He recently released his first book, and to help the dude out, I shot him off some email interview questions for you guys. We talk about new ways to look at approach anxiety, the idea of “balance” in picking up, and what NYC models are like. Enjoy

1. Since you’re kind of a newer guy on the national scene, can you give everyone a brief introduction of yourself, what (or who) you do, and maybe a brief description on your specialty and strengths when it comes to women?

Sure. I’ve been a lover of womankind since I popped my first boner. Unfortunately, I spent the better part of the first two decades of my life neutered by “nice guy” tendencies. My only goal when I entered the pickup community was to meet a nice girlfriend I could introduce to mom. The events that have transpired as a byproduct of that goal would be so utterly revolting to my devoutly Catholic mother that it defies irony like peacocking defies dignity.

Essentially, the strength of my game (and my teaching) rests on complete, unflinching normalcy. I find it hard to believe that a man hooking up with a woman has become such a complicated, nuanced affair—yet I once believed it. I suppose my last big “epiphany” occurred when I realized most guys in the pickup community prefer to love game in place of loving actual girls.

Maybe to fully grasp that, a guy has to go through those phases of bizarre behavior and “incongruence.” I did. But, when I came out on the other side, I sifted away the nonsense, buffoonery, and boldfaced lies in order to fully celebrate my throbbing love of women with lewd and inappropriate acts. (Sorry mom.)

Essentially, a guy needs to decide whether he loves game or he loves hot women. At this point, I can only help the latter group. If you need more time to realize this, I understand. I was there once too—find me when you’re ready.

As a “newer guy on the scene,” my sole purpose is to dramatically reduce the time, effort, and embarrassment my students need to endure before they realize their full potential in meeting, attracting, dating, and (most importantly) keeping the women they REALLY want. As the community evolves, the amount of time a guy needs to learn “game” will contract while his potential will expand.

2. As you know, these days the PUA community has like 32910 different “models” or “methods” to break down pickup. In your book, you talk about the “4 Elements of Game.” What makes your approach different and why should guys out there care about it?

Yes, I’m proud to say that after the publication of my book, the PUA community now has 32911 “models” to break down pickup.

Well, first I’ll tell you what my system is NOT: it does NOT have its own lingo, it does NOT force you to act weird or awkward, it does NOT proclaim picking up girls is achieved by living in egoless nirvana, and it does NOT involve penis pumps of ANY kind.

My “4-EG System” (btw, the nerd in me had to give it a dorky-sounding name, sorry!) is so simple I can’t believe no one else has uncovered it before me. In its essence, it’s founded the two essential factors of ANY pickup: TENSION and RELEASE. To give a quick small-scale example, when you step up to a girl and say she’s hot, it creates tension. If you’re smiling as you say it, there’s a release.

The complimentary factors of tension and release constantly cycle throughout an interaction. Any guy who’s talked to a babe knows that when there’s too much tension things get awkward and/or creepy; when there’s too much release things get friendly and/or nonsexual.

Building on that foundation, I realized there are two “elements” of attraction that create tension (DRIVE and MECHANICS) and two elements that allow release (INSPIRATION and CONNECTION). Not only that, but the elements form an “axis” where DRIVE opposes INSPIRATION and MECHANICS opposes CONNECTION.

Think about it: you can’t be genuinely getting to know a woman (connection) if you’re constantly thinking what you should do next (mechanics). Likewise, you can’t be flirting with a woman and bantering with her (inspiration) if you’re putting the moves on her and getting physical (drive). There’s a time and a place for each element.

The key, however, is BALANCE.

A guy can overcome his “sticking points” when the girl’s in front of him (not later on the Internet, with a bunch of dudes) just by assessing where he is in relation to the 4-EG system. It’s not incredibly complicated: if you’re “coming on too strong,” you know to counter-balance your drive with inspiration. Similarly, if you’re bordering on becoming “friend zone” guy, you step up your mechanics.

This system is so frighteningly simple that learning it puts you in serious danger of having amazing sex with lots of hot chicks in very little time. As I said before, that might not be your thing. But for guys who want to hookup with hot girls while acting totally normal, I’m leading the next generation of “PUAs” into the “date hotter girls” movement. We’re all about balance and babes.

