First of all… to anyone who has ever thought they’ve seen a big party, you haven’t seen shit. I’ve been to New Year’s Eve in Times Square, some of the biggest Halloween parties, 4th of July parades, etc. Nothing even came close. Mardi Gras? Please… Might as well be a Hallmark card.

Try to imagine this… 2.5 MILLION people partying and dancing in the streets. This is approximately 3-5 times the amount of people who show up for New Year’s Eve in Manhattan each year. It starts at about 3PM in the afternoon and doesn’t even begin to slow down until 5AM in the morning. Oh, and it goes for six straight days. The Brazilian equivalents of U2, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Coldplay, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Jay-Z, The Rolling Stones and Kanye West are all doing outdoor public concerts at different points during the week. Everyone is drunk and everyone is dancing more or less non-stop.

Now, beyond this being almost humanly impossible (I’m still trying to figure out what it is about Brazilians that lets them shake their asses for so well and for so long without collapsing of exhaustion), it’s completely impractical. COMPLETELY impractical. And this is coming from a guy who regularly calls 10-day ventures to Las Vegas “business trips.”

(Technical point: I attended Carnaval in the northern city of Salvador. The difference here is that Carnaval in the southern cities is more about the parades, the costumes and the events. The ones in the north are about the parties and music. All of the tourists and gringos usually go to the ones in the south in Rio and Sao Paulo… the Brazilians all go to the ones in the north, in Salvador and Fortaleza… partly to get away from all of the tourists and gringos who have now taken over Rio with their fanny packs, disposable cameras, bad sunburns.)

So on to the interesting part… the picking up Brazilian girls:

1) Brazilians are obscenely aggressive. As my friend and travel companion put it, “What constitutes flirting here would probably get you arrested in parts of the US.” And that’s not really an exaggeration. Guys would regularly OPEN girls by trying to make out with them, pulling their hair, grabbing them and just dragging them away, etc. This was normal and constant. A particularly hot girl may literally get guys grabbing her and trying to kiss her every 2-3 minutes.

As for the women, they are extremely aggressive as well… if they like you. You know that little eye contact game that US and European girls play with you? Where they may look at you, but if you make eye contact, they look away and pretend they didn’t see you, because it might demonstrate too much interest?

Yeah, Brazilians don’t have that. If a girl is looking at you and you look at her, she will stare you down like you’re a goddamn steak and she hasn’t eaten in months. Sometimes they’ll grab you, grab your ass, caress you — I had one girl follow me for a few blocks and tell me in her horrible English, “You are beautiful man.”

Pretty awesome, right? Well… one thing is universal, and that’s that the chicks who really want you are rarely the ones you want. Not to say ALL of the girls who did this to me were ugly, but uhh… yeah, most of them were… some of them exceedingly so.

2) The idea that all Brazilians are ridiculously hot is a myth. This will probably end up being a post of its own, but I describe the hotness of women in foreign countries in two different ways: mean attractiveness and range of attractiveness. For instance, the US has a very wide range of attractiveness with its women (hideously ugly to total smoke show, often in the same club), whereas continental Europe has a pretty narrow range: most of them are somewhat fit and decent-looking, but it’s rare to see one that just blows your mind.

Brazil has an EXTREMELY wide range. I saw some of the most ridiculously hot girls I’ve seen in months while I was there. I also saw tons of disgustingly hideous creatures. So I don’t think there’s any single blanket statement you can throw over them, as they vary widely. They DO tend to have amazing asses, and they all seem to be born with the ability to shake them better than any white girl ever could. Which is always cool.

3) Making out in Brazil is akin to a handshake. I figured this out the second night I was there, and for about an hour, it was an extremely exciting discovery, but it actually ended up bumming me out.

In a crowded environment with tons of Brazilian girls, machinegun-making out with girls is actually pretty damn easy. You can rack up 2-3 an hour without a whole lot of effort. Just walk around, catch eyes with girls staring at you. If they’re cute, approach them, spit the 2-3 sentences you know in Portuguese, grab her and start making out. Once in a while they head turn you. But rarely. One immediately mentioned having sex somewhere after a mere minutes (didn’t happen; see below).

But the makeout thing is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it’s fun because you can rack up like 12 makeouts in one night if you want. But on the other hand, since it’s so meaningless to them, it never leads anywhere. They almost always just kind of smile and walk away, not really caring either way what just happened.

4) Carnaval logistics are about as bad as they can possibly get. In a way, Carnaval is torture, because it presents you with literally an ENDLESS stream of hot Brazilian girls, for literally 12 hours a day for six days straight, but then offers more or less no possible way to pull them. The only exception I can think of is if you luck out and she knows English and you’re able to get her to invest in the interaction a bit, which I was never fortunate to stumble across.

With 2.5 million people in the streets, it’s unbearably packed in most streets. It’s impossible to move around and takes forever to get anywhere. Our apartment was literally a five minute walk from the parade route in daylight, but took 30-45 minutes to get there at night. Cabs are out of the question because of the crowd, and you constantly get separated from people because of the chaos.

