Inner Game, Relationships - Sunday, February 28, 2010 13:42 - 16 Comments

If You Can Have 10 Other Women, Why Ever Commit?

Another great reader question:

“Knowing that there are ten more out there, I find myself not really caring to much about the women I date.  I know you end up with a solo girlfriend from time to time, how does that happen?  Or is it just a situation where you get bored with the game?”

This is a FANTASTIC question and one that I’ve struggled with for years and continue to struggle with.

Getting bored with the game is definitely NOT the issue. In fact, it’s typically quite the opposite. It takes me a notoriously long time to commit to women BECAUSE I love the game so much.

My policy for commitment is like this:
- I date multiple women regularly and indefinitely. They come and go.
- Eventually, as time goes on, a few stick around for quite a while and we get a little bit closer.
- The more I like a particular girl, the less motivated I will be to find new ones, as I’ll be spending more and more time with her.
- Eventually, I’ll reach a point with one woman, where I naturally enjoy my time with her more than I do any others.

This “breaking point” will be apparent when you bang new girls and practically your IMMEDIATE thought after banging them is, “Wow, I wish X was here instead…”

Once that starts happening, X is probably girlfriend material.

Caveat: Anything involving traveling and distance is off the table. I don’t know what it is, but traveling, vacations, and long-distance distorts your perceptions of one another, your emotions and your expectations. Don’t ever make a serious commitment with someone who you can’t physically see on a long-term basis. Continue…