3. My favorite concept in the book is the idea of “Approaching for Truth.” As a guy who had absolutely horrible Approach Anxiety when he started out, I wish that section had been written 4-5 years ago. It would have saved me many a frustrated and lonely nights. Can you talk about it and the idea behind it?

I appreciate that, bro. The concept of approaching for truth comes from the age-old “try/try not” paradox men have struggled with since the dawn of sex. That paradox goes something like this: if you try to get girls, you usually fail because it’s obvious you’re trying; however, if you “don’t” try to get girls, it’s still trying (because you’re trying not to try) so you still fail. The pickup community has thrown gasoline on that fire as the whole community is based on “trying” yet we all know that’s “try-hard” (so it’s gonna fail).

One attempt to solve this dilemma is the old “abundance mentality” adage: you should approach women like you have a harem of babes bouncing off your cock at all times to sidestep seeming like you’re trying. Hmm…that makes perfect logical sense…EXCEPT THAT MOST GUYS DON’T HAVE A HAREM OF BABES BOUCNING OFF THEIR COCKS AT ALL TIMES.

Whenever people advise you to adopt a mentality that’s built on bullshit, please see it for it is: BULLSHIT.

Essentially, you can’t “try” and you can’t “not try”—so then, how does anyone get results? Well, I really had to ponder that. I not only dissected my own thoughts, I also paid attention when I was around guys like you, Entropy, among the other lady-getting, extraordinary gentlemen my journey has afforded me the pleasure of meeting. Eventually I noticed a pattern: guys who get girls don’t approach for validation or for a “skillset” or for ANY other reason than to get at the core TRUTH.

This mentality is why the “good” guys can have a girl attracted from the opener. It’s also why when they do get “rejected,” they can laugh it off, not letting it affect them one bit. When you’re approaching for truth, you’re taking yourself out of the equation. You’re approaching for something deeper and more significant than anything the community has defined; yet you’re also approaching with less anxiety to force an outcome or feeling a need to prove yourself to a stranger. You’re still trying, but it’s a refocused trying—it’s an attractive trying.

I know this all sounds very philosophical and abstract; although, to simplify all the aforementioned nonsense, buffoonery, and boldfaced lies that haunt the male brain, these mind-shifts are absolutely necessary. It reorients your behavior to its simplest, most attractive, and most potent form.

4. You’re fortunate enough to live in Manhattan, one of the model capitals in the world. I’ve seen you and Zack both running around with a couple on your arms in the last year. In just a few sentences, what would you say the biggest difference/challenge to overcome with higher caliber girls is, and that most guys fuck up?

HA! This question made me see myself as some sort of octopus with tentacles wrapped around a bunch of svelte models. Anyway, yeah, we’re incredibly lucky to live in a city brimming jaw-dropping beauties. To wrap this up in a few sentences, its true what you hear, “Picking up a hot girl is actually easier than picking up a so-so girl.”

Although, I always want to punch in the face the people who say that since they never explain what that means. Incredibly attractive women get approached often, but they get approached by guys who are approaching the “idea of the hot girl,” rather than the hot girl herself. That means they’re approaching her because they believe it’ll get them status, cool stories to tell their friends, or just because they think they should (since she’s hot). Most guys don’t even realize they’re doing it—it’s purely unconscious.

To actually approach the “hot girl herself” goes back to the “approaching for truth” idea (as it relates to the “drive element”). If you approach a hot girl with drive, then curiosity about her is a natural byproduct. When I see a hot girl walking down the street, I don’t think, “Wow, that’s a hot chick so I should approach her.” I think, “Awesome! This girl is HOT! I gotta find out how this is gonna turn out…” I may get her. I may not. However, I’m NOT going to walk on eggshells because I’m trying to preserve this ridiculous “idea” of the girl; instead I’m going to cut right to the truth. THAT’s how you get the mega-hotties—unless of course you’re Eliot Spitzer.