Throw on top of that a SERIOUS language barrier and pushing anything further than about three minutes felt borderline impossible. And with so much mayhem and music going on, and little to no investment in you (making out means nothing, remember?), they get bored and scamper away.

You always need a little luck on your side to get her home

Got a good question on a board recently about handling logistics. I’ll forgo the post and just put up my reply:

SNL’s are all about logistics. Getting a girl to the point that she’s willing to fuck isn’t that hard at night once you have solid game and good escalation. What’s hard is dealing with the logistics.

Again.

SNL’s = Solid Game + Fast Escalation + Logistics

Learning solid game just comes down to practicing and learning to calibrate well. Escalation requires a lot of practice and experience as well. But logistics is a different beast. How do you handle them? First you need to know three things:

Logistics will always:
A) Be completely random and situational
B) Be extremely random
C) Did I mention that they’re random and sometimes there’s nothing you can do?

As a result, you have to just follow a handful of guidelines and then hope for the best.

1) Gather all relevant info. This includes: where she lives, where you live, how she got there, how she’s getting home, how you got there, if she’s sharing a ride, with who, who is she with, how does she know them, when is she going home, can you get her home in the morning, when does she have to be home in the morning, etc., etc.

2) Let HER win her friends over, not you. When it comes to taking a girl home, nothing you say, no matter how charming or cool is going to make you look genuine, “No, really, I just want to show her this cool YouTube video, I promise.” Let HER do the talking. If she’s not willing to appease her friends for you, then you haven’t gamed her well enough.

3) Make decisions and move swiftly. Don’t waffle. Don’t ask her what she wants to do. Gather the pertinent information and make an educated decision. I.e., She came with two friends, one of which is her roommate. She lives 30 minutes away. Have her give her roommate her keys and take her home with you. Tell her what you’re going to do and then do it. If you think the only shot you have is at a bathroom pull or to the car, then do it. Just grab her and go. Make her stop you.

4) Be flexible. Shit happens in night game. REALLY RANDOM SHIT. I’ve had pulls get fucked up because the girl started puking, because her brother suddenly showed up, because her friend started spontaneously crying, because her bridesmaids pulled her away, because her ex-boyfriend punched me in the face, because SHE started spontaneously crying, because she lost her keys and got locked out of her apartment, because the cab took us to the wrong hotel, etc., etc., etc. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED AND ADAPT.

5) Get lucky. Again, shit happens. Deal with it. Sometimes there’s literally nothing you can do.

I’m in set for less than five minutes and some guy comes over and tries to jump right in–

Guy: I couldn’t help but overhear -pause- That you’re -points to girl- adorable and you’re -points to me- really friendly. (I had gone direct on the girl a few minutes before so he had been listening for a while.)
Girl: … I guess?
Guy: I knew it! You know it’s rare when you find someone who is both as good looking -does a subtle self point- and approachable as you. But when you find someone like that you have to at least come over and meet them.
Girl: I’m approachable? Really?

At first I saw this guy as a joke but he just found something that hooked her. For whatever reason telling this girl she’s approachable got her attention.

Guy: Of course! More NLP shit and tries to cold read her.

-I roll my eyes in the girls direction-

Guy: And I saw you’re eye roll and this will be real quick but you seem like you–
Doc: -I cut him off- And you seem like the type of guy who’s using subliminal communication and Neuro-Linguistic Programming to try and get in the middle of what’s going on here.

His face drops and he starts to compliment me while saying he didn’t mean anything by it and has “no idea what Neuro-Linguistic whatever is.” and he walks away.

For the next ten minutes all I can think about is that did some guy really just try to steal my set with Speed Seduction and NLP?

Don’t get me wrong, a wing can ignite your RSD issued, Jeffy approved, GLORY TIMES nimbus, handle obstacles and AMOGs for you, bite the bullet and sleep with the ugly friend, and just all around make your night better.

BUT

In day game I might go out with a guy to shoot the shit with while walking around the mall and whatnot but we never enter each other’s sets.

And since I’m under 21 I don’t do a ton of night game and when I do it’s usually with Saffron. Let’s just say our style’s don’t mesh, he runs around, opens 20 sets, gets 15 phone numbers, and finally picks one to go home with. I take a pass through the venue, look for good logistics, make an educated guess as to which girls have been to rehab, (Something like 4 out of the last 5 girls I’ve slept with have been to rehab for something or another. I used to say I liked “artsy” girls, I think my type is better described as “drug addicted, suicidal, tattooed, chain smoking, American Apparel wearing, high school drop out, who when not cutting herself or watching Thirteen because it’s “about her life,” likes to paint Neo-impressionistic pictures of our names in watercolors or take artsy photos of abandoned alleys, the used needles that line it’s streets, and the graffiti that adorns it’s brick walls.) open about 3 sets, get 2 numbers, and go for the pull.

