I argue two things: 1) Overcoming anxiety and 2) calibration.

If you focus on those two things, everything else will fall into place through time and experience. It will all take care of itself. Body language will begin to project strong, confident posture, guys will start to behave dominantly and aggressively, connections will become stronger. I could go on and on… these are all side effects to mastering the two skills above. This raised a discussion on the local Boston board after I gave the talk to the group there. Below is an abridged version of my responses to that discussion:

“If half the stuff doesn’t matter, and we don’t bother to address them, how can we improve ourselves? Like you said, you did a fair amount of “game bashing” at the seminar. But you’re at a level that all your skills learned flows out of you. I’m at a level where I’m thinking this, slipping here, fumbling there. If I adopted the “it doesn’t matter” mantra, I’d never improve, and thus never get laid.

What do you recommend, then, for guys who are starting out?”

I guess I didn’t explain myself well enough in the seminar because that’s not what I meant at all.

Of course you still need to learn things. That’s the calibration part. Learning to be calibrated with women is a huge part of it. But you’re still falling into the (erroneous) mindset that pick up is something that is studied and mastered… it’s not. It’s something that is DONE and PRACTICED. You will never master it. And you will never ever completely know the “right” way to do it. You will just learn what is “better” for you, and this will be learned through experience.

The greatest component of your improvement is going to come from pushing through those moments of “oh shit, I don’t know what to do next,” and trying something, ANYTHING, with the full realization that it probably won’t work the first time. The biggest component of your improvement is directly proportional to how much you can overcome your fear and anxieties with women.

This thread is a perfect example. [Name redacted] is asking a lot of trivial and unimportant questions about shit tests and why girls do them. In the end, the only thing holding him back is the fact he cares so much about shit tests. For whatever reason, they trigger a lot of fear and anxiety in him. If you stop caring about shit tests, they cease to be a factor.

If you stop worrying about exactly what day to follow up and what voicemail to leave, then it won’t be a factor anymore. It’s trivial.
If you stop worrying about whether you’re escalating in the right place or not, then it won’t be a factor anymore. It’s trivial.
If you stop worrying about what exactly to open sets with, then it won’t be a factor anymore. It’s trivial.

This drive to control and understand everything prior to doing it is just a product of our fear to ACTUALLY DO IT. Dude, girls don’t care what you open them with. They don’t care what order you touch them in. They don’t care which day you call them on. Seriously…

What I’m prescribing is the “Ready, Fire, Aim” approach to pick up. Action without thought is better than thought without action. Follow the 50% Rule; i.e., make sure you’re consistently pushing all of your interactions forward, and then apply the lessons of calibration to them afterward.

AFTER you’ve tried and failed, is when you go back and say, “OK, what could I have done better?” or “Why did she react that way?”

Until that point, any analysis or worrying about what to do is just a product of your fear — fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, fear of sexuality, etc.

So to answer your question, what I do with newbies, is I give them very simple and basic outlines of what to do, and then continually push them to be as aggressive as possible. Once they’ve gone out and tried a bunch of stuff (most of which completely freaks them out), then we take a minute and discuss why it worked or didn’t work. More often than not, their results improve extremely quickly.

———————

I’ve been heavily and deeply influenced by my time overseas the last year. Not only the various cultures and wide array of new experiences, but my time hanging out with various naturals, and now having more experience coaching on my own for the last year and a half. This blog will soon be converted over into a new blog on another domain. All of the material over there will reflect this new perspective on everything. For once, the name I’ve used since I begun coaching, “Practical Pick Up” will finally earn its namesake.

I’m done screwing around with a lot of the horseshit that passes for “theory” in this community. I’m interested in what works… nothing more, nothing less. And for the first time in my life, I think I finally have a strong grasp on the essence of “what works.” It doesn’t involve spirituality, meditation, state pumps, lording clubs, social proof, routines, games, looks, qualification, pacing, letting go of your ego, fast escalation or any of that. These things are all side-effects and/or minor boosts. They should not be your focus.

