I guess its sad/frustrating in a way whilst travelling. How many of the local girls are actually interested in the westerner just because of how he comes across, ie in the sense of a normal interaction/attraction, as opposed to the idea of getting with a western guy in the belief that it just equals money/status?

I guess obvoiusly it depends on the country and the poverty levels and the types of girls you come into contact with, but also, how long you spend in each place, what you do there, how you spend your time. Obvoiusly if you have a typical party holdiay in a country and go clubbing, drinking etc, then your only going to meet a number of local girls that are accustommed to western guys in that sense, ie guys that want to just get drunk and fuck.

So I think getting a lot of blow outs in clubs is essientally going to be no brainer given you dont speak the native language well and that her understanding of western men is guys that want to get drunk and fuck mostly.

Day game is therefore more useful in these countries and making sure you dont come across as a jerk but as an individual who they can relate to just like any other human with out all the western supiroirty complex or the tourist on a party/sex holiday.

I really appreciate all your insights here Entropy.

From my own experience, I think the country’s general culture, even which city you are in, is also important as well as your own status (eg being a tourist, businessman, jet-setter, teacher, or typical expat).

For example, I lived in Paris, where being an English speaker is hardly a novelty. But when I lived in Toulouse and was travelling around France, speaking in French, I found girls really patient and REALLY welcoming. Just not in Paris.

France is one of those countries where the longer you stay, the more you are expected to speak the language. In the Czech Republic and other ’smaller’ countries they just don’t have this expectation. My last lover spoke in Czech with me, and my Czech is nothing special but you’re right here in that she was also interested in English and Aussie-land culture.

And regarding our ’status’, the lowest folk in the food chain here in Prague and probably other European cities are the Brit expats who come over for a weekend’s sex-club-and-drink session. They’re shunned by pretty much everyone, Europe’s answer to the ‘gringos’ you mentioned. Other folk – businessmen, teachers and tourists can all find their niche…

You bring up a great point about the day game. I’m slowly finding out that that is the way to go, at least in the big cities. You are able to sift through all of the uninterested ones within minutes rather than the dragged out blow-out-a-thon that the clubs here turn into.

As far as the status/money thing. I suppose that has a little to do with it… but I run into that far less than it just being a novelty. Like this Brazilian model I’m (still) trying to seal the deal with… she’s 18, has never met an American guy, much less hooked up with one. To her, I can tell I’m a novelty and basically any relatively attractive American who could speak a little Spanish/Portuguese with her would probably have a decent shot with her.

But what happens is, as you get to know these girls, you do develop a genuine connection… It’s just that the only girls open to that potential are the ones who are pre-disposed to Americans and our culture.

Oh well, it is what it is.

Prague: Very true about the status… When I meet girls, the first thing they ask is if I’m on vacation and I make it VERY VERY apparent that I’m living here. I’ve found it to be important.

Other thing you brought up (maybe unintentionally) is that the “B List” cities tend to give MUCH warmer reactions. I find that the mega cities — Paris, Madrid, Buenos Aires, Rio, etc. — have very hot/cold reactions to foreigners, whereas if you go to a one-off city, women’s reactions are far warmer and more curious. I spent some time in both Mar del Plata and Mendoza here in Argentina, and in both cities, it was almost a joke how easy and curious some of the women were towards me.

International Game: The Reality

There are numerous reasons why it’s going to take a long time for you to hit your stride in foreign countries. Some of these include:

How well you won’t know the language
How fast you find the best night spots or if you know where they are
How fast you find the best day spots or if you know where they are
How fast you get use to the culture

These four main barriers are what usually sabotages you abroad. The most important one being language. But all of this doesn’t mean that dating environments abroad can’t be better then your local dating environment.

Think about it? How many of your neighbors speak English? Do all of the guys that are flirting with your favorite girl speak English…? probably? There are no language barriers in your local dating scene. No how many of your local guys are shagging your local girls, probably not many….