Big thanks to Entropy for the opportunity to share what I’ve learned! I hope reading this has gotten you one step closer to the babes of your dreams!

If you’d like to learn more about Rob or check out his new book, you can go here.

Hi Entropy,

Thanks,
Lore

Going direct on a girl in mixed sets will have one of two reactions, and it’s completely based on your non-verbals and first impression to the group. The guys will either get very defensive and engage you or they’ll back down and completely leave you alone. Unfortunately, a lot of this has to do with whether a) they want the girl or not and b) whether they think they could kick your ass if they had to or not.

I avoid the super-direct stuff for mixed sets. Mixed sets, I find engaging the guys first and then talking to the girls works the best. When you engage the girls first, the guys usually put their guard up and try to AMOG your or whatever (I hate that term). Indirect openers work well for mixed sets.

Hey Mark, I think the subjects says it all. I’ve been meeting girls that somehow hit on me and they are doable but their personallity is… how can I say it…. shallow?, not interesting, etc. Some of them are so dumb that I don’t want to interact too much with them but I’d like to fuck them, or at least try to. But How can I build comfort with somebody that I’m not really interested emotionally? Forget the moral part of the subject, please!

Unfortunately, a lot of women will fall into this category. I literally had a girl answer the question, “What’s your biggest passion in life? What do you love to do more than anything?” with, “Watch reality television.” She was serious too. To answer your question, just get her to talk about herself a lot. Even if you’re not interested, get her to go on and on about herself. Everyone’s favorite conversation topic is themselves, and the more you get her to talk about it, the more she’ll feel connected to you.

I have a question/problem about monogamy and having sex whenever and however I want. Maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way, but here’s how I see it. Whenever I’m dating more girl at a time, and one of them doesn’t want to have sex at some particular point in time, or doesn’t want to do whatever kinky thing I want right then, I’m totally fine with it. My attitude is like, “it’s not her responsibility to make me happy, my fate is in my hands, I can go fuck some other girl”, and it’s not like I’m mad at the girl at all. I still have totally positive emotions towards her.

It’s like I automatically become needy when I’m in a monogamous relationship.  Is there a way out of this trap, without simply becoming a committed polyamorist and refusing to enter a monogamous relationship?

This is a form of neediness in your relationships. For whatever reason, you’re attaching a lot of validation to how often your partner has sex with you. For whatever reason, you’re connecting “her wanting to have sex with me,” with “she loves me,” and this only becomes a big deal when you’re in a serious relationship.

I feel like in every long-term relationship there’s always one person who wants sex more than the other and this dynamic comes up a lot, where one person always feels like they have to bother the other one for sex and the other gets turned off by it. This may sound stupid, but do you still look at porn when you’re in a relationship? You may try that to relieve your excess sexual desire and not put pressure on your partner. As for not seeking the validation from her, that’s simply something you have to overcome by understanding she loves you despite whether she’s horny or not.

Opening

There are three different ways to open: direct, indirect and situational (which is another form of indirect usually). I’d say I tend to go situational 50% of the time, direct 40% of the time and indirect 10%.

When it’s best to go direct: When there’s a good logistical situation. For instance, if it’s a two or three-set, the girl looks like she’s looking for a guy (remember the people reading skills from part one), and her friends are distracted. Also, if there aren’t any guys around, although 90% of guys will back down and STFU if you have the balls to go direct in front of them. The only other situations I do direct is when I *REALLY* like a girl — i.e., she looks very intriguing to me as well as beautiful (really hot nerdy girls are a good example).

My direct is usually low-key because I’m a big guy and if I get too aggressive, I throw girls off. “Hi, I wanted to come meet you, I’m Mark” is probably at least half of my direct opens. Sinn’s “You guys look cool, are you friendly,” almost always hooks, etc. If you’re a smaller or shorter guy, I’d recommend coming in with more aggression and energy, something like, “You’re really sexy, I had to come meet you,” while kino’ing hard.

When I go situational: If you’re good at improvising lines based on the environment around you, situational is often the best way to go. It hooks just about every time and comes across as very genuine and spontaneous. I try to do it as much as possible.

