I always tell students that there is an element of chaos involved in sarging that is unavoidable, and they should simply learn to accept it. Tonight is such an extreme example, I have to post about it.

Today was Valentine’s Day and I originally planned to go out. Around 9PM, my roommate Fish told me his pivot was coming over and bringing a few single girls. I had to do a lot of work on my seminar for my upcoming bootcamp anyway, so I figured, cool, I’ll stay in, work and do some social circle game.

They end up not showing up until 1AM. Two friends come and Fish and I decided to split them. One’s an HB8 and one an HB7. I go for the HB8, and within 20 minutes, it’s on. The girl required very little game, no negs, just some jokes, some flirting and some push pull. I kino escalated and within 30 minutes, she was all over me.

Out of nowhere, the girls decide they want to walk to the bar down the street to grab some fries. They have the drunk munchies or something. I decide not to go because 1) I’m banned from the bar (long story) and 2) it’s already 1:50AM and I’m convinced it’ll be closed and they’ll be right back. As my target’s leaving she FORCES her number on me and is literally feeling me up. She’s drunk at this point, and her BT is sky-high. I joke that I may be asleep by the time she gets back. She freaks out, grabs me and says, “Stay awake. You have to stay awake until I come back.” I throw my arm around her and tell her to hurry up.

Shit’s in the bag, right? What happened was so fucked up. Apparently, my girl, with her BT sky-high ran into some other guy at the bar, and in the 10 minutes they were there, she decided to leave with him. HB7 and Fish’s pivot come back alone 15 minutes later. HB7 says she’s tired and just walks into Fish’s room and lays on his bed. Pivot runs outside to get HB8 for me, but she’s not there. She’s already gone home with random dude from the bar she’s known for literally 10 minutes. OK, that’s annoying.

But then it just gets surreal. Fish decides to go to bed and he asks us beforehand whether he should make a move or let her sleep because she may be sick. I tell him there’s no shame in trying. This is what happened according to him: He goes in there. She wakes up and straight up asks if he minds if she gets naked. Obviously, he’s like, “uhh, sure?” She gets naked and then just climbs on top of him. They begin to fuck and she screams and moans so loud that it wakes up Big on the other side of the apartment.

That’s not it. Fish’s pivot, still trying to get me laid I suppose has been calling HB8 every 10 minutes trying to get her to come back. HB8 claims she’s coming back and pivot tells me to get naked for her. Uhh… I don’t know if I want some random bar dude’s sloppy seconds, but whatever. I doubt she’s coming back anyway. Turns out, she wasn’t.

Meanwhile, HB7 stumbles out of the room. When she hears that HB8 is supposed to come back, she wanders outside, barefoot, in the 20 degree Boston winter, to look for her. Needless to say, HB8 is NOT out there. Mr. Awesome literally runs outside after her. She comes back in, steals Big’s boots, climbs into my futon, cries a few times, asks Mr. Awesome if he needs help with work for his job (it’s 4AM mind you), and then disappears.

In the world of social interaction, there are so many variables, sometimes it’s IMPOSSIBLE to predict what’s going to happen. This is an extreme example, and these are pretty extreme chicks (I’m convinced HB7 was on something tonight). But a lot of guys sit and beat themselves up when something like this happens. In the 30 minutes I spent with HB8, I don’t know if there was more I could have done. I suppose I could have been SLIGHTLY more aggressive, but I was already on pace for a solid 2 hour close or so. Even if I had wanted to go to the bar with them, I couldn’t have. So, what can you do? Meanwhile, Fish’s girl was just on another planet. And he easily capitalized on it.

Crazy fucking world… tomorrow’s another night.

Edit: I seriously think HB7 is crazy. It’s 5:30AM and she just randomly came back out and is hallucinating. She is literally seeing and talking about shit that doesn’t exist. WTF is going on here?