What DOES work is the systematic identification and destruction of one’s sexual anxieties, followed by practical reflection on which behaviors work and don’t work for you. Not what behaviors work for me. Not which behaviors worked for Neil Strauss or Mystery, but for you.

When the move occurs, I’ll be removing almost all posts on my personal experiences and will definitely be deleting the random posts. To some, the subjects I will write about on the new blog may seem elementary on the surface, but there will be reasons that I will start over from the beginning.

After five years, and over 400 posts, I feel like I’m just now beginning to share what I’m capable of teaching.

The following article hypothesizes that whacking it to pornography too much can INCREASE your social and sexual anxieties, as well as decrease your motivation.

Was the Cowardly Lion Just Masturbating Too Much?

Interesting stuff. Any input from readers is welcome.

In general, talking about yourself is a poor way of relating to other people’s experiences unless there’s a clear emotional parallel (emphasis on EMOTIONAL, not situational). In the end, the emotional rapport is all that matters. Facts and situations are all replaceable.

Example:
Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “My dog died. I didn’t really care.”

= POOR WAY TO RELATE

Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “My cat died last year. I didn’t leave the house for two days afterward. Losing a pet is awful.”

= BETTER WAY TO RELATE

Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “That’s awful. *hug* I’m really sorry. Here, drinks on me… and we’ll toast to the best damn dog there’s ever been. May she rest in peace.”

= BEST WAY TO RELATE

Generally people who only relate to others by talking about themselves, are really just using situations as opportunities to seek validation and attention. How do I know this? I used to do this all the time and still have to stop myself quite a bit (especially when I’m drunk).

Also, when you’re constantly in this mode of only relating to people on a very surface level, your perception will be that everyone else just talks about themselves as well… why? Because they’re not talking about you! And you is the only thing you can relate to.

And here’s something to try in-field… see how long you can hold a conversation with a girl without telling her a single thing about yourself. The results will surprise you (ironically, they usually end up thinking you’re the most understanding and insightful person they’ve ever met).

I dealt with this in spades recently. I gamed a little bit while having a girlfriend, but even then, I probably only averaged 1-2 sets a week for two entire years, and I rarely pursued any of the women further than the first couple minutes.

So becoming single again at the end of last year was a big shock to my system. I felt completely different — in some ways better and in some ways way worse. Some things came back easily, some still feel like they haven’t really come back, and just seem completely different from before.

Since then, I’ve talked to a number of students who have had the exact same issues, and we’ve talked a lot about how to overcome them. So here’s a nice little laundry list. If you’re currently rusty, hopefully this will help you shake it off. If you’re currently taking a break or in an “off” period, this is what you can expect when you come back.

I’ll take each skill one by one and talk about how I think they’re effected by a long break.

Lifestyle/Inner Game: Generally improves while you’re away. Whether you left for a relationship, to get your career in order, or to just relax and explore other hobbies, you generally come back with a more solid foundation.

Approaching: This is the first and most obvious thing that you lose. Approach anxiety definitely comes back, but the good news here is that getting over it comes back just as fast as well. Usually within 4-5 approaches and you’re more or less where you left off. 1-2 days to recover this tops.

Connecting: I find this gets better while you’re away from the game if you were in a relationship. A girlfriend will emotionally open you up and make you more sensitive and calibrated to the emotions of others around you. If you weren’t in a relationship, this was breakeven.

Flirting: This one takes a bit longer. When you’ve been away, you get very accustomed to non-sexual and plain friendly conversations. As a result, the next issue you usually hit coming back after getting the approaching back is the, “we had a nice 45 minute boring conversation about our jobs,” — i.e., you become the friend zone guy again, i.e., she never calls you back.

Good news, is again, this comes back kind of like riding a bike. I’d say 4-5 nights out tops, and you’re going at 90% of where you used to be. Just take a couple nights, or maybe about 10 sets and focus on teasing the hell out of them and seeing what happens.

