Attraction, PUA Theory - Written by Entropy on Friday, February 5, 2010 7:12 - 15 Comments
Attraction is Instant?
A thread popped up on a forum recently with a couple less experienced guys talking about having an epiphany that “attraction is instant.”
Of course, as usual, I felt obliged to step in and crush everyone’s dreams.
But seriously, I felt a lot of these guys were getting mixed up so I posted the following:
–
I don’t want to take anything away from your realization, it’s an important one. A lot of guys get the impression from this stuff that you basically always start at zero and have to build attraction from scratch, when that’s not true at all.
But going the other way and claiming attraction is “instant” isn’t correct either.
Attraction is always changing. Coming and going. It’s not static and it’s not an all or nothing deal.
All sorts of things can cause a woman to be attracted to you. Your clothes. Your posture. Your clever jokes. Your interesting stories. The way you touch her. Your haircut. The time of the month. Your job. Your passions and hobbies. Your confidence and self-awareness. The way you laugh. Your beliefs. The way you look into her eyes…
You get the point… I could go on forever…
Some of these things are “instant.” For instance, if you’re 6′3″ and built like Drago from Rocky IV, that’s pretty instant attraction. But if you have brilliant, yet ironic humor, a Ph.D in Physics and used to save starving kids in Sudan in your spare time — well, that’s also attractive, but there’s nothing instant about it. She finds out about it as your identity unfolds throughout the interaction.
In seminars, I refer to these things as “passive” attraction and “active” attraction. A concept that’s actually spread quite a bit in the past two years.
Attraction comes and goes. Sometimes it’s there immediately and you lose it over time (minutes, months, years). Other times it’s not there to begin with, but you slowly build it over time (again, minutes, months, years). But as people in this thread have pointed out… the sooner you build it, the more permanent it seems to be.
15 Comments
Aaron
Great post man. I see a lot of guys who walk in a set and get immediate IOI’s and just start throwing negs and fucking the set up beyond repair. Perfect reason to calibrate your game.
On a side note,
i can’t fucking stand everyone hating on the guys over at RSD. Blueprint is the gold standard when it comes to inner game, hands down. Fucking keyboard jockeys
Entropy, the reason why I read your articles is because:
a) your content is great and authentic
b) you are above the pack when it comes to standing above all this community BS and back-stabbing. So I hope guys like Matrix – whoever he is – can either calm down or post where his followers can hear the world according to him.
Seriously mate I think you’re one of very few ‘pua’s’ who are awesome at what you do, and you don’t act like Matrix types.
Hope it will stay this way!
jeff
matrix,
RSD is NOT the gold standard for inner game. State control or pumping your BT maybe, but not inner game itself. (significant difference) While I agree that negging when you already have attraction is uncalibrated, we can’t forget that some people don’t have attraction from the start and may need to tease/ neg or display some sort of value to gain attraction (hence this article)
jeff
aaron, this was a post on the local boston lair.
Btw I was just against the whole negative language, am tired of it on the forums.
As for RSD’s Blueprint you might be surprised – I think it’s great BUT damn expensive at full price ($400+).
It really did connect a few dots for me about two years ago, though I must admit I’ve since found similar ideas in other self-development books.
Verdict – it really is great for discussing state but I’m not sure if I would recommend a friend of mine buy it. As a hardback it would cost $15-30 on Amazon, yet because it’s from a 4-day seminar it’s much much more. A pity, really…
I usually only talk about stuff like this in person (the last thing I want to do on the internet is ignite some sort of flame war)… but I have to disagree with Matrix.
For anyone who’s very familiar with Tony Robbins, David Deida and Eckhart Tolle, there’s little to no new ideas in The Blueprint. And what drives me absolutely insane — RSD or otherwise — is when people express ideas and imply that they’re their own when they’re not. With the exception of David D, people in this industry NEVER give credit for where they got their information, and I just find it intellectually dishonest.
90% of the “theory” out there can be traced directly back to either: self help, NLP, and evolutionary biology. I don’t know why everyone needs to feel like they’re reinventing the wheel here… men have been chasing tail since the beginning of time. There’s nothing new under the sun, nor has there ever been.
Yes, the material on Blueprint is very in-depth and very useful, but little of it is actually Tyler’s imo.
People shit on Dr. Paul, but I found his stuff to be far deeper, more directly applicable and 100% original.
Definately #1 PUA is Entropy
olivherbst
Who is this Dr. Paul guy you´re talking about? Is it this “How we fall in love” psychologist? Or this Tai Chi guy?
Shanil
I actually thought the blueprint was pure shit, because it just ran the most main stream self-help stuff at the time and marketed it as their new cutting edge thing, I am fairly well read, I actually stopped after the first 3 dvds, if you have not read the very popish power of now, unleashing the giant etc then I guess it will be eye opening but it will be a total turnoff to a person who has and reads way beyond it.
I liked The Blueprint. I didn’t pay $400 for it, because that would be fucking stupid, but the product itself is pretty interesting. I’ve tried to get through Eckhart Tolle and Tony Robbins, but just can’t do it. I think the Blueprint worked for me because it’s linked to a specific subject that I’m interested in, i.e. getting girls.
RaKe dude?? Blueprint is soo long I didnt bother looking at it. Its disorganized thinking without structure.
The guy is all over talking about different stuff to a point of dizziness. Its too much info IMO.
He sounds like he needs to hang with naturals to stop overthinking this .lol. Its better to Keep it simple S.
It is so true that Attraction is very fluctuating.
Just last night when I was out with some friends I went to the toilet and a girl was there and a guy was telling me, “She is very hardcore!” and I told her then, “Oh, you like it hard, don’t you?” and she said to me, “Not with you!”.
This was typical ASD from her part since I was too sexual, and also in front of guys. But it also didn’t sound like “she was attracted to me” and if attraction would either be there or not I should have been screwed.
But later on, when I approached a table of girls she sat there, and when I had ran my opener she was the first one of them to ask for my name (a classic IOI).
It was almost like her past comment, “not with you!” never meant anything.
I usually categorize attraction in three different ways, “Instantenous Attraction”, “Momentarily Attraction” and “Rationalized Attraction”, it’s of course still “attraction” I’m talking about, but it’s different ways it manifests itself.
The categories are of course based on my real-life experiences and not by “guessing” or just “theorizing without any kind of support”.
/ Max K.
Another Great article
Speaking of David D…
His Mantransformation Seminar is by far the most powerful inner game course i’ve ever gone through…
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Was this the RSD forum lol? They seem to be having one of those epiphanies every day.