Some stock situational lines I use: girl sitting by herself, I say, “Are you in time out?” If the bar is crowded, sometimes I bet the girl next to me a drink that I get served first. If some girls look really bored, I come over and say, “Look, this is a ‘fun-only’ zone, we need to fix this.”

Indirect: I save indirect openers (opinion openers, anything you’d find in the Routines Manual) for larger groups or mixed sets. “Drunk I Love You’s” opens groups of 4+ sufficiently 90% of the time. Google it if you don’t know what it is. It’s basically the new, “Who lies more?”

Transitioning and Cold Reading

Just as in the day game model, I ALWAYS transition with a cold read.

If I went direct, I’ll transition with a basic cold read about the group. If I noticed something interesting about them before I opened (again, people-reading, pre-selecting… see part 1), I comment on that. These cold reads usually range from neutral to hit the nail on the head. When you hit the nail on the head with your cold read, combined with the direct, you have pretty much instant attraction. A few months ago, I opened this really tall brunette direct, and cold read her job perfectly my very next line (”You look like a closet nerd, I bet you’re an engineer or something.”) I was right and she FREAKED the fuck out. The attraction was immediately through the roof and the rest of the set was a matter of escalating.

If I don’t have anything to cold read on the specific set, I use one of a couple stock cold reads: “You don’t look like you’re from X,” “You guys look like you’ve been friends forever,” etc.

This will always get the conversation started down a general thread. As I’ll focus on later, you want every conversation to be about one of two things: you or her. I don’t really fuck around with routines, games or gimmicks. I want to know about her ASAP and want to share myself ASAP, so these cold-reads get that started pretty quickly. On top of that, they eliminate the annoying “interview question” habit and that percentage of the time when you cold read them right, you get a nice boost of attraction.

Note: Often, just by cold reading them correctly and going direct, I’ll already have more than enough attraction to get laid by this point. Let me say that again. By simply going direct, having great non-verbals, and cold reading well, I’ll often have enough attraction to get laid. The rest is a matter of escalating well. The biggest tip off for this is if she immediately starts asking YOU interview questions.

For instance, I have sets that go like this sometimes:

Me: “Hi, excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you. I’m Mark.”
Her: “Oh wow, thank you.”
Me: “I got a really cool vibe from you, you seem more artistic than most of the other girls here.”
Her: “Oh… wow, I’m a photographer, how did you know that? That’s amazing.”
Me: “I just had a feeling, that’s why I wanted to meet you.”
Her: “Cool. So where are you from?”

BAM! As soon as that, “where are you from?” comes out, in my mind, the game’s over. Unless I majorly fuck up my escalation or comfort, she and I are going to get together.

A lot of guys fight against girls giving them interview questions, and this has never made sense to me. If a girl is asking you questions, she’s conveying nothing but interest. Why you would ever punish her for that is beyond me.

Cold reading off of indirect openers: Same concepts apply. The only difference is if we get into a conversation based on my opener, I’ll adjust my cold read for the conversation. For instance, let’s say I use, “Drunk, I love you’s:”

Me: “Hey guys, quick question, do drunk I love’s you count?”
Them: “What are those?”
Me: “See, my buddy Jack got drunk last night and texted this girl that he loved her. But he doesn’t remember doing it and now she thinks they’re a couple. What should he do?”
Them: Blah, blah, blah (they usually say he can’t take it back.)
Me: “Well, I’m sure you’ve done some stupid shit when you’ve been drunk.”
Her: “OMG, you have no idea.”
Me: (Go into crazy drunk story)

This will get you about 30-60 seconds into the conversation. In part 3, I’m going to through how I cycle attraction and comfort. Again, similar to the day game model where you cycle qualification and comfort, at night, I usually cycle teasing and comfort. We’ll talk about that next time.

I’m also doing a bunch of interviews right now. One is supposed to be for a local news station, but the broad keeps flaking on me (women…).

But anyway, this week’s mailbag deals with more theoretical stuff of why you should escalate, social circle game, and limiting beliefs.