Follow Up: This one will mind-fuck you for a while. Depending on how long you were away, all of the second-guessing and awkwardness of following up with girls comes back. This one really drove me nuts and made me feel like a newbie again for a few weeks. Just remember to trust your gut, you’ll doubt yourself, but just go with it. Eventually you’ll fall back into a comfortable groove of calling and texting the girls you meet.

Escalation: Here’s the biggie. For whatever reason, the single hardest thing to work up when you’ve lost it is your sexual aggression. The habit takes massive repetition and concerted effort. The first 4-6 weeks I started going out again, I can’t tell you how many times I lost a lay because I simply wasn’t pushing things hard enough where I should have… and recognizing that afterward created massive frustration. But hey, just use that frustration to promise yourself that you won’t let it happen again.

This eventually comes back, but it’s definitely the most long and painful part of the process. Still at two months going out again, I still feel like I’m only at maybe 85% aggression that I used to be at.

He recently released his first book, and to help the dude out, I shot him off some email interview questions for you guys. We talk about new ways to look at approach anxiety, the idea of “balance” in picking up, and what NYC models are like. Enjoy

1. Since you’re kind of a newer guy on the national scene, can you give everyone a brief introduction of yourself, what (or who) you do, and maybe a brief description on your specialty and strengths when it comes to women?

Sure. I’ve been a lover of womankind since I popped my first boner. Unfortunately, I spent the better part of the first two decades of my life neutered by “nice guy” tendencies. My only goal when I entered the pickup community was to meet a nice girlfriend I could introduce to mom. The events that have transpired as a byproduct of that goal would be so utterly revolting to my devoutly Catholic mother that it defies irony like peacocking defies dignity.

Essentially, the strength of my game (and my teaching) rests on complete, unflinching normalcy. I find it hard to believe that a man hooking up with a woman has become such a complicated, nuanced affair—yet I once believed it. I suppose my last big “epiphany” occurred when I realized most guys in the pickup community prefer to love game in place of loving actual girls.

Maybe to fully grasp that, a guy has to go through those phases of bizarre behavior and “incongruence.” I did. But, when I came out on the other side, I sifted away the nonsense, buffoonery, and boldfaced lies in order to fully celebrate my throbbing love of women with lewd and inappropriate acts. (Sorry mom.)

Essentially, a guy needs to decide whether he loves game or he loves hot women. At this point, I can only help the latter group. If you need more time to realize this, I understand. I was there once too—find me when you’re ready.

As a “newer guy on the scene,” my sole purpose is to dramatically reduce the time, effort, and embarrassment my students need to endure before they realize their full potential in meeting, attracting, dating, and (most importantly) keeping the women they REALLY want. As the community evolves, the amount of time a guy needs to learn “game” will contract while his potential will expand.

2. As you know, these days the PUA community has like 32910 different “models” or “methods” to break down pickup. In your book, you talk about the “4 Elements of Game.” What makes your approach different and why should guys out there care about it?

Yes, I’m proud to say that after the publication of my book, the PUA community now has 32911 “models” to break down pickup.

Well, first I’ll tell you what my system is NOT: it does NOT have its own lingo, it does NOT force you to act weird or awkward, it does NOT proclaim picking up girls is achieved by living in egoless nirvana, and it does NOT involve penis pumps of ANY kind.

My “4-EG System” (btw, the nerd in me had to give it a dorky-sounding name, sorry!) is so simple I can’t believe no one else has uncovered it before me. In its essence, it’s founded the two essential factors of ANY pickup: TENSION and RELEASE. To give a quick small-scale example, when you step up to a girl and say she’s hot, it creates tension. If you’re smiling as you say it, there’s a release.

The complimentary factors of tension and release constantly cycle throughout an interaction. Any guy who’s talked to a babe knows that when there’s too much tension things get awkward and/or creepy; when there’s too much release things get friendly and/or nonsexual.

