I’ve always been a voracious reader, and as time goes on, I get asked for book recommendations more and more.

I honestly believe that if one is well-educated and read in psychology, sociology and philosophy in general, one doesn’t need much (or any) community material to improve very quickly.

So if I had a “must read” list for guys, this would be it.

Good Books for Pick Up

No More Mr. Nice Guy! by Robert Glover – Possibly THE best inner game book I’ve ever read on modern masculinity. Glover is a clinical therapist who works primarily with men and writes about the emasculation of the last couple generations. Not only are men now afflicted with the curse of trying to always be a “nice guy” but he also goes into why this is actually manipulative and weak behavior. Well written. Awesome explanations. I read it in one sitting. This was a big “Aha!” book for me.

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie – The best book ever written on how to get along with people and make them like you. This applies to guys, girls, friends, family, strangers — anyone. Dale Carnegie’s simple lessons are timeless and I really wish I had read this much earlier in life.

The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease – The title isn’t an exaggeration. Exhaustive, well-written and provides pictures of people for examples. Everything’s backed up by research and studies. Body language constitutes the majority of communication and becoming as aware as possible of it is key. You’ll learn more about body language from this book than you’ll ever need to know.

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida – A community classic and for a reason. A defining book on masculinity and what it means to be a man. It also has a great section on how best to deal with femininity and manage relationships well. A little flaky and new age’ish at times, but still valuable.

Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful by Anthony Ravenscroft – the best book on relationship management I’ve ever read, hands down. It’s interesting that one has to find such a radical and counter-cultural lifestyle to find this kind of wisdom, but considering this guy has been juggling multiple girlfriends longer than any of us have been alive makes sense. Even if you plan on never deviating from monogamy, this book is powerful for its sections on communication, sacrifice, jealousy, love, expectations, etc. The author tends to go off on tangents (some enjoyable, some annoying), but definitely worth the effort.

Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi – A definitive book on building a social circle and maintaining friendships with others. Enormously valuable not only for the networking skills, but the ability to connect with people very quickly. Kind of an addendum to Dale Carnegie’s work.

Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition; Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman – A classic social science book explaining why people’s ability to empathize, relate and understand other people determines success much more pure quantitative intelligence. A bit scientific, but explains such concepts as empathy, confidence, self-esteem, etc. with grueling detail and research to back up the arguments.

The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature by Matt Ridley – An evolutionary and biological explanation for sex and all of our behaviors surrounding sex. A bit dense at times, but incredibly interesting if you’re willing to sift through and digest the scientific material.

Good Books for Life

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand – This is probably the most influential book I’ve read in my life. It’s not necessarily THE best book, but the place I was when I read it, it was invaluable. Ayn Rand’s philosophy is one of empowerment, responsibility and ambition. She constructs a fascinating novel around these values and hammers her points home repeatedly through the actions of the main characters. Everyone should read this book at some point in their life, whether they really need the message or not.

The 4-Hour work Week: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Tim Ferris – Awesome book. Inspired me to quit my day job and pursue Practical Pickup full-time. A bible for disgruntled office workers and aspiring entrepreneurs. But even if you love your job and career, the book is inspiring in the author’s free spirit and ingenuity when it comes to getting what he wants out of life. If you don’t want to work for the system, Ferris shows you how to make the system work for you.

An Introduction to NLP by Joseph O’Connor – The NLP book makes it on the “life” list, because to say NLP is only useful for picking up women is selling it so, so, so short. I used to discount this stuff because I thought it was creepy. But the self-help potential of learning NLP and its concepts cannot be overstated. It’s basically learning about how the mind operates and how to consciously alter your learning habits.

The Limits of Power by Andrew Bacevich – The best book I’ve read on the current state of American government and affairs. It’s not a political book, but it’s about American politics. It’s not a policy book, although it’s about American policy. It’s the most coldly rational and objective view of the state of our nation right now. Brilliant and well-cited. Highly recommended.

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle – the en vogue book to spirituality. Also, the community’s darling last year. Honestly, I think it’s a bit overrated. It’s a great guide to centering oneself and identifying beyond one’s ego. But as far as a legitimate spiritual practice, it really just scratches the surface.

Good Books for Fun

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis – The movie does it no justice. The book is a visceral and horrifying experience. Not for the feint of heart.

East of Eden by John Steinbeck – A modern classic. The American narrative and the great biblical mythology intertwined into a beautifully written story of family, life and death.

The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien – Best war book I’ve ever read. Based on O’Brien’s Vietnam experiences.

Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster by Jon Krakauer – Amazing. Title says it all. Couldn’t put it down.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini – The hype’s there for a reason. Don’t watch the movie, read the book. Another one you can’t put down.