What you need to do is focus on the obstacles and overcoming them….

Obstacle 1: The first obstacle to overcome is the the fact that people will think you’re a rich young American who’s only there to bang prostitutes. I’ve seen this all over Latin America. A lot of these stigmas come from past American’s and past foreigners who have come to Latin American countries for just that. These guys have give the rest of the “gringos” a bad name, but it is something that will change with time. The only way to get by this stereotype is to stay away from the “prepagos” or working girls, and in some cases from the places where these women frequent.

Obstacle 2: Style. If you have an eccentric style like that of a rocker in the U.S.A you might have a tough time fitting in unless you find your perfect niche inside the city you’re visiting. American rock isn’t that popular throughout most of Latin America. You might find certain venues that cater to this music in certain large Latin America cities but in general I wouldn’t count on it. In your case would suggest you try to fit in more by changing your style to something you feel more comfortable with but something that is more common throughout Latin America.

I agree with your idea of preselection. The women who are have been exposed to American culture and and who liked it, will be open to you, more then those who haven’t, because they’ll have an experience to build upon with you. You call this preselection. Although I agree with you that this is a factor, I think you were being help up a lot by Obstacles 1 & 2.

On a final note I disagree that you need to speak the language fluently. I think you need some conversational language yes, but you don’t need fluency. In fact I think the lack of language knowledge can help in creating conversation and sparking up some some unintentional romantic moments, if you know how to play you cards right.

Dan: We’re probably going to end up agreeing to disagree here. But I guess I should note that I’ve been living here, speak the language quite well (two hour conversations are no problem in non-noisy environments), and am not on vacation or anything.

Finding good locations takes a week tops. I personally think cultural factors are minimal, but even those, a month tops.

The fact remains that every girl I’ve hooked up with down here, bar none, has either A) spoken a little bit of English, or B) been very interested in Western culture or traveling, or both. Every other girl simply runs out of patience with me. I know it’s not personal, but that’s just the way it is. I ran into this same effect in parts of Europe as well.

The rocker look thing… it’s very hit and miss and probably only making my preselection problem worse. Some girls absolutely fucking love it and flip out over my tattoos. Others are like, “why the fuck are your ears pierced?” I suppose it’s just even a more hit and miss component. They love rock here in Buenos Aires (especially 80’s shit for some reason), but you don’t see the rocker style here at all. I hate to say this, but I think “dressing well” here is all about brands and social status. The few nights I’ve broken out the “nice dress,” I’ve been getting far more positive comments and attention.

I’ve only got like 10 days here left, so we’ll see… This last weekend actually went pretty well after I wrote this… go figure.

Looks like we agree on pretty much everything except for one thing.

In large cities the size of Buenos Aires or Bogota or even Medellin sometimes it’s taken me up to one month to find the really good night spots. I’m talking about the spots where you might be the only foreigner in the place and places that are loaded with single women. Also, these same places might be the best places to approach women who don’t speak any English.

It takes a lot of trial and error, asking around, checking different places out on different nights. In the first week you’ll find the most well know, places. Usually people will point you the priciest most well known place in the city, for example if you’re in Medellin and get in a taxi or ask anyone, they’ll tell you to go to Mangos or El Poblado, but I’ve found they’re not the best place to meet single women in Medellin.

If you’re lucky you’ll find the best places on the first week, but I usually don’t expect to find them until week 3 or 4, sometimes longer. And you’ll only find these places by being persistent and going out often.

Actually, I’ll give you that… you can find OK to good venues within a week… but it takes 2-3 weeks to find the BEST venues on each night, with the highest qualities locals, no tourists, etc.

True, true.

Heres a tip that I have found to work amazingly stellar. If you go to a country and you dont know the language. Having a pad or paper, pen and a translating dictionary are key.

1. Its fun for the two of you to interact this way.
2. Takes up a lot of time+ building comfort
3. Some women find it romantic and that you are interested in getting to know them rather than just wanting sex.