Development, Lifestyle, Personal, Social Circle - Written by Entropy on Friday, August 8, 2008 23:58 - 3 Comments

Disidentifying with my Sex Life

This is another one of those personal posts dealing with the repercussions of living the PUA lifestyle for too long. It’s not glamorous or exciting. It deals with reality and some of the shit I’m struggling with since dedicating the last three years of my life to this pursuit.

I’ve been going out with some of my old college social circles a lot the last few weeks. I’ve been doing it because I’ve felt like I severely lost touch with my old social circles (which used to be wide and prosperous) since I left school and since I started coaching full time.

As you’ve probably noticed from my recent posts about the Post-PUA life, I’ve recognized that a large portion of my identity for the last three years was based on my sexuality and the validation I received from fucking a lot of girls.

I had kind of a disconcerting experience tonight. I hung out with some female friends that I’ve known for a long time. And no matter what we talked about, we seemed to always end up back on topics of my sex life, my sexcapades, and in particalar, the threesomes that I’ve had recently.

This actually started to bug me because these are friends I haven’t hung out to any significant degree in about a year, and I felt like we should talk about something more substantial than the orifices in which I was sticking my cock. But I realized two things. First of all, I had little else to talk about from the last year than my PUA lifestyle (that and my failed attempt in joining the 9-5 work world) and also that my friendships with these girls had ALWAYS largely consisted of me sharing my sexscapades with them. I didn’t realize this until one point when I said, “OK, enough about my sex life, let’s talk about something more interesting.” One of my old friends replied, “But (Entropy), we ALWAYS talk about your sex life.”

I kind of had a realization that this chronic identification and obsession with my sex life, my love life, women and my success with them dates back years and years before I ever was ever conscious of it. This makes sense, as this kind of obsession is what drives us to find the community in the first place.

If there’s a point to this post, I suppose it’s to say to be aware of the identity you’re creating for yourself. I realize now that I’m a successful PUA coach, that my biggest mission is to create a satisfying and exciting lifestyle for myself that DOESN’T revolve 100% around women. I had adopted the identity of the guy who chased ass and hooked up with tons of girls. I thought I had become engulfed with it and began suffering the repercussions of it only recently. But tonight has shown me that it’s been chronic throughout my young adult life for years, that it was only in the last year that I finally noticed it.

So there’s your monthly downer of a post-PUA post. This community and these skills are extremely helpful in your life fellas, but be conscious of what’s driving you to do this stuff. Always remember that life demands balance, and that obsession and dissection of every male/female interaction, no matter how helpful in the short-term, can be unhealthy in the long-term.

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Aug 9, 2008 19:15

Some would murder to have this type of a problem. Thanks for sharing all the same. I will reflect on it.


broken dreams nyc
Aug 11, 2008 12:42

I wish I had that problem.
but for me its frustrating not getting results.I’m still going out though. I heard ciaran stop PU cause of somthing like this.
I glad you posted some stuff on this since I personally want women in my life.

The Eternal Cowboy
Aug 12, 2008 10:59

I’m wondering, what repercussions did you face when you identified with being a successful pick-up artist?

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