Other, Personal - Sunday, April 25, 2010 9:44 - 11 Comments

Thoughts on England

Been in the UK the last two weeks, and have now been out a total of 10-15 nights in three different UK cities in my life. So figured I’d make some comments… All comments are in reference and comparison to the US:

People Are Less Sexual
Both the men and women. Guys approach less here and girls are less flirty. Cockblocking seems slightly more common and you see more large social groups. One interesting thing that I’ve noticed in the limited number of sets I’ve done is that there seems to be a limit to the aggression for a lot of women. In America, it’s hard to be TOO aggressive… especially in cities like NYC, Vegas, LA, etc. But I ran into a couple situations here where stuff I said was deemed too edgy or too sexual too early.

Brits Are More Polite
This is true for all of Europe, but the British are indeed very polite people. Every time someone bumps into me or steps on my foot, they apologize… a novelty in the US. People hold the doors for each other, say “Excuse me” and “Cheers” all the time, and a “bad” blow out here may be something like, “No thanks,” or “Nice try,” whereas in the US you get stuff like, “Fuck off,” or other mean comments.

The Brits Can’t Hold Their Liquor
Yes, I said it. The English can’t hold their liquor worth a damn. This is particularly more true in the north (Manchester) than the south, but seems to be true most places I go. I don’t think I’ve seen so many drunk, stumbling people by 11:30PM in my life. Coming across puke and fights each night isn’t a question of if, but when. And honestly, for a country that serves shots that are HALF the size of the rest of the world, there’s really no excuse. The Brits I hung out with in Argentina commented on how I could drink them under the table, which I thought was strange considering… well, they’re Brits. But I get here and nobody can hold their liquor. No wonder the rest of Europe things they’re a bunch of babbling, drunk idiots… they are. Pull yourselves together man. Stop stepping on my shoes. And stop spilling your fucking drinks everywhere.

Girls Love My Accent
As Americans, we’re conditioned to believe the rest of the world hates us. But go to the UK or Australia and they LOVE your accent fellas. Pretty sweet deal.

Their Ugliness is Greatly Exaggerated
Now, I’m not going to go so far as to say the girls in this country are hot. They’re not. But they’re not as hideous as the reputation they get. It gets worse in the north and progressively gets better as you go south. But surprisingly, you can find a handful of good looking women each night. It may take longer and you may have to sift through more trolls than you’re used to, but they’re there. In fact, being a leg-guy myself, one thing I appreciate about this country is that pretty much every girl between 18-25 wears high heels and short skirts every night. It’s like there’s a law or something. Surprisingly, there are nice legs and asses everywhere… unfortunately, beer guts, fat faces and bad teeth are just as common as well… so tread carefully.

But all in all, British girls seem to be cheery, and for the most part pleasant. Honestly, I think all girls of all English-speaking countries are more or less 95% the same.

Anyway… cheers!