Building on that foundation, I realized there are two “elements” of attraction that create tension (DRIVE and MECHANICS) and two elements that allow release (INSPIRATION and CONNECTION). Not only that, but the elements form an “axis” where DRIVE opposes INSPIRATION and MECHANICS opposes CONNECTION.

Think about it: you can’t be genuinely getting to know a woman (connection) if you’re constantly thinking what you should do next (mechanics). Likewise, you can’t be flirting with a woman and bantering with her (inspiration) if you’re putting the moves on her and getting physical (drive). There’s a time and a place for each element.

The key, however, is BALANCE.

A guy can overcome his “sticking points” when the girl’s in front of him (not later on the Internet, with a bunch of dudes) just by assessing where he is in relation to the 4-EG system. It’s not incredibly complicated: if you’re “coming on too strong,” you know to counter-balance your drive with inspiration. Similarly, if you’re bordering on becoming “friend zone” guy, you step up your mechanics.

This system is so frighteningly simple that learning it puts you in serious danger of having amazing sex with lots of hot chicks in very little time. As I said before, that might not be your thing. But for guys who want to hookup with hot girls while acting totally normal, I’m leading the next generation of “PUAs” into the “date hotter girls” movement. We’re all about balance and babes.

3. My favorite concept in the book is the idea of “Approaching for Truth.” As a guy who had absolutely horrible Approach Anxiety when he started out, I wish that section had been written 4-5 years ago. It would have saved me many a frustrated and lonely nights. Can you talk about it and the idea behind it?

I appreciate that, bro. The concept of approaching for truth comes from the age-old “try/try not” paradox men have struggled with since the dawn of sex. That paradox goes something like this: if you try to get girls, you usually fail because it’s obvious you’re trying; however, if you “don’t” try to get girls, it’s still trying (because you’re trying not to try) so you still fail. The pickup community has thrown gasoline on that fire as the whole community is based on “trying” yet we all know that’s “try-hard” (so it’s gonna fail).

One attempt to solve this dilemma is the old “abundance mentality” adage: you should approach women like you have a harem of babes bouncing off your cock at all times to sidestep seeming like you’re trying. Hmm…that makes perfect logical sense…EXCEPT THAT MOST GUYS DON’T HAVE A HAREM OF BABES BOUCNING OFF THEIR COCKS AT ALL TIMES.

Whenever people advise you to adopt a mentality that’s built on bullshit, please see it for it is: BULLSHIT.

Essentially, you can’t “try” and you can’t “not try”—so then, how does anyone get results? Well, I really had to ponder that. I not only dissected my own thoughts, I also paid attention when I was around guys like you, Entropy, among the other lady-getting, extraordinary gentlemen my journey has afforded me the pleasure of meeting. Eventually I noticed a pattern: guys who get girls don’t approach for validation or for a “skillset” or for ANY other reason than to get at the core TRUTH.

This mentality is why the “good” guys can have a girl attracted from the opener. It’s also why when they do get “rejected,” they can laugh it off, not letting it affect them one bit. When you’re approaching for truth, you’re taking yourself out of the equation. You’re approaching for something deeper and more significant than anything the community has defined; yet you’re also approaching with less anxiety to force an outcome or feeling a need to prove yourself to a stranger. You’re still trying, but it’s a refocused trying—it’s an attractive trying.

I know this all sounds very philosophical and abstract; although, to simplify all the aforementioned nonsense, buffoonery, and boldfaced lies that haunt the male brain, these mind-shifts are absolutely necessary. It reorients your behavior to its simplest, most attractive, and most potent form.

4. You’re fortunate enough to live in Manhattan, one of the model capitals in the world. I’ve seen you and Zack both running around with a couple on your arms in the last year. In just a few sentences, what would you say the biggest difference/challenge to overcome with higher caliber girls is, and that most guys fuck up?