Hey Mark, I’ve been analyzing my game lately and I think that the only thing that I don’t do is pushing the interaction, your famous ABC! I get telephone numbers easily, but I think anyone can do that. I’ve made out few times and when I do it I see the girl again. I’ve never had a SNL or sex in the bathroom. Why is it so hard to see the girl again if you don’t have a physical interaction with her? What does she think that she wants to see you again? What does she think that she doesn’t want to see you again when yo don’t have a physical interaction with her? What’s going on in their minds? Why do I have to have the physical interaction ASAP? What is the problem with dating?

Thanks, Leo.

There’s nothing “Wrong” with dating or taking things slow. The more physical you get with a woman, the more invested they become in the interaction. For instance, if you talk to a woman for two hours one night and get her number she may think three days later, “Oh, he was a nice guy,” but not make any effort to see you again. But if you talk for two hours and passionately make out then she’s much more likely to remember you, be more emotionally invested in you, and backward rationalize reasons why she liked you and wants to see you again.

I recommend guys get physical as soon as possible because it increases their chances of seeing women again, decreases flakes, and gives them more flexibility in establishing expectations for the relationship.

Entropy,
I’m 20, but I feel like I’m 60. I feel like I’ve been wasting my life. Everytime I try and improve my discipline, skills, whatever, a little voice inside me goes “Damn you, John. Why didn’t you do this years ago?” I need to get over my regrets.

Thanks,
John

Yeah, you do. Dude, you’re so young, it’s ridiculous. Just remind yourself every time you think this to go ahead and do now because if you don’t, five years from now you’ll back and say, “Damnit John, why didn’t you do this when you were 20.” This way, you can prevent those thoughts from even occurring in the future.

Hey Entropy, I think you are right on with your Personalizing Pickup ideas. To follow up on the question from anonomous, for us lucky guys who have physical advantages, would you suggest different openers since we are coming in with high value as it is? Direct or indirect, maybe low-investment or compliment openers, or even low value openers like Braddock’s “I’m not sure what to say to you, but I had to meet you. I’m Braddock.”

How about with qualification? Should we avoid the large and harsher hoops like “What do you have going for you other than your looks?” and stick with small/medium hoops? Or should we assume rapport and go straight into comfort after the opener?

Thanks.
F

Yes, the more physical advantages you have, the more going direct will take care of literally all the attraction game you need. Also, much lower investment openers work really well, such as, “Hi, I’m F.” because most of the time when you approach girls figure you approach women a lot and want to be hit on by you.

As for qualifying, you don’t want to be harsh, but definitely get as deep as possible with your hoops to build more comfort. Again, the disadvantage of being good-looking is that women are going to be slower to trust you and think that you say this shit to every girl. You’re much more likely to come off as a “player” and often they have to feel like they earned your affection. This is why the more natural (passive) attraction you have, the less you need to build (active attraction).

Hey Entropy! Sad news Doc is done but I’m actually glad for him. Simple question: how do you handle getting a reputation with being with a lot of women. For a while I felt like my dick was on the black list but recently I have been cleaning up, but certainly girls have heard about me. Any ideas?

Best,
Adam

I wrote about this last year. I call it “Attraction by Osmosis.” It’s an interesting effect once you infiltrate a social circle and start sleeping with the girls in it.

What happens is they naturally become more attracted to you (this is what I called “attraction by osmosis”). But because of their increased attraction for you, they become more skeptical of you and will test your congruence a LOT. I think they also do this for social reasons because they don’t want their other friends to think they’re trying to steal their man or whatever.

But basically these girls will ACT really bitchy towards you, but if you remain unaffected and get one of them alone, usually sleeping with them is very easy.

Although no advice can replace doing it yourself, this can help you get started.

The thing about approaching is most guys do the complete opposite of what they should do. Most guys think about it logically and say, “Well, I should spend some time and figure out what I’m going to say first.”

This is the WORST thing you can do when approaching a woman.

