is she cool eating her out? Is she cool with you doing it? Is she cool with you two making out? Etc. Etc.

Enjoy!