HA! This question made me see myself as some sort of octopus with tentacles wrapped around a bunch of svelte models. Anyway, yeah, we’re incredibly lucky to live in a city brimming jaw-dropping beauties. To wrap this up in a few sentences, its true what you hear, “Picking up a hot girl is actually easier than picking up a so-so girl.”

Although, I always want to punch in the face the people who say that since they never explain what that means. Incredibly attractive women get approached often, but they get approached by guys who are approaching the “idea of the hot girl,” rather than the hot girl herself. That means they’re approaching her because they believe it’ll get them status, cool stories to tell their friends, or just because they think they should (since she’s hot). Most guys don’t even realize they’re doing it—it’s purely unconscious.

To actually approach the “hot girl herself” goes back to the “approaching for truth” idea (as it relates to the “drive element”). If you approach a hot girl with drive, then curiosity about her is a natural byproduct. When I see a hot girl walking down the street, I don’t think, “Wow, that’s a hot chick so I should approach her.” I think, “Awesome! This girl is HOT! I gotta find out how this is gonna turn out…” I may get her. I may not. However, I’m NOT going to walk on eggshells because I’m trying to preserve this ridiculous “idea” of the girl; instead I’m going to cut right to the truth. THAT’s how you get the mega-hotties—unless of course you’re Eliot Spitzer.

Big thanks to Entropy for the opportunity to share what I’ve learned! I hope reading this has gotten you one step closer to the babes of your dreams!

If you’d like to learn more about Rob or check out his new book, you can go here.

- Who Cares More?
- Topic Dictator
- Laugh at Herself

Check it out here if you’re interested. Yes, I’m selling shit on that page, but what I’m selling is absolutely awesome, and I give away tons of shit for free already, so suck it.

Back this weekend, hopefully with some good stories. Mark wants to fuck.

My question is about a girl I’m trying to hook up with but I haven’t really dealt with this type of girl before and Im kinda lost.  She seems pretty prudish, definitely was a tom boy when she was younger (couldn’t tell that at all by looking at her) and still kinda has that mentality about her, and is also very smart.  Its the prudishness and tomboy-ness I don’t really know how to tackle… I also get the feeling like Im over gaming much of the time, whats a sure fire way of knowing if your over gaming a girl??

There are two questions in one here, and I’ll deal with them one at a time. The first is a great one, “How do I know if I’m overgaming a girl?” and the second has to do with personality types of women.

First, we have to define what “over-gaming” means. Over-gaming is basically when you are still hitting on a girl when she already likes you and it backfires.

For instance, the classic case of overgaming happens on dates. Guys will spend a lot of time and effort building attraction when they meet a woman and over the phone. Finally, they get there and the woman shows up on a date, but instead of moving things forward by escalating or entering into deeper rapport, they continue to try and tease/neg/disqualify/whatever-your-favorite-pua-tactic-is-today.

This ends up backfiring, as the girl is ready to move things forward, but is confused that you just keep flirting with her without doing anything else.

Women respond to this in a very ambivalent way… they’ll still flirt back with you (because they DO like you), but they’ll also become a bit frustrated by the whole situation, so they’ll pull back at times as well.

This ends up confusing a lot of lesser experienced guys because all the sudden it seems like this chick that was into them is getting annoyed by them.

Some here’s a checklist to know if you’re overgaming a girl:
1. You’ve been flirting with her for a long time and she’s flirted back, showing interest.
2. You have not escalated beyond very basic touching.
3. She’s suddenly giving you mixed signals — i.e., not returning calls, flaking on you when she didn’t used to, not flirting back like she used to.

The other part of your question that’s interesting has to do with the fact that she’s a bit of a “tomboy.”

A lot of times, women who have always had a lot of male friends or hung out with a lot of guys are hard to read. They kind of act like a guy in a lot of ways, so what would be considered flirting from a typical girl is just kind of a tomboy’s way of hanging out.