What happens is you end up thinking and thinking, getting more worried and nervous, until the pressure becomes too much and you start making excuses NOT to approach her. Nod your head if you’ve experienced this before. You need to take care of all of the thinking BEFOREHAND. It’s like thinking about how you’re going to shoot a three-pointer in the middle of a game, it’s definitely going to miss.

When guys think too much about what they’re going to say or how they’re going to say it, they end up stalling, hesitating and getting REALLY nervous. This is called approach anxiety, and just about every guy suffers from it.

Whether you know exactly what you’re going to say or not, the second you see an attractive girl, start walking towards her. Once you’re in front of her, say the first thing that comes to mind or a pre-planned line you have. If you’re in front of her and you STILL don’t know what you’re going to say, “Hi, I’m John Doe. I wanted to come meet you,” rarely ever fails.

The importance with approaching is to actually DO IT. Once you actually start going through the motions and actions of approaching beautiful women and starting conversations, your mind will begin to naturally come up with things to say.

Too many guys get so hung up on “the perfect thing to say” that they never actually get out there and do it.

What these guys don’t understand is the truth about approaching is that WHAT YOU SAY isn’t half as important as HOW YOU SAY IT. Generally, it takes guys a lot of experience to begin to figure this out.

So focus on your body language, your delivery and your tonality. A simple, “Hello” will suffice to begin 90% of your conversations. Now, you just need to worry about what to say next.

This quote got me thinking about how first impressions aren’t talked about enough in the community. Everyone is always talking about newest opener, the best way to develop inner game, frames, routines, and all kinds of other shit that doesn’t matter if you can’t get your foot in the door and start a conversation with someone.

Most people meet members of the opposite sex through their social circle or through common interests. If a girl meets a guy at a convention for doctors a lot is assumed and this affects her first impression of the guy. She can assume that he is successful, smart, educated, etc. before even looking at him. The fact that his shirt is a size too big is easily overlooked because of all the passive value he brings to the table just for being a doctor.

But we’re trying to learn COLD approach. On a cold approach you know nothing about the girl you’re going to start a conversation with and she know nothing about you. All she has to judge you on is the first impression you give off. If you’re well dressed, well groomed, carry yourself well, and make eye contact she’s much more likely to give you the time of day than if you have bad posture, need to shave, and all your clothes are a size too big.

But lets bring this all back to day game.

Day game is the coldest of the cold approach. You literally know nothing about the girl except that she shops in whatever store you happen to meet her in. You’re also in a situation where it’s not the social norm to hit on strangers. And finally you’re opening direct. Needless to say your first impression is pretty important.

I noticed a weird phenomenon that happened with my day game sets that I never really understood until recently. Women would always think that stuff I did was bolder and more direct than it actually was. I could talk about dropping out of college and they’d tell me they wish they could just do that and do what they wanted to do with life.

Everything I said and did was framed under the first impression that I was a man who went after what I wanted. The act of me going out of my way during the day and picking them up made such a lasting impression on them that everything I did afterward was framed around that first impression.

So how do you create a good first impression?

Sinn always said ‘Anyone who’s trying to get good at pickup and doesn’t dress well is retarded.” He’s right. Fashion and grooming is the first place to start. I’m not going to write a fashion guide though. GQ and Details are both excellent men’s fashion magazines and Kinowear is a great blog all about dressing for success.

For grooming you’re going to want to go get a “good” haircut. A good haircut should cost about $40. Salons that charge much more than that usually are just charging for the experience of being there and will have more complimentary services like bathrobes, head massages, drinks, etc. Unless you’re going for the 5 o’clock shadow look you want to shave daily. You want to keep your nails short and clean. Get rid of excessive body hair, especially on visible areas like your neck. And it should go without saying but brush your teeth, apply deodorant, and shower at least once a day.

The second thing you’re going to want to fix is your nonverbal communication. This means body language, eye contact, vocal tonality, facial expressions, etc. There are a ton of good books written on all of these subjects. A good one to start with is The Definitive Book of Body Language

Finally I like to add that you should have a good handshake. It should be firm but not rough and ff your dad didn’t teach you read this article or go to a car dealership and shake all the sales guys hands. Odds are that they’ll have a good handshake.