I think the last time I winged him in set was in a two set of Asian girls about six months ago at a party. He was really into his girl and she was super into him. Her friend hated me, I hated her, and we both knew that we were winging our friend to great personal sacrifice. I don’t remember it ending well…

But back to the subject at hand

Levo brought up a really good point during the talks–

Any sticking points your wing has are automatically brought into your set as soon as he enters it.

His advice was to go out alone until you were getting laid on your own, and then find a wing who’s either at about the same level or better than you.

I experienced this later that same night…

I was originally going to write a whole FR about this night, but I’ve since decided against it.

The long and short of it is that I got two girls to get out of bed at 2AM to come get food, aka have meaningless sex with me and a wing.

Things are going well with my girl but he’s not doing anything with his…

I’m having trouble isolating because he’s not occupying the friend.

We get back to his place, his girl realizes that she got out of bed and isn’t getting dick, understandably gets pissed, and they go home… I have to wait an extra 5 days to try out the cock piercing.

Basically my wing had sexual anxiety and wouldn’t make a move. Logical excuses such as “I’m not into her” came out of his mouth but all boiled down to him being nervous about pulling the trigger… It happens.

Now obviously friends are more important than girls, especially ones you met at the club 2 hours before. Bros before hos is a great saying for a reason.

It’s getting really late and I’m gonna end this…

The point of this drawn out and ill-defined post is pick wings who you work well with and who you know have their shit down because as soon they enter your set all of their sticking points are now your sticking points.

Today was Valentine’s Day and I originally planned to go out. Around 9PM, my roommate Fish told me his pivot was coming over and bringing a few single girls. I had to do a lot of work on my seminar for my upcoming bootcamp anyway, so I figured, cool, I’ll stay in, work and do some social circle game.

They end up not showing up until 1AM. Two friends come and Fish and I decided to split them. One’s an HB8 and one an HB7. I go for the HB8, and within 20 minutes, it’s on. The girl required very little game, no negs, just some jokes, some flirting and some push pull. I kino escalated and within 30 minutes, she was all over me.

Out of nowhere, the girls decide they want to walk to the bar down the street to grab some fries. They have the drunk munchies or something. I decide not to go because 1) I’m banned from the bar (long story) and 2) it’s already 1:50AM and I’m convinced it’ll be closed and they’ll be right back. As my target’s leaving she FORCES her number on me and is literally feeling me up. She’s drunk at this point, and her BT is sky-high. I joke that I may be asleep by the time she gets back. She freaks out, grabs me and says, “Stay awake. You have to stay awake until I come back.” I throw my arm around her and tell her to hurry up.

Shit’s in the bag, right? What happened was so fucked up. Apparently, my girl, with her BT sky-high ran into some other guy at the bar, and in the 10 minutes they were there, she decided to leave with him. HB7 and Fish’s pivot come back alone 15 minutes later. HB7 says she’s tired and just walks into Fish’s room and lays on his bed. Pivot runs outside to get HB8 for me, but she’s not there. She’s already gone home with random dude from the bar she’s known for literally 10 minutes. OK, that’s annoying.

But then it just gets surreal. Fish decides to go to bed and he asks us beforehand whether he should make a move or let her sleep because she may be sick. I tell him there’s no shame in trying. This is what happened according to him: He goes in there. She wakes up and straight up asks if he minds if she gets naked. Obviously, he’s like, “uhh, sure?” She gets naked and then just climbs on top of him. They begin to fuck and she screams and moans so loud that it wakes up Big on the other side of the apartment.

That’s not it. Fish’s pivot, still trying to get me laid I suppose has been calling HB8 every 10 minutes trying to get her to come back. HB8 claims she’s coming back and pivot tells me to get naked for her. Uhh… I don’t know if I want some random bar dude’s sloppy seconds, but whatever. I doubt she’s coming back anyway. Turns out, she wasn’t.

Meanwhile, HB7 stumbles out of the room. When she hears that HB8 is supposed to come back, she wanders outside, barefoot, in the 20 degree Boston winter, to look for her. Needless to say, HB8 is NOT out there. Mr. Awesome literally runs outside after her. She comes back in, steals Big’s boots, climbs into my futon, cries a few times, asks Mr. Awesome if he needs help with work for his job (it’s 4AM mind you), and then disappears.

In the world of social interaction, there are so many variables, sometimes it’s IMPOSSIBLE to predict what’s going to happen. This is an extreme example, and these are pretty extreme chicks (I’m convinced HB7 was on something tonight). But a lot of guys sit and beat themselves up when something like this happens. In the 30 minutes I spent with HB8, I don’t know if there was more I could have done. I suppose I could have been SLIGHTLY more aggressive, but I was already on pace for a solid 2 hour close or so. Even if I had wanted to go to the bar with them, I couldn’t have. So, what can you do? Meanwhile, Fish’s girl was just on another planet. And he easily capitalized on it.

Crazy fucking world… tomorrow’s another night.

Edit: I seriously think HB7 is crazy. It’s 5:30AM and she just randomly came back out and is hallucinating. She is literally seeing and talking about shit that doesn’t exist. WTF is going on here?