I’ve found that you typically need to be more aggressive and direct with these girls, as they’re not quite as savvy to the whole flirting and escalation thing. If you really like them, you need to make a strong move and usually they’ll get nervous (as they’re not used to being in such a feminine role) and either completely melt under you, or try to divert your advancements.

One of the main areas of female psychology that the pick up community hasn’t really touched is that of “personality types” and how it fits into how you should game a girl.

Over the years, living in Boston, I’ve bumped into Vin DiCarlo and his coaches here and there. And he’s actually spent the better part of the last year dedicated to this idea of personality types.

I’ve always been a big champion of the idea that no two guys are the same, so no two guys should game the exact same way.

Well, Vin has been coming at it from another angle: that no two WOMEN are the same, and so you can’t game them all the same. He’s come up with some brand new material, released just this week, based on the personality types of various women.

Check it out here

And if you think about it, we’re constantly talking about how “this girl is this type of girl, that girl is that type of girl, etc.” but no one’s ever taken the time to hone in on the exact psychological factors that go into these psychological factors.

A shy girl is not the same as the bubbly club girl is not the same as the intellectual girl at the library, etc.

I’ll be writing up another article soon elaborating on my thoughts about this. But if you want to check out some of Vin’s material on the subject (which you should), he’s giving away a free new ebook (only requires your email), which you can check it out here:

Vin DiCarlo’s New Female Psychological Profiles

Now, I generally have two skepticisms about Phone/Text Game or any “material” for it…

1. As with most things in game… I subscribe to the idea that, “What is simplest is best,” and with phone/text game, what is simplest shouldn’t take up more than maybe 10-20 pages at most. In fact, I only spent a measly 24 pages on it in my first book.

2. The fact that most follow up game should be a reflection of your ACTUAL game, or I guess, an extension of the game you ran on her when you met her. So, again, as with most things in pick up, I don’t know if there’s a “one-size-fits-all” model to it that any guy can apply.

Well, I have to be honest, I was pleasantly surprised by the book. It’s actually pretty damn comprehensive. It covers the basics that everyone needs to know, like time-bridging, preventing flakes, building basic attraction through texts, when to call/text, etc.

But it also does a great job of explaining the CONCEPTS behind everything. And as all you guys should know by now, I’m a huge fan of explaining the principles, rather than just tossing out hundreds of pages of routines.

In particular, they do a great job of explaining the idea of “investment,” and how to follow up game really comes down to managing how invested she is in the interaction. If she has a low level of investment, then you need to raise it through gaming her more. If she has a high level of investment, then you need to arrange to meet up with her ASAP.

Most people gloss over this concept and how to recognize it, when I actually think it’s probably the SINGLE KEY to all of follow up game. In fact, I spend a lot of time talking about it in my Conversation Demolitions as well, but I don’t think I ever explained as succinctly or as well as Braddock did here.

Braddock also did a solid job of providing some example texts conversations from his own life to illustrate the points.

So anyway, it’s a good book. I think if follow up game is your one major sticking point, then it’s probably a good investment as it’s extremely thorough. If it’s not your major sticking point or you’re already getting solid results, then it’s probably not necessary, but could probably point out a few blind spots or things your missing.

Overall: Solid B+

The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game

If you have solid game, you should be closing 90+% of your first dates.

I’ve had girls who claim to me, “I don’t kiss on the first date,” shack up the first night. I had a virgin sleep with me the first night. It’s really only the extreme situations where she won’t sleep with you.

If you aren’t achieving these kinds of results, then the first thing you need to do is go to the landing page of this blog and get the free download on first dates. All you have to do is put in your email on the right side of the page.

The reason is you’re probably not taking care of at least one of the fundamentals of first dates:

1. You take her to a dinner and/or movie instead of somewhere actually cool and fun.
2. You’re doing lunch/afternoon dates.
3. You don’t venue change at least twice during the date.
4. You aren’t planning to get her back to your place or to get back to hers as part of the date.