I can guarantee that the better your first impression is the better all of your interactions with women are going to go.

So much of day game, or just game in general comes down to logistics, and moving sets during the day are some of the worst logistics you’ll have to deal with. If I see a moving set in the mall and it looks like they’re going into a store I wait the 2 minutes and open them once she’s in the store just because the logistics are so much better.

But most of the time that doesn’t happen and I’m forced to open her as she’s moving. If she’s walking in the opposite direction as me I like top let her pass me and about 3 steps later I turn around and really oversell my direct opener, “I know this is wicked random but I HAD to come meet you, I’m Doc.” I really don’t think that stopping them or doing the double take thing really matters either way, it’s just a personal preference. Saffron stops them in their tracks and it works just as well.

If they’re walking in the same direction as you it’s common sense that you can just start a conversation as you walk because you’re walking the same way.

A lot of the time the women have a legitimate time constraint. I always like to just go for the number close right away even if I’ve only talked to her for 30 seconds, it’s not the most effective method but if she’s in a rush then she’s in a rush and you can say you gave it your best shot. If she isn’t pressed for time than I like to go for the instant date by around the five minute mark. A lot of the time I’ll call attention to how awkward it is standing in the middle of the street and try to bounce for coffee.

Overall moving sets are probably the hardest sets to open during the day and I tell guys to get decent with stationary sets in bookstores and coffee shops before trying to do moving sets.

I want to focus on my day game model with this first article because it’s the cornerstone of all of my day time interactions. When was learning day game and going out basically seven days a week to practice I kept a journal and everyday after I was done I would write down as much as I could remember about my interactions. I’ve talked about journals before, I think everyone should keep one because unlike field reports you’re just writing it for yourself and you can put your ego aside and talk about every interaction, good, or bad.

Captain Jack realized Strawberry Fields is a great routine for same night lays because he kept a journal. He basically looked at all the interactions with girls that he picked up and fucked that night and saw that in each one he was using Strawberry Fields.

My experience was similar. I looked back at all of my day game interactions that ended with a number that didn’t flake and looked for commonalties between them. I found that basically all of my successful interactions we when I opened direct, transitioned with a cold read, and then cycled qualification and comfort a few times.

I turned it into a system and model and gave it to a few friends to field test and they started having successful day game sets. Then I taught it to a few students and they started getting numbers, going on dates, and even laying the girls. I realized I had stumbled onto something.

I’ve finally decided to write it up for my blog. I’ve taught it to enough guys of all different ages and backgrounds to know that it can basically work for anyone. Like everything in the community this is a framework and guideline, it’s not absolute. Bend the rules and personalize this, everyone’s style is a little different and no interaction with another person can be fully broken down into some model.

The Opener

Like every pickup you have to start with an opener. I really like direct during the day and my model is based around it. People have legitimate time constraints during the day and most of the time people just don’t have the time to talk to you for 20 minutes. Direct cuts though all the attraction stuff in one sentence and gives you more time to build comfort and qualify the girl.

Direct works off the girl’s first impression of you. So the better your nonverbals are, body language, eye contact, vocal tonality, and delivery, the better it’s going to go. You’re also going to want to be dressed well, be well groomed, and if you’re in good shape or good looking it’s also going to help you… However I’m 5′6″, weigh 130lbs, and look like I’m 17… I’m obviously not relying on my looks to get by.

Direct is high risk, high reward. If a girl for one reason or another decides she’s not interested in you the set is basically over. No plowing, no negging, leave politely and go open another set.

I’m not going to go into the nuisances of direct game but Sinn sent out a really great email about direct and the mechanisms that drive it last week. I suggest you guys check it out if you want a complete guide to direct game for both day and night.

The specific opener that I use is just a standard direct opener–

“Excuse me, I know this is crazy and whatever but I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. I’m Doc”

It’s quick, it’s polite, and it’s flattering. The “I know this is kinda crazy/random” part is actually pretty important. It basically says that you don’t do this everyday and acknowledges that this is a somewhat strange situation.

There are three main responses you’ll get to this–

1. She’ll be a little flattered, a little confused, and a little taken aback. She’ll basically say to you “ummmm… ok? I’m GIRL.” This is the most common reaction you’ll get

2. Boyfriend objection. This is the hardest blowout you should ever get. Either she actually has a boyfriend or she’s being polite and asking you to go away. I usually just say “He’s a lucky guy. It was nice meeting you.” I wrote a whole post about this a few months back which you can find here.

3. She’ll be very flattered and happy. She’ll ask you a lot of questions and basically if you don’t fuck up it’ll end well.

The Transition

You’ve opened her! But now what?

I like to follow up my opener with a cold read.

Cold reading for all intents and purposes is just guessing something about someone or telling them a truism about themselves. You can use them by making a statement but is actually just a fancy way of asking them a question.

The question “How do you like to be fucked?” Becomes “I bet you like to be bent over, fucked doggy, and probably slapped around a bit.”

An example of telling someone a truism about themselves is “You know you seem really reserved and shy but I bet when you’re around someone you trust you have this total wild side.” That’s basically true about anyone, everyone has multiple sides to their personality.

They also can act as qualification questions and they test for compliance. In the cold read I use during the day “You know, you have like this west coast vibe.” She can respond with “No, I’m from Philly.” or she can say “No, I’m actually from Philly but I’m here for nursing school at Boston University.”

She shows me more interest with the second response. She’s actively trying to create rapport by sharing more about herself.

Just to clarify it the cold read I follow up my direct opener with is “You know, you totally have this west coast vibe.” Obviously if you’re from the west coast use “east coast vibe” or “New York vibe.”

El Topo has written a lot about cold reading on blog, especially sexual cold reading. Check it out if you want to know more.

I’m going to follow up this post tomorrow with the rest of my model.

A very gung-ho newbie posted saying he set a challenge for himself as far as approaching goes. He wanted to do 100 approaches in ONE DAY.

Quickly, ask yourself, think of the last 100 approaches you’ve done and how long has it taken? A week? A month? Six months? Maybe even a year? Maybe you’ve never even done 100 approaches. There’s one message board (won’t name names) that treats 100 approaches as a year-long challenge (which few guys ever meet — talk about low expectations).

So, predictably, a lot of other guys posted and commented saying, “hey man, you may want to try something a bit easier, approaching is really hard at first, etc.” But the newbie was adamant, he was going to do it that weekend.

He goes out and comes back to report on his challenge. Only 16 approaches. Extremely disappointed in himself. But then again, when was the last time YOU did 16 approaches in one day? I don’t know if I’ve EVER done that many in one day, and my guess is most guys haven’t. For most guys, 5-10 a night is a good night.

But the newbie was disappointed, so he said he was going to go out the next day (Sunday) and try again.

How’d he do? 68 approaches. Towards the end he started having good conversations and actually got a few numbers.

Guys on the board start congratulating him for his determination and his balls. But wait. He’s still not happy. Next day, he’s trying again.

And the following day? 73 approaches. A lot of conversations. A lot of numbers. At this point he has enough phone numbers for him to call and get dates for the next two weeks. This is a guy who’s been active in the community for three days and he just improved more than most guys do in six months.

And guess what? He still didn’t reach his own expectations…

One of the major sticking points of guys who come into the community is that they lack basic social skills. They are simply unable to maintain a coherent conversation without being awkward.

There are also some people who are insanely driven and will open 10 sets a night, five nights a week for a year straight. They’ll try and memorize every routine and spout anything they read online to the exact word.

What always kind of baffled me was these are usually the same people. It just seemed like an overarching coincidence.

This may seem kind of obvious now, but I realized last night that the REASON these guys are able to open constantly, all day, every day is because they don’t understand social norms and therefore aren’t influenced by social norms.

The root of approach anxiety and the reason guys who already have good social skills have trouble pushing themselves is because they are too aware of the social norms and they’re aware that they have to break the social norms. Guys who lack social skills aren’t even aware of the social norms, therefore pushing themselves to approach 100 sets a week doesn’t even occur to them as difficult.

…and gosh darnit, people like me…