This is all just fundamental logistical stuff that you should be doing every time without even thinking. If you aren’t, then get that free download and it will explain everything.

If you do all of that stuff but aren’t closing consistently, then you’re just not escalating quickly enough.

There is no excuse for not escalating on a date. Ever.

Here’s my reasoning when a woman actually comes on a date with me. Look, most women flake. I talk about THAT percentage a lot too. I don’t care how good you get, how tight your game is, you’re always going to have 50+% of your numbers flake on you. Usually a much higher percentage than that.

So those minority of numbers that actually come through and meet up with you, what does that tell us about those women?

THEY REALLY LIKE YOU… ALREADY.

This is the biggest mistake guys make. They get on the date and they think they need to keep proving themselves and build more attraction. I’ve always taken the mind set, “The fact she even showed up means she’s already attracted enough to sleep with me.”

From that frame, the reality of the situation becomes painfully obvious: you now have 3-4 hours alone with a woman who’s already attracted enough to sleep with you. You have no excuse for not making something happen.

From there it really is just a matter of escalating. Just to give you a bit of a roadmap, I usually try to kiss within the first hour or two if you didn’t kiss her the night you met her. If you kissed her the night you met her, then you should be kissing her by the 30 minute mark.

From there, you should have the entire second half of the date to escalate from kissing to sex. That is AN ETERNITY.

Aside from the constant, yet paced escalation, you should be spending the entire time building comfort. Again, you have a solid 3-4 hours of comfort building here, which is far more than enough time to build enough comfort. You shouldn’t be getting LMR from your dates either. If you do, then you’re coming across incongruent or they don’t know if you really like them or not.

Way back when I started, dates intimidated me and I didn’t always do that well on them. But as got more experienced doing tons of night game, where you have to build attraction, comfort and escalate sometimes with 10 minutes, having the 3-4 hour window and the girl to myself became really easy.

Now it’s almost not even fair. 3-4 hours alone with a girl who’s already attracted to me? She’s done! She doesn’t even know it yet, but she has no chance.

Again, this isn’t any superhuman skill. I know a lot of regular guys who have only been doing this a year or two who close this consistently on day 2’s as well. If you’re having trouble then you should read this post and then download that free PDF for first dates.

First off, love the blog. It’s a great resource.

Thanks in advance,
Xander

Yes, that’s 90+% on first dates. Unless you’re older (35 and up), I’d say you should be closing consistently at this rate. If you’re not, it means you’re not escalating quickly enough.

As for follow-up, it changes things in a couple ways. It creates more of a “relationship” frame versus a “fun hookup” frame. So she’s going to naturally want to take things more romantically, be more sensual and emotional about everything.

The biggest reason I tell guys to sleep with women on the first date is because once sex is out of the way, it gives everyone so much more leg-room as far as establishing the relationship moving forward. Expectations don’t get so built up. If a woman has sex with you, you KNOW she’s going to call back, whereas you can never be sure if you don’t.

If by chance you don’t hook up on the first date, I’ll contact her sooner than I would otherwise, as she’s not as invested in you yet. Typically I’ll always contact a woman after the first date with a text or something, and then schedule the next date after 3-5 days. If I don’t sleep with her, I may cut that down to 2-3 days.

Hey Entropy,

I just finished Man on Campus. It’s great. But I just recently transferred to a new school and will be coming in as a junior. How does this change the dynamic of my college game?

Nathan

Good question, and I can’t believe I didn’t address this in the course considering I was a transfer student in college.

When you transfer in, you have a big advantage and then a big disadvantage. The advantage is that you’re an upper classman, you have easier access to alcohol, probably have your own place, etc. So logistically you’re better off.

The disadvantage is that you don’t get the dorm experience, so you don’t have all of those insta-friends that underclassmen get when they first come in Freshman and/or sophomore year.

So I would just focus a lot more on meeting people through extra-curricular activities and classes. It may take a little more time, but considering your better logistical situation, it’ll pay off faster.